I’m thinking about vasectomies. Well, not in general. I mean, I’m not imagining a line of guys getting themselves snipped. I mean for me. I’m seriously considering getting a vasectomy. I’m almost 30 years old. I don’t have any kids. I don’t want any. I want to be selfish in my life (and marriage, should I ever get married). I realized several years ago that I didn’t want to procreate. Nothing against children, mind you. I just like the thought of being able to go home to my wife and not have to worry about young 'uns.
So…
Guys that have been vasectomized (I’m assuming voluntarily), do you regret having had it done?
Women…what are your thoughts on a single guy getting himself neutered?
Just my personal experience here - my brother, who had three children by different mothers in three years, went to his doctor and requested a vasectomy, and they would not do it. They flat out told him he was too young. Now, he was a bit younger than you are, but you may find this to be the case if you try, too.
As far as my opinion on this goes, I do not think anyone who doesn’t want children should have them, period. I suppose some might say “Yeah, but if you find the right woman, you may change your mind and then you’ll regret it” which is a possibility, but that’s a chance you take. If you’re pretty sure you don’t want kids, I’d strongly recommend preventing that from happening in whatever way you can.
I had my vasectomy over two years ago, and I think it is great.
No need to worry over broken condoms, forgotten pills, etc.
Do not count on it being reversed if you change your mind, sometimes it can, sometimes it cannot. Make sure it is something that you want 100% before you do it.
It does not relieve you of having to wear condoms (std’s), but it does you relieve you of the possibility of being tricked or trapped into paying child support for 18 years.
Also, it does NOT affect performance in any way. My HMO paid for mine, and I was able to have sex 4 days later.
my partner had a vasectomy last year. he walked into the doctors office, told him he was 32, didnt have kids, didnt want kids, had a partner who didnt want kids and can i have vasectomy please.
a week later he was snipped and lying on his back in pain, but happy. the doctor didnt even bother trying to convince him hed change his mind, or regret it, or refuse to operate as we had feared, thanks to horror stories from others who had tried to get either a vasectomy or a tubal ligation.
mind you this is NZ, and the population isnt as sue happy as say the states, and you generally cant sue your doctor for doing an op you asked for then regretted a few years down the line.
my partner has only been fixed a year, but so far no regrets. from a females point of view, if i was single a guy being snipped would be a big point in their favour if i was doing the whole dating thing.
If you feel comfortable in going through with it at 30, I’d say go for it. If you can find a doctor to do it.
I’m 28, pretty sure I don’t want kids, but perhaps not certain enough to sterilize myself - yet. I’m not sure I want to go out of my way to do that at this point.
If it seems unlikely you’ll change your mind, I don’t see why not. And if you decide to have children later, there’s always adoption. Sure, they’re not from your loins, but they are children to be loved just the same.
And since I’m in the “I don’t want kids” camp too, I’ll spare you the lecture about being real sure. Obviously I think you have enough sense to do this only when you’re certain you’re ready for it.
When my dad had one 25-odd years ago, the only thing the doctor asked was “Why do you want one?”. Dad replied that he had two kids and didn’t want any more. The doctor did the snip. My mum seems to think that maybe if he’d said “Because my wife doesn’t want any more kids” the doctor might not have been as willing.
But times change, and I think nowadays most doctors would mind their own business about your reasons.
BTW, Dad said it was the best thing he’s ever done. Even more than 20 years ago, it didn’t involve more than a day in hospital.
The question I would ask is what happens if you meet someone who is the person of your dreams and who also wants kids desperately. Is there any chance whatsoever that you would have kids for your hypothetical partner?
I’ll be honest and say that I don’t think it is a good idea for people who are relatively young and who are not partnered permanently and who might consider having kids with a partner who wanted them. If a person knows that their desire for no kids outweighs any putative relationships and there’s no way they could ever regret a permanent sterilisation, then well, OK. Vasectomy is a permanent irreversible decision (while there are some successful reversals you cannot count on being that lucky).
For me, while I was uncertain about having kids, there was no way I would have formed a permanent relationship with a vasectomised man because I wanted to keep my options open.
You could go to a sperm bank, make a few deposits and let it sit there just in case you changed your mind (or in case the future Mrs. Superdude declared that she would just die unless she had your baby).
No idea how much it costs to store sperm indefinitely, though.
I"'m 40. single and got cut 4 years ago. I was in a relationship then with a woman who didn’t want kids. I’d never wanted them so the vascectomy was a relief to both of us.
If you are sure you don’t want kids, go for it. It makes sex a whole lot better, because you don’t have to worry about having kids. You are at an age where single women mostly have kids, so wanting more is a different issue than when you’re twenty.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this idea.
I think most 30 year olds have a pretty good idea of what they want out of life, so if you’ve been thinking about this for a while, I would be surprised if you had a dramatic change of mind. Since most women aren’t eager to try to have kids after age 35 anyway (for health reasons if nothing else), it’s not like you have that much time left to change your mind anyway.
By most accounts vasectomy isn’t as painful or risky as having a tubal ligation, so I think it’s wonderful when men are willing to do it instead of selfishly expecting their partner to undergo a much more major operation. Not that there’s anything wrong with a woman opting for a tubal; it’s just that I think any guy who would expect his wife to do it just because he’s scared of having anyone touch his testicles is being selfish.
I find it ridiculous that so many people are discouraged from being sterilized until they’re almost at the age where it’s nearly a moot point anyway.
I mean, the whole point of having a sterilization is to avoid the inconvenience and risk of less reliable methods, so why not get it at an age where you can fully benefit from it?
If you want to keep your options open, store some sperm at a sperm bank. But, really, I don’t think it should matter that much. If you do ever fall in love with a woman who is desperate to have a biological child, it’s not that hard to find a sperm donor.
I myself intend to adopt a child, so I think it’s a great idea for anyone who wants children, not just for those who are infertile due to health problems.
But if you don’t really want kids, a woman who wants to raise a house full of children probably is not going to be your “dream woman”.
Here’s another advantage of “Getting yourself fixed:” if you ever get incarcerated in an animal shelter, you will be less expensive to adopt, since you’ve already had the operation.
That will give you a better chance of getting adopted and less chance of being put to sleep.
