Ok, the backround.
I have been experiencing pain and more recently (a few days) shadowy areas in my vision. I made an appointment and seen the eye doctor(6/4/03), then got refered the same day to another eye doc/surgeon. Both docs agree that my eyes themselves are ok but are concerned about the nerves and more importantly my brain matter that lies behind my eyes. They remind me that my problems may still be very minor, a strained muscle or something that might clear up on its own, but I already have some vision loss “bi-nasaly” at the corners of my eyes near my nose (this to may clear up). The second doc makes an appointment for a MRI on my skull. Yikes!!
…Ok, now I am freaking out, but I keep my cool and come home and tell my live in GF.
I tell her all the details and about the MRI and understandably she is uspet and concerned. However, because I still don’t know how serious the condition is I ask her not to mention ANYTHING about it to anyone until i find out more from the MRI. After all I have not said anything to my family (600 and 1800 miles away). Nor have I said anyting to close friends etc…
Now the part where i should be pissed or not.
Later that day my GF is on the phone with a good friend of hers, “Kathy”. Kathy is not a gossip but I do live in a small town (pop. 3500) and word like this travels fast.
after getting off the phone with Kathy,…
my GF reveals that she told her the entire story.
Kathy’s hubby works in the same industry i do (steel design) so who knows who will find out, including my co-workers, bosses etc…
Am I being too sensitive or am I ok to believe that my medical conditions are my business until I decide to tell people about them?
p.s. For some reason in the small town i live everyone loves to chat about other peoples personal lives. “so and so started his own business, did you see his new car and all the remodeling he has done…blah blah blah”. “so and so has diabeties, and the way she drinks … blah blah blah…” “so and so left his wife for so and so, she is so nasty blah blah blah”. “so and so’s are building a new house, how can they afford that on their income blah blah blah…”
I don’t think its worth a long, drawn out fight…
…but you should approach her and ask why she found it necessary to tell Kathy when you specifically asked her not to say anything. Let her know that you’re disappointed, and it may affect what you chose to share w/ her in the future.
That should get the point across, I think.
joemama is rright; however, this could be a sign of larger problems. Can the girl keep a damn secret? Grrr.
:::TMI WARNING:::
drafty, do you have sinus issues at all? I had a shadow in my left eye that turned out to be a mucocele that was impacting my left ocular nerve. I saw an opthalmologist and a neurologist before they figured out what the problem was.
A mucocele is a balloon of flesh filled with mucus. I had one because my first sinus surgeon did not perform any follow-up; I had scarring that sealed a mucus membrane which continued to produce mucus. The second sinus surgery cleared it up.
I hope everything turns out okay for you; you’re in my thoughts and prayers. 
I agree with joemama. Because of reprecussions with your work, your asking her to keep silent was important. Maybe she didn’t understand this. Don’t just get mad, talk to her.
UPDATE.
back from MRI. these are not fun but i did ok. 1 hour in the tube!
Joemama and Ellen Cherry
yep, thats where im at with this too. I’m pissed but I am over it. I told her so and her excuse was she needed a freind to confide in. I’d rather she waited but… thats water under the bridge now.
Also I phoned “kathy” and asked her to be descrete about the situation, explaining the family, and bosses and all. She understood and sincerely wished me well. I thanked her for being a good friend to GF as one she could count on in times of crisis.
I did however phone kathy without telling GF. I was as polite as possible and tried not to come across accusational about the gossip part.
-GAZELLE, yes doc no.1 did mention mucus sack business. I however never had sinus problems. Hopefully it will be someting easy to fix. Doc no.1 also mentioned that because blurryness and vision loss was in both eyes, that it would be somewhere back in the brain where both optic nerves cross (left nerve goes to right side, and right goes to left.) The diagram he showed me looked like something you show to an elementary kid so im not sure how far back the nerves actually cross, could be near the sinus cavity i guess.
If it makes you mad, then you have a right to be. Should shouldn’t have told PERIOD. The fact that you live in a small gossipy town, et. doesn’t help.
On the other hand, some people need to communicate there concerns with a neutral party as a sounding board or whatever. She could’ve asked if she could tell this one freind of hers though. I think you should forgive her, I am sure she feels bad. If she can’t see or admit that you have a right to be angry, that’ can be frustrating.
drafty_de, sounds like you’re handling the situation quite well. I wish you good health.
let me finish that hijack…
I know a joemama in the Tampa Bay area. I recall in a recent thread that you just moved. Did you move from Tarpon Springs? Just wondering if you’re the same joemama/hijack]
Hi earthpuppy,
I lived in St. Pete for 4 years before moving to Clearwater, so its prob not me you’re thinking of.
There’s 2 joemamas? Lol.
Pit me for this if you want, ladies, but in my experience 80% of women tell everything to a friend. Women don’t understand why guys want certain things kept secret, especially if it’s related to a man’s status at work.
As the others said, don’t dwell on the anger, but make your wishes clear. My prediction is that this will happen again, and you will have to explain what you want again (and maybe again), but one day she will get it.
I hope you’re well.