I know this is a zombie, but another perspective: my husband is dyslexic, and his major problem is phonemes. Translation for real world: he don’t process word sounds so good.
He likes some seriously heavy music, and there were some death-metal groups in there when I first met him. I was kindof skeeved out, but when I showed him a lyrics page, he was absolutely flabbergasted. I don’t remember which group it was, but there was one in particular that he actually stopped listening to once I showed him what exactly they were… um, singing… screaming… growling… whatever about.
For the others, he just doesn’t want to know - he likes the angry beat and the screaming and the guitars and the bass. He doesn’t understand the words, and doesn’t really want to. He was thrilled when he found instrumental-only metal.
I know this is a zombie, but when I was a kid, my parents let me listen to whatever the hell I wanted. As long as I paid for it, it was my money and I could do what I wanted with it. I turned out OK. Their only condition was that I listen to it in my room and not blast the volume all the way up. They weren’t fans of rock music, but only because their generation listened to a different type of music. It just wasn’t their cup of tea. They certainly didn’t disapprove of rock but just weren’t interested in it. I didn’t listen to anything harsh. It was mostly mainstream like Elton John and Three Dog Night. But they wouldn’t have cared if it were Black Sabbath or Alice Cooper, either. They trusted me enough to make my own decisions and to make good ones. I didn’t rebel against them or argue with them and turned out fine.
Is the OP still around? I wanna hear how the kid’s music taste has changed in the past two years. Was it all a fad? Is he into Dylan these days? Bach, Beethoven? Nickelback? Or did he move on to harsher types of metal – death metal, war metal, bestial black metal, anything like that? Does he wear spikes, bullet belts and jeans vests covered in band patches? He doesn’t sacrifice goats, does he? Or does he?
I think the onus is on you to explain why he SHOULDN’T listen to metal, not why he needs to prove to you that he should. Dragonforce is very tame and has lyrics about…fighting dragons and stuff, what could possibly be wrong with it?
I admire your decision to keep him from listening to explicit lyrics (though I don’t agree, I’m also not a parent anyway), but I don’t see why “metal” should be any more deserving of parental censorship than any other form of music. Is Johnny Cash saying he shot a man in Reno just to watch him die okay? Metal can be either the tamest thing in the world (pretty much dragon force) or pretty disturbing and understandably possibly not apropriate for kids (my favorite metal band, Mayhem supported church burnings in Norway and possibly took part in some…)
It’s up to you to define WHY you don’t want your son to listen to metal, and then actually go on youtube maybe and see if those songs meet your criteria. Why does gravelly voices or screaming offend you? The chances are your son probably has no idea what those lyrics mean or doesn’t care what they’re actually saying anyhow. Banning all metal bands because of your prejudice is overkill and if I was a kid I would lose a lot of respect for my parents if they did a blanket ban over my music just because they don’t understand it. The kid gets good grades, leave him alone.
I got hooked on heavy metal when I was about 13 and I’ve been there since. I’m now 40 btw.
And All That Remains is one of my favorites.
Productive member of society here - full time professional, 2 kids, wife stays at home, I’m the sole supporter, own a house, two cars, debt free except the mortgage, yada yada.
Do you honestly believe that music will have a greater influence on your kids than you?
Old thread…
My husband does not drink, do drugs or even raise his voice. He is respected in his work, very charitable etc… He listened to metal. We also have friends that are total losers that listened to the Carpenters. It really depends on the kid listening.
Holy shit, I hadn’t realised that was an actual issue with a name. I can’t understand the lyrics of any song if I hear it, and I have trouble understanding what people say unless I think about it, despite having great hearing.
Is there any chance you can start a thread about phonemes?
Yes. I’m surprised. This never used to happen when I was a kid and my parents never had this problem when they were kids. Something’s happening in the world…
Hell, I used to be a metal head myself, back in the 1985-1996 era. Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, Napalm Death, Sepultura, Carcass, etc… I was also an Eagle Scout, football player and had short hair. That last part is the really shocking part if you knew what metalheads of the time typically looked like.
My buddy, who was actually more into the death metal than me, was even the lead guitarist for a death metal band of some tiny repute back then.
These days, we both have college degrees, he’s planning to get a Master’s, I got mine, and we’re both healthy, well adjusted IT pros. I’m married and have a toddler, and he got out of the Army, having been commissioned and done a tour in Iraq.
Middle and high school music tastes are as silly to get worked up about as violence in video games; if you’ve taught your child right, he’ll know right from wrong, regardless of what’s going on in the music or game.
Nope – he’s still a good kid at 15 years old. He’s in all honors-level classes with mostly A’s and a few B’s. Dresses normally with short hair; often wears metal band T-shirts to school. Working toward Eagle Scout in Boy Scouts. Wants to be an engineer or an architect.
We never banned any music outright for him. His favorite bands are:
[ul]
[li]Disturbed[/li][li]Avenged Sevenfold[/li][li]A Day to Remember[/li][li]Bring Me the Horizon[/li][li]Rise Against[/li][li]Killswitch Engaged[/li][/ul]
I was a little concerned when he took an interest in the group “Rise Against” (because it sounded like a white-supremacist group), but I didn’t find anything online to support that concern.
My parents felt exactly the same way, but they were appalled at Chubby Checker, Elvis, and the Beatles. In 40 years, your kids will have new groups to despise as heavy metal will have become The Oldies.
Awesome! Glad to hear it, though I was never really worried – I’ve listened to extreme metal all my life, and I wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Oh, and Rise Against are perfectly innocent, so no worries there, either!
If you don’t want him to listen to any white-supremacist groups, keep an eye out for the following bands: Burzum, Absurd, Graveland, Arghoslent, Grand Belial’s Key, Spear of Longinus and the whole Blazebirth Hall gang.
It looks like no one pointed this out the first time the thread was active, so I wanted to mention that the presence – or absence – of a “Parental Advisory” sticker doesn’t really tell you much about the content. Whether or not a CD receives the sticker is totally up to the record label, it is not regulated by any agency and there is no formal list of rules for what gets stickered and what doesn’t.
The “Explicit” label on iTunes tracks seems to mean only that there are “bad words” in the lyrics; as far as I can tell a song with lyrics that are sexually explicit, violent, etc., but without any naughty words do not get this label. For instance, the unedited version of Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” is marked as explicit, presumably because she sings “I’m a free bitch, baby”. Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night” is not marked as explicit, but I personally would be more concerned about my (hypothetical) 13 year old listening to a song that glamorizes drinking until you black out than I would about him or her hearing the word “bitch”.
