Sick of This "Breeder" Crap

The BBQ Pit
1

I probably won’t be able to tend this thread very well, since I’ve got two toddlers who require my attention and care, but my feelings on this issue are entirely too pungent for an IMHO, much less MPSIMS.

You ungrateful, whiny, self-centered brats. How dare you refer to a pregnant woman as a “breeder” beneath your contempt, unworthy of your seat on the train or bus, because she “chose” to become pregnant!

Rather than appreciating a woman’s decision to take on the raising of a child and respecting the institution of motherhood, you despise her for it!

Now, if I were to sit here and offer reciprocal scorn for your livelihoods and their fruits, the vitriol would rain down on me like missles over Baghdad.

What really gets me is that this contempt for motherhood is wielded within a messageboard where people flip out regularly over stories of child abuse and neglect — don’t you see the connection? Do you think mothers live in a vacuum? We know you hate children, and there are fleeting moments when we do too (you can bet your moms despised your asses on occasion). That’s why this job is so fucking difficult, because kids are a pain in the ass at times and we have to love and nurture them anyway. But that doesn’t make it a terrible job; it makes motherhood worthy of so much respect.

While I’m at it, I also pit Linda Hirshman and the other nitwits who insist that women are demaning themselves by staying home to raise children because:

More “breeder” talk, with a feminist spin – sure, why should women have to be the ones to raise the kids!? It’s terrible work! Nobody pays you!

You people who want to elbow us and our children out of the way, I don’t think you get the value of motherhood, and I fear your attitude has spread to moms themselves, who feel guilty and self-conscious about choosing time over money.

Sorry this isn’t better developed; kids woke up.

2

But is it okay if my friends and I (all parents) refer to ourselves as breeders? Since, yanno, we are. I’ll spend more money on Friend A’s birthday present than Friends B and C, since B and C are breeders and I wind up buying for their entire families, for example.

Sorry about your hurt feelings, fessie and I can certainly understand getting angry when someone uses any term meant to imply contempt for another person.

Somehow, I just can’t muster any outrage about this particular one, though. I’m a mom, I’ve bred, sure, that makes me a breeder, so what? If someone wants to dismiss me as a person, just by being derogative about one facet of my life, well then there’s not much I can do about it and I’m definitely not going to bother getting all bent by it. I don’t think my choice to become a mother confers any special auto-halo of respect, same as choosing not to brings kids into this world isn’t automatically wonderful and noble, etc.

3

When I read the thread title I thought this thread would be about the gay community’s use of “breeder” as a mock-disparaging term for straights.

4

The part that gets me is, what is the alternative? Should we all simply stop having children because they’re obnoxious at times? Should we just halt the human race because the little tykes are kinda half-baked for a couple decades?

Someone has to do it! I’m all for people choosing not to have children of their own, but it’s just silly to have a hard-on for every person who has kids. The term breeder, when used in this way, is highly insulting and ridiculous.

I’m not trying to glamorize parenthood or turn it into something worthy of worship, but it is the basic ingredient of civilization itself.

5

Same here. Kind of a disappointment.

After sitting in the same restaurant as a screaming child for fifteen minutes, I worked out a brilliant solution with a friend of mine. Simply divide the world into two parts, one where children are allowed and one where they’re not.

6

Context is important. Lots of us were things in the past, that we aren’t in any way ashamed of, then or now. However, being called by them specifically can and often is just an outright insult. And to say one should just accept an insult because it is true doesn’t make much sense, lots of insulting things are true and that doesn’t mean you should just accept them lying down. The context of the incident itself, and the parties involved is important too.

As a quick example, in Goodfellas Tommy DeVito made money by shining shoes when he was a kid. So? Not that big of a deal. Lots of kids have lame oddjobs like delivering papers or mowing lawns or etc. The problem comes in when another wiseguy 20 years later refers to him specifically as a “shine boy.” That’s a clear insult, especially in the context of the mafia subculture these two were in (as portrayed in the film, anyways.) It’s akin to saying Tommy is just a kid, and has no respect, a pretty major insult to throw around in that type of crowd.

Likewise, at the SDMB the term “breeder” has a long and glorious history of being a derogatory term. To embrace it, in the context of these forums, is embracing an insult, which isn’t too bright in my opinion.

7

The way I see it is, every one of us once had a pregnant mother, and every one of us was once a small child. I think this kind of contempt towards children is a kind of self-loathing…it’s really kind of sad.

8

Ditto.

While I’ve always always always always hated damn fucking inconsiderate parents and their damn screaming babies, “breeder” is a gay word.

That said:

Now I have a wife of 2 years and a 10 week old… I was at Wal*Mart the other other day and some dude had a screaming 3 year in his cart… I barely noticed.

