“What religion are you?”
“What do you think of all organized religions?”
“Who did you vote for?”
“How much money do you make?”
“So, genocide in Somalia, eh? About damned time.”
“How big is your husband’s penis?”
So many topics of conversation you could have started. 
(I actually sympathize with you, drpepper. It’s like when you’re trying to read on your lunch break, and some helpful soul comes and sits with you and expects you to talk with them instead of having a nice, enjoyable read.)
I hate that question because it’s not just a greeting like “what’s up?” “What’s up?” I can answer with “hey, how’s it going” and keep walking. “What’s new?” sounds like they want a conversation, and you can’t get out of it with a generic greeting.
This sounds great. I’m going to try this.
Good lord, people. Don’t you know that’s what they make weather for?
And sports? And tv?
With every “nothing,” you reinforce the fact that everything in life is old and stale, nothing but endless ennui to look forward to as we creep inexorably toward oblivion.
Is it any wonder he looks sad, Debbie Downer?
Jesus, just ask him what he wants.
Talk about what normal 20-something guys talk about. Drinking and fucking. Easy and instant convo!
Lakai, just turn into a news reporter. Grab a USA Today every morning, memorize the top stories, and you’re good to go.
Why do you hate talking to people?