That’s the only thing these threads are good for.
For discussion purposes, would this be an appropriate analogy:
The NAMBLA convention is in town, and they’re all hanging out on the street. These guys aren’t necessarily bad guys (I mean, most of them haven’t raped any children, but, let’s be honest, maybe some of them have). For those of you who don’t know what NAMBLA means, it’s Man Boy Love Association. These guys are all Pedophiles.
Your 8 year old son is walking down that street, wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
The NAMBLA guys are ignoring the adults walking down the street, and they’re focusing on your son. They’re saying things to your son. Things which are compliments. Nice things. Nothing illegal. Just things like “nice day!”, “Hello”, “mami!” “why so rude?”
Is your son being rude if he ignores them? Should he feel complimented? Should he feel threatened? If you were there, would you do something about the pedophiles trying to talk to him?
In my view, because the disproportionate risk of harm. You are not harmed in any way whatsoever if you don’t say hello, and neither is the woman. But enough men have used a polite “Hello” as a pretense to something else, and enough women have had bad experiences through such incidental contact that they would rather not risk the slight benefit of a friendly “Hello” versus the possible harm from someone who takes a woman’s friendly reaction to such a greeting as an invitation to more personal intrusions
Like I said, if you know specific women who have told you they don’t mind it, go ahead, say hi to them. But you don’t know how a stranger feels on the street so don’t talk to them
Given that you’re comparing anyone who does speak to only certain people on the street as pedophiles… no. It seems like an entirely unhelpful analogy that would only serve to make conversation here even more disrupted.
I’m not sure what you mean by a “go-between”, but ‘the ordinary interplay of commerce’ covers the farmers’ market. See also what Kimstu said about the social situation - being invited to an outdoor party is just as valid an “introduction” as an indoor one.
Because joining a book club carries with it an implication of a common interest with other members of the club. Walking down the street past some half-derelicts who apparently have nothing to do with their time than sit on the sidewalk and bother women does not.
A single time? Tell them to drop the acquaintance and ignore (“cut”) the person. If he persists, he is not a gentleman and need not be treated as such.
It’s not like all these questions haven’t been worked out in detail by advanced social thinkers like Miss Manners, and, suitably brought up to date, work as well in the 21st century as they did in the 19th.
Regards,
Shodan
Let’s be honest; the people are saying things to that woman for the exact same reason that the pedophiles are saying things to the little boy. I think that makes it an appropriate analogy.
Let’s, indeed, be honest; do you truly and honestly believe that catcallers and women/pedophiles and small children is an appropriate analogy to make? You wish to hang on your hat on that idea? To say that you consider that there are no differences between the two significant enough to make the comparison moot?
We have people saying nice things to a person as that person walks down the street. They’re saying the same things for the same reason. It’s the same.
If that makes you uncomfortable you may want to examine why, and maybe you will become illuminated.
I’m trying to imagine a situation where a “Hello” was an immediate precursor to offensive contact. I’m not saying it hasn’t happened, but it seems like a rather large leap in logic.
Man: Hi.
Woman: Hello.
Man (motorboating the woman): Plbbbbbbbbbbbtttttt!
I can see where there would be things that happened in between the initial greeting and the subsequent offensive behavior, but really, is “Hello” where we are drawing the line?
Sometimes people greet others or even give compliments just to be pleasant. I’ve complimented both guys and girls without any intent or desire to have any sort of intimate contact with them.
Not everyone thinks with their dicks and/or vaginas.
As a practical matter though, the fact is that in NYC it is not standard social practice to say “hello” to people who pass you in the street. So while you can quibble with whether someone who is thus addressed has been harrassed, there’s really no reason to do it.
In my entire life I’ve never had as many strangers try to say hello to me as I walked by as that woman did in that 5 minute video.
Also, if you think there was nothing sexual about what they were saying then you are an idiot.
What is that same reason?
How extrospective of you.
You’re a smart guy, figure it out.
And, I’ve already shared that many of the people who you greeted probably thought it was odd. Anyway, most of the guys “greeting” this woman aren’t nodding and saying hello to passersby of both genders. Did any of them greet the guy with the camera in the backpack?
You said that everyone who says hello to anyone else has an ulterior, sexual agenda. I’m merely stating that’s not true.
Given that my argument was that your line of debate was unhelpful; nah.
I said no such thing.
Yes, you did.
You weren’t convincing.