I just found my martini olives and got the fuck out of Dodge, pronto.

I see both sides.

But still, “breeders” has always been a gay thing to me.

9

I was under that impression for a while, but as of late, it appears to be more like: Breeder (slang) - Wikipedia

10

That’s supposed to make me feel what, exactly? Motherhood does not automatically confer sainthood or respect. Any two yahoos with the right equipment can have a kid.

I didn’t see any disrespect for the institution of motherhood in that thread, just annoyance at people who choose to get pregnant then expect the rest of the world to accommodate them. The contempt isn’t towards the kids, but the self-absorbed parents.

I’m not saying this applies to all parents, but having a kid doesn’t remove you from the realm of the rest of us. It doesn’t automatically make you more respected, or more deserving of anything. It just makes you people who are going to have a kid.

11

Clearly the gay agenda has contaminated our precious hetrosexual bodily fluids.

Santorum was right!

12

It also makes some of them in need of a physical break at times; self-imposed or not. I certainly don’t think they deserve to be punished for being pregnant any more than someone should be punished for breaking a leg. If you need to sit down, you need to sit down.

13

There’s the crux of it, IMO. I daresay few reasonable people despise or have contempt for mothers, pregnant women, or children per se. It’s the attitude of entitlement that so many of you display that is contemptible. And in my experience, pregnant women can be some of the most mind-blowingly self-centered people on earth. Ungrateful? Please explain exactly what it is we’re supposed to be grateful for. That you’re granting the world the boon of your offspring? :dubious:

No one owes you a damn thing, and I think that’s where the word “breeder” comes in – to remind you that you are not special, not the first woman ever to give birth, not a saint or a goddess to be exalted and revered. Somehow I suspect you’re the type of mother who lets her children do whatever they want, whenever and wherever they want, without regard to other people, because Children are the Most Important Thing, and telling them “no” might damage their self-esteem.

14

I don’t know of any pregnant women who feel a sense of entitlement. In my experience, they’re just appreciative of people giving them a break once in a while. I just don’t see them “expecting” it. Walmart has done it’s part in making it *look * like they expect it (with those stupid parking spots), but I find it hard to believe pregnant women asked for that silly perk.

15

And there’s the assumption of entitlement again. Not catering to a pregnant woman’s every wish is “punishing” her. :dubious:

16

Sure, and I’ve got no problem with that. You need to sit down, then ask! I’m sure someone will be happy to oblige. It’s the idea that just because someone is pregnant they are automatically entitled to a seat (and the implication that anyone who doesn’t immediately jump up and offer one is rude) that really grates me. I’ll offer a seat to anyone who looks like they really need it, but I tend not to automatically equate pregnant with frail or in need of special treatment.

Women have been having babies forever. If standing up for a bit were that much of a hardship on a pregnant woman, you’d think we would have gone extinct long ago. Obviously there are exceptions to every rule, ymmv, etc. ad nauseum.

17

Um. Did you read the same thread I did? The entire premise of that thread was based on whether a pregnant woman should be able to expect to have a seat offered to her. It was called " Should a pregnant woman be given a seat on a crowded train?", and one of the main questions in the post was “Am I temporarily entitled to the handicapped/elderly seats, if no one worse off than me needs them?” and everything. :dubious:

18

I don’t get it. I never *expected * anyone to give me their seat when I was pregnant, but if someone was nice enough to offer, I gladly took it.

I never said I deserved MORE respect…but I certainly don’t deserve LESS, which is what is implied when people use a term like “breeder” in a derogatory way.

19

Sounds fine to me, as long as that division continues as they grow up. You don’t have to look at them or deal with them when they’re growing up, I don’t see any reason you should benefit once they’ve turned into real people.

In other words, your world sounds perfect to me. In 30 years you won’t have to deal with the burden of being treated by them, having anything repaired by them, wearing or using anything built by them…

As a note, as with every other stupid goddamned fucking thread about this kind of thing, I’m pretty sure you’re not going to find any parents on this message board who think LETTING A CHILD SCREAM IN A RESTAURANT FOR 15 MINUTES IS A GOOD IDEA.

20

Plus, there are different kinds of pregnant women. If I saw a pregnant woman huffing and puffing, leaning against a wall, struggling with toddlers or what have you, I’d offer a seat. If you’re standing there content and not looking distressed, I wouldn’t offer the seat. It’s not about being pregnant…it’s about offering the seat to someone in need.

I was extremely low-maintenance. I didn’t gain much weight. I didn’t have swollen ankles. I didn’t have morning sickness. I felt great the entire time with the exception of tiredness very early on (and one fainting spell). Not everyone needs to be treated differently just because they’re pregnant. But I think the ones who DO are easily spotted in a crowd.