Should non-religious people be vocal about their non-beliefs? To what extent?

In My Humble Opinion
1

As an atheist, I’m not sure what I should be doing, if anything, to let other people in on the way I see things. I made a thread not too long ago about a girl I was interested in who believed in god, which I admit bothered me. The problem was she had lost a sister, and was absolutely positive she would see her again. The good people of Straight Dope advised me that it would be wrong to try to impose my non-beliefs on her. After thinking about it, I understood why I would be a jackass for doing so. She was grieving, I wouldn’t be any better than those who try to preach to me in their ways of thinking, and I can’t really claim to know what happens to us when we die.

Why does it bother me? Well, no offence to the “believers” reading this; I think it’s just silly. I’m NOT a smart man, but I do take pride in not believing in what ‘I’ consider to be fairytales. I want to turn people on to the idea of there not being a god, or at least not a god that was conceived by man. It bothers me that homosexuals don’t have the same rights as the rest of us, which is one example how religion plays into our politics. Creationists, women’s rights…

In a recent trip down south, and I couldn’t help but think about how much controversy non-religious billboards get, while there are a lot of religious billboards up that don’t cause people to get upset. I feel a little alone this time of year when I see people post on their facebook page; “Jesus is king!”

So I get a little annoyed. I’m sure most of you are aware of the Rally Of Reason this year in DC. I wish I could have been a part of that. Do Rally’s really do anything?

But what can/should I do about it? I really feel that being a non-believer is the way to go… not just for me. Should I just be honest about who I am, and let people believe in what I consider to be a false reality? Should I debate people who believe if they lead me to debating?

My last girlfriend is non-religious partly because of me. I shouldn’t expect that from just anyone I get into a spirited discussion with about the matter. I’m just confused and lonely… and a little mad. What do I do with, what I think is, this knowledge? I don’t want to hurt anyone, like the girl that wants to see her sister again. I just want more people to think critically.

Sorry, I have a tough time expressing myself by typing, I don’t even know if I like the title of this thread. And I’m a bit scattered in being decisive about what advice I’m looking for here. I’ve wanted to make this thread for a while. I even wrote out a first copy and erased it all.

I just know it’s something I want to talk about and get advice on.

2

Atheists have little reason to preach or witness. But I don’t see any reason to keep quiet that I think religion is full of nonsense. I try not to work it into unrelated conversations, or launch into invective at the slightest “bless you,” but I don’t find myself particularly constrained. Though sometimes I do just grin and bear it because it gets a little tiring. Example: I was at work, and found out someone was Catholic. This started a few others to profess their Catholicism and my boss asked me what I believed, and I said “Nothing, I’m an atheist.” “Well, yes,” she said, “I know you don’t believe in god, but surely you believe in something.” Perfect opportunity to launch into involuntarily-practiced arguments against this kind of shit, but instead I just said, “Yeah, well, I believe in something…” and that let the conversation move back to the efficacy of our company’s toaster on bagels or whatever. I’ve had this conversation enough times that it is just boring and never even leads anywhere interesting.

3

My rule of thumb-- don’t engage unless asked to do so. Religious people aren’t receptive to proselytizing from non-believes. But if someone asks my opinion or what my beliefs (or nonbeliefs) are, I’m happy to tell them. If they want to debate, I will. But I won’t initiate a debate. Too much a waste of time.

4

If someone is actively trying to convert you–like asking you if you’re saved and why the hell not?!–then etiquette is thrown out of the window. A guy once came up to me and started talking to me in just this manner. I was polite at first, half-listening to what he had to say. But when he started into the “Can’t you see that this is proof that God loves you?!!” stuff, I couldn’t hold my tongue. I told him exactly why I thought he was full of shit and why I wanted him to leave me alone. He probably thought I had a demon in me, but he left me alone.

But it is impolite–no matter where your spiritual compass lies–to start harping on about your religious/anti-religious opinions in an unsolicited way. Engaging in a religious discussion where everyone wants to participate is fine. But outside of that, it’s not appropriate. And also, being nice is often better than being “right.” Pick your battles. If someone says to you, “I’ll pray for you”, it will not kill you to just smile and say thanks. If they go any further with that, like saying they’re afraid for you because you most surely are going to hell (as some dumb bent in my office once told me), then that’s when you can let loose. But chances are, someone that stupid isn’t going to respond well to your opposing view, so measure what you say against the time you will waste.

5

What rallies do is make people like you and me aware that there are lots more people out there that think like we do. I don’t think it’s realistic to try and force people in your day to day life to change their minds about religion (or even what their favorite color is), but it is realistic and important to stand up for what you think is true when you get a chance to express it in a positive way. Especially if lots and lots of other people will see you do it.

