Things you can say to shut someone up as they stare at you confused…
My shoes aren’t wearing my socks right…
Hmmm, I seem to have left my pockets in my other pants…
Funny people always look at me…
Ouch! My heart keeps beating! I hate it when that happens…
Have you seen my mind? I left it around here somewhere…
Look! Dirt! We don’t get much of that 'round here…
I’m trying not to suffocate my eye. You have no idea how hard it is to go without blinking…
Anyone else?
how about-
I’m not ignoring you, you’re just insignificant.
try reciting the lyrics for “detatchable penis”.
You’ll never be bothered again.
How about my sig? 
I’m sorry I didn’t realize it, your is the first HUMAN voice I’ve heard in a long, long, time
while talking to shoulder
no I didn’t tell 'em. no I didn’t, that’s a lie, you heard what I said. no please no arrggh
Huh. Look at that. I’ve lost a buttonhole.
On second thought, that might get you hurt…
O
Has anyone seen my sex drive, I left it around here somewhere?? hmm?
I beg your pardon…it’s just that the voices in my head are a lot more interesting than what you’re saying.