Remember, you’re going to need a large group of sycophantic henchmen, myrmidons, lab technicians, stooges and dogsbodies to do the actual dirty work while you’re swannin’ round with the Evil Laughter bit. Let me know where to send my resume - I’m at liberty at the moment and have been told that I do a pretty good Peter Lorre impression.
Kim Jong Un could stay on as the dim witted assistant.
I love SDMB teamwork, Thank you:eek:
You also need a villainous calling card, a robust tan, and spinning tops of doom.
People just want to slip into stereotypes don’t they ?
You have a gift, use it in a NEW way.
Commit an act of incredible kindness one day, and one of total evil the next.
Repeat cycle randomnly.
That way when people see you turn up, they won’t know whether to laugh or cry,
(And they’ll thank you later for not letting them get bored.)
Also to prolong the suspense, when you do show up, keep your features immobile for a while and say nothing, and the WHAM!
I think the right path is to be a superhero with this name, and apply to present your world-shattering findings at a major scientific conference–maybe you’ve found free clean universal energy, or you’ve cured stupidity, or you can make cats act nice, or something similarly important.
But with that name they’ll never let you present. The fools! THE FOOLS!
You’ll go through a period of tearing out your hair and rending your lab coat and destroying your laboratory, but at some point during this rampage, you’ll start to laugh, and the laugh will grow louder and more maniacal, and you’ll realize that if they won’t let you save them, you’ll destroy them all. DESTROY THEM ALL!
And your quest is begun.
Anne! . . . ANNE NEVILLE! We found a name for your baby!
Wait isn’t she having a GIRL?
Thanks for the advice everyone. The support and encouragement from the evil genius community in particular has been really invaluable. Of course if I ever meet any of you, I’ll immediately have you liquidated. No room for competion in this game eh? 
You understand. Off to the bank now to see about a loan for an unstoppable super-weapon and an underground fortress (didn’t realise quite how expensive this was going to be, but it all adds up.) Wish me luck!
Um.
You should know that a lot of the rival evil genius stuff is for the consumption of the unwashed masses and their doltish protectors. Except for the time Red Death and The Xtinguisher got into a pushing fight over Miss Begotten at the Christmas party, we generally hang out peacefully.
We’re having a thing, like, Friday, at the bar where we hang, The Underground. Drop by, have a beer, meet the gang. It’s kind of a memorial party for Doctor Crater.
I think you’re just supposed to ask each Doper to contribute $30.
StG
Yeah, I am. I don’t think that name works for a girl, somehow…
I will be looking for an evil genius to apprentice her to in a few years, if all goes well.
First we have to bicker about how much he NEEDS it, or whether he just WANTS it. Are there pets involved?
I’m not really evil genius caliber, but I might be looking for a job as BOFH to an evil genius, in a year or so. I’d need to know about your daycare/apprenticeship program, and whether the tank for the sharks with laser beams on their heads and other lair paraphernalia is properly babyproofed. Cats in your lair is a huge plus for me.
Nah, evil mutant rabbits are pretty resilient.
Well…“von” is the Teutonic for “From…” so we’d just assume that’s a compliment :dubious: or excessive flattery :rolleyes: to the sire.
Hey I’m, uh…currently between gigs, lately…:o
I had something lined up for *replacement Sith *after Darth Maul’s untimely demise and I’ve got a great resume and experience. The problem was that I lost out during the reference check when one of the people I listed said, “Oh, yeah, I remember him. Nice chap!”:smack:
They just didn’t believe it was merely a turn-of-a-phrase 
and they said it looked like an accident when she crashed a couple weeks later. Of course! It was MADE to look like an accident! That’s how skillful I am!
Well…anyway…if you’re needing lothario services, you can find me passing through here once in a while.
—G!
I wonder what would have happened
If you were the killer
And I was the hero
Would things be the same
. --Jon Bon Jovi (solo)
. Blood Money
. Soundtrack to Young Guns II
I too vote for thinking outside the box. Grant people’s wishes, but do so in a way that actually ends up hurting them immensely (like those terrible wishmaster movies with the evil genie).
Somebody wishes for money? kill off someone who is related to them with an inheritance or life insurance money.
Somebody wishes for power? Make someone they love sick/injured so they can become power of attorney for them.
Somebody wishes for sex with a beautiful woman? Woman gives him crabs.
You get the idea.
I might stop by, but I really shouldn’t have alcohol. It always brings out the best in me. I got drunk a few weeks ago and I was a mess. Complementing peoples appearance, tollerating their opinions, I came across as quite likeable. I didn’t beat anyone up all night and I’m ashamed to say, towards the end of the evening some of my behaviour was borderline heroic. The first step is admitting you’ve got a problem. Never again.