6

I have only recently come out as an Atheist publicly, and yes tons of abuse and prayers were sent my way. Some of my relations still send me Bible verses and the like, in particular I find galling the often expressed belief that I as an Atheist have no morals as if only their god can hand them out. But as the other posters have said I try not to go around and piss people off and don’t try to initiate debates, except on FB if they don’t like it they can un-friend you. My favorite “There is no DOG but DOG” but this has a tendency to piss people off

7

You said

and then

Freedom of speech is a two way street. If you feel you need to make that fight you can post stuff on your FB page too. Go for it but this also goes for the believers too. Be prepared that you are asking for a fight. You will loose friends, people will get angry. Be informed and ready to make a defense for your point of view. On the flip side you may also make some nice friends. :smiling_face:

8

I don’t bring it up unless asked in conversation. But I don’t shy away from it.

I post atheist videos on FB if they’re well done. Certainly an atheist shouldn’t have to be any more quiet than a Christian.

Edit: I should add, that I do bring it up if someone makes a factual assertion that has import. “God will see us through this.” No, we actually have to plan.

9

I post things on FB, I try to find non-offencive things to say like; “An intelligent person does not need the promise of heaven to see the merit in good deeds” The most “offensive” thing I have is; “Religion is like history class without the facts”.

10

You have the same desire to “educate” believers about your non-beliefs. Both are offensive to me when not requested.

In my world, I listen respectfully when my friends do the whole “christ is king” nonsense because Easter and Christmas are two holidays that my christian friends celebrate and it’s not a personal effort to convert me. As an atheist, I don’t have a comparable holiday to proclaim that I think they are idiots but I certainly am not going to force my beliefs on them unsolicited.

11

Well I think you pretty much answered your question right there. Fighting fire with fire isn’t going to help anyone. Sure you can express your beliefs but don’t be like the very people who annoy you and try “converting” people. What they think is right or wrong is their decision, not yours. You can’t control anyone but yourself.

I would say let people believe what the want to when it comes to religion. Many Christians are tolerant of Atheists and yet believe just as strongly in their beliefs as you do yours. Why shouldn’t you be? If challenged to religious debate I’d say you’re completely within your power to debate back, but I wouldn’t initiate it yourself.

My best advice would be to try looking past people’s religious believes and stop thinking of people as either theists or atheists. There’s much more to a person than their beliefs in God. Also, as you said you can’t claim to know what happens after a person dies, so the sooner you stop believing your opinion is fact, the easier it is to accept other people’s beliefs.

And if it helps, I’d say the majority of people honestly don’t really care to think much about religion, theists and atheists alike. The Richard Dawkins and Rick Santorums of the world are the loud minority, the world is not so black and white. You can debate people about religion 'til the cows come home, but a lot of the time a person’s true opinion, whether they say it or not, will be “I don’t care.”

EDIT: And if it means anything, I consider myself agnostic

12

I never bring religion or lack of it up, but when asked, I certainly don’t lie. I have been getting a lot of Happy Easters and one or two Happy Passovers this week, and I smile and say, “thanks, you too!”

But when asked “What are you doing for Easter/Passover?” I say, lightly, “Oh, nothing, I don’t believe in religion.”

13

Discussions about religion (or politics) with relatives, friends, and significant others are bound to cause trouble. So don’t bring it up, and if it is brought up then make your stance, and your unwillingness to change that stance, clear and move on.
However I think it’s important to distinguish between voicing your opinions to those you personally know, and strangers who are just too insistent. For instance if a stranger walked up to me and started to force their beliefs on me I would return with my own at an equal level. Or perhaps if I saw one of those repent signs I might be tempted to put up one of my own right next to it.

14

I work a lot and have a lot more customers than friends so religion doesn’t really come up. If someone asks what I’m doing for easter I tell them; I’m coloring eggs and making a nice dinner for my family and eating too much candy. None of those require or affirm religious affiliation. It’s a fun holiday when you take the zombie out of it, just like christmas. If a customer wants to pry into my private life or preach to me I generally say something like “I don’t normally talk about religion, a lot of people react negatively when you tell them you don’t believe in god.” If they want to press further I’ll follow up with some kind of non sequitur like “And I’m really happy for you. I can tell you really love your life” or “whatever makes you happy.” Of course if they’re not a customer I’ll politely tell them I’m not interested and if they persist I’ll tell them I’ve already tried to be polite about it, GFY.

15

I think bringing up the fact you don’t believe in God unsolicited when others are being churchy around you is like going to a dance club and complaining about the music while every one else is dancing and having a good time. Its pretty off putting and unnecessary. Who cares what you don’t like or beloved believe in? Nobody.

This coming from a card carrying agnostic by the way.

16

I believe in Facebook even less than I do in God, but it’s not worth my while to militate against either.

17

No, it’s like sitting on a nice quiet park bench nowhere near a dance club and reading a book, and a bunch of people gather around you with a loud radio and start dancing atop your bench.

Now if you go to a church and proclaim that you don’t believe in God, yeah . . .

18

I believe that actions speak louder than words, so I like Mark Twain’s advice:

“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”

19

Consider seeking out local Athiest/Freethinker groups. This can give you an outlet for your desire to educate and the organization will probably have opportunities for you to engage at community events and such.

20

Live and let live. Why do you care? Let people take comfort in their beliefs exactly as you take comfort in yours. And yes, atheism is a belief that is logically indistinguishable from any form of theism.

So, when you proselytize, you are no different than those with whom you don’t agree.