I’m in a nice resort on a rainy Caribbean island at the moment and want to say hello to a nice young Russian couple that I met at this exact spot almost exactly 2 years ago. We agreed that we’d visit each other (me going to Russia and they coming to the US) within the next 12 months, but then COVID hit (the first big market crash literally occurred during my flight home), and our visits obviously never happened. But we have been whatsapp’ing and FaceTimimg regularly over the past 24 months. I probably haven’t gone more than a week without at least texting 1 of them. Now, since the Russian invasion of Ukraine, I haven’t heard from either of them nearly as frequently. I sent a note to the husband (he and I have a separate 1 on 1 chat) that I hoped his family was safe (his parents live in Ukraine- I’m not sure why), and he sent me this cryptic message back about how “powerful” Russia is, and “Ukraine doesn’t understand”.
So, anyway, I’m feeling somewhat nostalgic and want to FaceTime them, but am concerned that I might put them in danger, or somehow downgrade their quality,of life… They are young, but obviously very well off, considering that they were on their honeymoon when we met and stayed here for 3 weeks (which I estimate cost them at least $30k). The wife complained that the husband forced her to sell her red Mercedes convertible to be replaced by a white one (he didn’t think married women should drive red cars). I’m saying all this to consider the reality that they are likely the 1% of Russia. So my thought is that I shouldn’t reach out to them, but then i think that maybe they are embarrassed by their leader’s decisons, and that’s the reason for their sudden detachment.
Based on the one response, I’d say that they’re probably afraid that you’re going to be messaging them to spread anger and try to incite them into revolution.
In general, it’s a bad time. It’s like trying to have a nice happy conversation with someone on the eve of a serial killer murdering everyone in the house next door - and said killer left a weird tag on the yard out front of this house, too.
I’d probably suggest sending a bland email like, “Things are tense right now so I’ll just leave y’all alone. Hopefully, we’ll still be able to chat and eventually get together again, after this is all over.”
Text them, tell them where you are and that you are thinking of them, or whatever you would say in the absence of world events. See what happens. Be prepared for communications to drop off or stop. Don’t ask questions about anything at all related to you know what. Just be their friend.
I’m not sure those two statements reconcile for me. Personally? I’d shut up for the moment. Or, if I were to talk, as above, avoid world events, but I would leave things be for a spell.
Or someone who is paranoid about their communications being monitored, perhaps with good cause. Whatsapp should be encrypted but I don’t know how much I would trust that personally.
I don’t know; to me it’s kind of ambiguous. At no point is there actual support, but rather a statement of fact. I’d imagine it would be risky for him to mention anything that could even suggest being at odds with Putin. My hope is to deliver a messge that makes it clear that I, as their friend, do not associate them with their leadership in any way (just as I wouldn’t want to be associated with GWB or Trump).
FSB aside, it’s not really hyperbole to say that free speech is dead in Russia. While I’m sure it’s more of a broadcasting/publishing thing, it’s now up to 15 years in prison to say something against the invasion.
The standard joke is: a guy gets dumped into prison, and the guard asks him how long his term is. He replies, “15 years.” — “15 years! What did you do?” — “Nothing!” — “Liar!” says the guard, “For nothing they give only five years.”
For all you know communicating with them might be putting their lives in danger. I would cut off all communications until they reach out to you, which may never happen. Don’t take it personally.
That amount of wealth probably wasn’t from legitimate sources. Don’t contact them again and I’m not sure I’d continue the conversations further if they contacted me
Yeah, I read a lot of spy novels and have taken numerous anti money laundering classes but if it quacks like a duck….
Thanks everyone. After reading all the posts, I decided to stay silent. But just to be clear about the cryptic message, here is the exact discussion (I typically text more with the husband, since he speaks English while the wife doesn’t - she texts me in Russian, and the Google interpretation isn’t so great):
On 2/22, I wrote: I’m going back to (the resort) on March 4. You guys should come! (I knew full well that they wouldn’t as they had just completed a long vacation already)
He wrote back: I wish, but (wife) won’t let me.
Then on 2/25, I wrote; “How are you? I hope that the conflict in Ukraine is not affecting your family.”
His response: “Hey. I’m fine. Parents are in Ukraine, sitting at home. Of course, afraid.”
Me: “Yes, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope it ends soon.”
Him: “I think March 2. Ukraine is alone. Russia is very powerful, and they don’t want to understand this.”
That was the last contact we had. I’m 100% sure they both would have texted me before my trip and also would have asked for pictures from me by now, so it’s obvious they are not comfortable communicating with me.
Reminds me of my ex-wife, who is Russian and lives in Moscow with our 22-year old daughter. However…
My ex works as the secretary of the big boss of one of the Putinvisions in Russia (Mir TV). I talked to her some days ago, and she appeared gung-ho at the prospect of Ukraine being subjugated.
However, I have no idea whether that is her sincere belief or whether she fears for her livelihood and says what she “has to” in an open telephone line.
My daughter has double nationality (Spanish and Russian) and last time I talked to her she had been fired from her job, her SO had been arrested for taking part in an anti-war demonstration, and she told me that she felt “as if her life was over”. I don’t know if my ex feels scared because her daughter is not expressing proper opinions (and happens to have a passport of a NATO nation).
I don’t know what I can do, and getting her out is becoming more and more complicated. I managed to get some money over there just before the swift suspension, but… I don’t know what will happen after.