Not that Qadgop needs my help, but as a man who has had a vasectomy, I can confirm what he said, at least in my case – these are myths about vasectomy that simply aren’t true.
It’s been about two years for me, and I’ve experienced no changes in… performance of the organs in question, other than the fact that I’m now shooting blanks, as it were. No problems getting or keeping an erection, and sex is as satisfying as it ever was… more, in some ways.
I’ll also add that I got the vasectomy specifically because it was the safest and least invasive of any of the sterilization procedures available to my wife and I… plus she had had our three children, it was the least I could do to go under the knife! 
But seriously, the procedure itself took about 30 minutes, I felt no pain during or afterwards, and it didn’t even leave a noticable scar. Also, if you guys have insurance, many insurance companies are quite willing to pay for a vasectomy 100%.
I guess I’m basically saying that your guy, CG, is being a bit selfish in requiring you to get sterilized so he can maintain his “manhood.” I believe he would find it easier than you, both in terms of finding a doctor who will do the operation for him and the procedure itself. I’m not saying you should force it on him, but if he really doesn’t want kids, then I strongly recommend he buck up and take this one for the both of you. It could save you both a lot of frustration/trouble, and his manhood is in no way at risk.
As to the issue of the OP, I pretty much agree with what Manda JO has been saying throughout the thread, and I have little to add to it.
As Dr.J has said, this has been a big bone of contention in our house for a long time. The more I see of other people’s children, the less I want any chance of ever having to put up with one of my own.
It’s damn near impossible to find anyone who’ll even think about sterilizing me, so I’m left to sort through various unsatisfactory types of birth control. Hormonal methods give me blood clot problems and could make me have a stroke, so those are all contraindicated. I’d trust FAM about as far as I could drop-kick my car, so that’s out of the question. And don’t even think of suggesting abstinence to a married couple.
That leaves me with the choices of an IUD or the various barrier methods. Barrier methods have a typical failure rate of about 10% or more, which is WAY too high for any sort of comfort level. That leaves with the IUD and all its side effects. Oh, goody, I get to live with the worsened menstrual cramps, not to mention the worry that this month is the month my cramps will push it out, or that today’s the day the damn thing will perforate my uterus, or that I have an ectopic pregnancy. Lucky, lucky me.
And with any form of birth control, there’s STILL the risk of a failure, where I have to choose between the hell of an unwanted pregnancy and the pain and guilt of an abortion. It’s not a decision I want to make, and it’s not a decision I should ever have to make.
If it weren’t so damned hard for me to get spayed, I wouldn’t be sitting here trying to decide which way I want to risk my health over the next ten years or so. It’s awfully easy to tell someone else to trust in modern birth control, but it’s a little different when it’s your own body being put at risk.
I_Dig_Bad_Boys, i’m sorry you feel i was exaggerating the risks, associated with hysterectomy. in fact i quoted the 1 in 2000 statistic directly from a medical malpractice case.
the doctor in question was sued by a woman when she lost the function of her kidney.
the doctor won the case on the basis that a 1 in 2000 risk is present, and that he committed no malpractice.
to those who feel i should not have suggested vasectomy as preferable, i apologise. but, in my defence, the OP was posted in the context that children were not wanted by both partners in the relationship.
i do understand that many women would only feel fully secure with a TL as well. and that is, of course your prerogative.
because sperm donation and freezing is significantly more successful than IVF, should future children be wanted, and because vasectomy IS a safer, cheaper and more reliable procedure than TL, i’m still going to say that if the OP and her partner don’t want kids, it’s probably the best way to go.
i wish you well in your search for a doc willing to carry out a TL, but i respectfully suggest you do more research on both male and female sterilisation, as you seem uninformed in some aspects.
i certainly do not belong to a group that wants to make you have kids!
Avalonian–he’s not forcing me to do anything. I just think I am the one with the stronger opinion that we should not have kids (mostly for genetic reasons but personal reasons as well) and since I am the one with the stronger desire to get ‘fixed’ I should be the one doing it.But that’s just me. I know it’s not right for everyone.
irishgirl I’m sorry I was disrespectful. Sometimes my enthusiam for getting sterilized takes over and I forget to think before I say (or in this case)type things. I apologize.
IDBB
Framing it in those terms makes a lot more sense to me, IDBB. In your second post on the thread, you had said:
That struck me pretty poorly, in that it seemed like bad reasoning on his part, and him “insisting” you get fixed when it’s more dangerous/invasive for you to do so is just bad mojo. I take it that was just bad wording then?
If you are indeed the one who has the stronger wish to be sterilized, then by all means, go for it!