Generally, I won’t sit on a bus while anyone stands. I don’t care if they’re old young, fat, thin, male, or female. If there are no extra seats and I’m sitting, I’ll stand.
I figure, I know exactly how able-bodied I am. I haven’t a clue about anyone else, though.
I usually won’t offer it to anyone specifically, though, unless there’s someone totally oblivious and obviously uncomfortable. then I’ll say, “hey, there’s a seat free if you want it.”
I know! But it’s true! Not for me, of course. I’d talk to Jack the Ripper on his way to his next victim. That’s the kind of yakker I am. But I can see where people have their game face on and don’t want to be distracted. Can’t talk…concentrating on my independence.
Just because some men who offer a woman a seat might be doing so for a boorish reason, i.e., to start a conversation and from there, to offer unwanted attention, I don’t see how it follows as a reason for men to consider refraining from the practice. Generally, boors are going to use any opening to push themselves into a woman’s attention – pointing out “jokingly” that I’m not smiling is a particular pet peeve of mine – and a polite person is going to offer their seat, accept the answer graciously, and either remain seated or stand up and move along, the encounter consider ended.
er, the encounter considered* ended.
Why would you be trying to avoid juding the health and fitness of the female passengers only? What the hell is wrong with ‘first come, first serve’ seating on public transportation?
It’s just sexist, wrong, and stupid.
I am sick and tired of hold-over coddling in the name of ‘politeness’. It’s rude to assume that I need a seat because I’m female. I have vocal chords that work, and if I need your help I will ask for it. Until then, your assumption should be that I can take care of myself, just as you would assume for a man.
Right, disabled or old men, but any woman regardless of whether she just finished a triathlon. I’m glad to know that I occupy the same slot as a disabled man in your mind. Not a man who just finished a triathlon. If you wouldn’t offer your seat to a totally able bodied man, don’t do it to me. I am not disabled.
I’m not afraid of them talking to me. I don’t mind conversation. What I mind is being automatically treated the same way that Cemetery Savior would treat a ‘male with physical limitations’.
I think they should refrain from the practice of treating women the way they would treat a disabled man, and start treating them the way they’d treat an able bodied man.
I’m sorry that happened! I was about to bring up the very similar experience I had last year, only I was on BART and I forget what was wrong with me - I was sick or something - but I just couldn’t stand up anymore. I was 23 at the time and normally very able bodied, and the car was very crowded. But as I crouched down on the floor someone immediately gave up a seat for me - a young woman about my age, so chauvinism doesn’t even come into it. I was very thankful and things were nice all around.
I was going to use that as a general demonstration that, regardless of anyone’s age, gender or physical condition, it’s just nice and reasonable to give up a seat for someone who looks like they need it more, and that should probably be the general rule. But there are always cars full of assholes for every nice, reasonable person, I guess.
And jeez, why not hold a door for someone regardless of their gender, if you’re not in some terrible hurry? Are the doors really heavy round some people’s areas?
Oh for goodness’ sake, it’s a respect thing. They’re not chaining you in the kitchen telling you to make pie and babies, they’re offering you a seat.
Because assuming that I’m too weak to stand up, and that I should be treated in the same manner that they would treat a man with ‘physical limitations’ is not respectful.
You want to respect me, don’t assume I need to be coddled.
I guess I just don’t see where the “coddling” comes in. When I’m having lunch with a friend, and I offer them the bigger piece of pie, it’s not because I assume they’re weaker or disabled or in greater need of pie than I am. It’s because I’m being nice. Offering a seat is just a nice thing to do for someone.
You’re entitled to your feelings of offense, of course. I just don’t quite understand them.
catsix, what would be your reaction to a polite woman of your approximate age and physical ability opening a door for you? Are all social niceties aimed in your direction unappreciated or just those from men?
Christ on a cracker, woman! A man offering you a seat is assuming nothing except that you are a female, and he is simply being polite. It is a courtesy, something we can’t really have too much of in general. What the hell is wrong with you that you should be offended by an act of consideration?
You are an idiot.
Maybe it’s not that they assume you’re too weak to stand up…maybe…just maybe…they thought you might like to sit down. Radical concept.
Do you offer your seat to able bodied men?
It’s not any kind of ‘consideration’ or ‘courtesy’ or any of that other bullshit to automatically treat me the same way that you would treat a disabled man.
I’m telling you that I consider it rude and insulting to treat me any differently than you would treat an able bodied man. Is there something wrong with not wanting to be treated differently? I don’t fucking want special treatment due to tits. I take serious issue with lumping women and disabled men into the same category.
Last time I checked, personal insults weren’t allowed outside the Pit.
And why should they assume that of me when they would never assume an able-bodied man would like to sit down?
catsix , what would be your reaction to a polite woman of your approximate age and physical ability opening a door for you? Are all social niceties aimed in your direction unappreciated or just those from men?
Overreact all you like. Enjoy your ride standing up - I’ll be comfy over in my seat.
Antigen, strong independent educated woman who has no problem accepting a seat on the bus when it’s offered.
I think **catsix ** is stating very strongly what many men and woman feel more lightly. In today’s world of Equal rights, Partners in marriage and treating everyone as an equal, to many of us, surrendering your seat automatically to a female smacks of the days of “The man needs more pay for the same job, he’s supporting the family, grunt grunt grunt”, “I wear the pants in the family and the woman’s place is in the kitchen”, “Here you go little Lady, rest your delicate self here”.
I will say again, I have offered my seats to anyone under any sort of distress without hesitation, but I feel strange offering my seat to a healthy appearing woman, carrying nothing more than her purse or briefcase. I do not think it is a bad thing to do, I just do not feel comfortable doing it. I assume and apparently correctly that I would offend many women by doing so.
Jim
But not a single Lady.
Not from what I’ve ridden on the PATs. It is specifically stated that the first open rows of seats are to be vacated for the disabled or impaired.
Oh, and just to add-catsix, you are sounding EXACTLY like those radical feminists you are constantly complaining about.
Taking catsix’s opinion as anything close to what most women would think in this situation is probably not the most advisable course of action.