Shut the fuck up about your fucking cats! I don't give a fuck!

My co-workers all talk about the cute things their dogs and their kids do all the time. I would retaliate with stories of the cute things my cat does, but he doesn’t do a damn thing, other than lay in the hallway or follow me wherever I go.

Don’t you feel kind of sorry for her, though? Cat stories? That’s what informs her life on a daily basis? That’s kind of sad.

I mean, I can see telling the occasional story about this adorable thing your pet did, but daily? Does she just watch the cats all day?

Maybe I’m underestimating the devotion of the average cat owner, but I’d think if you read an interesting book, or saw an interesting TV show or movie, or read the newspaper, or followed popular music or, say, posted to a message board. . . well, you’d have things to talk about other than your cats.

IMO, daily pet stories = get a life. Daily pet stories with an extra heapin’ helpin’ of “aren’t they the cutest snooglie-wooglies??” = get a life ASAP.

Now, let me tell you about this amazing thing my dog just did . . . .

Hmmmmm… kitty… the other white meat.

…and dare I ask, just how do you know it’s a “white meat” sailor? :dubious:

Come on, astro - of course a sailor would know about eating pussy :p:D

Hmmmmm maybe I should try to get the username Lioness back. :smiley:

Since you’re seen as a fellow cat owner and a member of her “club,” use this opportunity to pull her down into your nightmare world of the dark side fo cats. Talk about how you’ve been seeing slimy trails of cat feces on your kitchen floor lately. Talk about how you stepped on a hairball in the dark and it squished between your toes. Talk about the stench you’ve been unable to identify but finally found out what it was when you opened up an unused clothes hamper and discovered that your pwecious had been stockpiling all the mice she caught and how they rotted and putrefied.

When confronted daily with the unpleasant reality of her widdle Cuddles, Pwincess and Baby Kitten, she’ll be less inclined to talk to you.

I do this from time to time to uninterested parties, whose eyes eventually glaze over, and my wife has to kick me under the table to make me shut up.

And I know that I shouldn’t, because I feel the same way about people banging on about their babies: yes, I know little baby cutesypops is the biggest thing in your life, but they’re not even on the damn radar in mine. AND DON’T TELL ME ABOUT THE CONSISTENCY OF THEIR SHIT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YOU’RE MAKING ME FEEL SICK, AND ON TOP OF THAT I DON’T GIVE A FIDDLER’S FUCK.

This, of course, doesn’t apply to my nephews, who are gorgeous.

I’ve got a cute cat story for you. I had this little kitten. The cutest little kitten. Well, anyway, this kitten did tricks, and it was soooo cute. The kitty would fly through the air and stick on one of my friends. Of course, I would help it a bit.

I remember the time my kitty rolled on his back for me, and I scratched his belly. I was bloody, but it was sooo cute.

This kitty had no fear. He would hide behind things and attack you. Doing flying leaps. He decided to do moving vehicles. I miss my kitty.

I thought I’d make a cameo appearance in this thread. Hi cat lovers!:smiley:

Ok, now i’m out of here because cat threads can get very unstable very quickly.

Not my cats. They’re fixed.

There once was a Doper named Rooves
Who discovered discretion behooves
Any poster who’s mad
'Nuff to treat like a cad
Feline lovers – so ex-thread he moves.

:wink:

<— [shakes head, mutters]

BAXTER! It’s Baxter…

Ezell killed and brought me a rabbit the other day. :cool:

Cats R stupid.

“Thank you for dining at Wu Chow’s. Tonight’s specials are Sczechuan Orange Kitty, Spicy Double-Cooked Tabby, or Kung-Po Calico… all served over a bed of white rice.”

I’ll have you know that I have a cute widdle fuzzy-wuzzykins kitty-witty sweeping in my lap right now. And can I just TELL you how cute he just looked at me when I disturbed him with my chuckling?? :wink:

Kalhoun, do people swoop in to rescue the people you’re talking to by “reminding” them of that “thing” they “just have to do right away”? Are you aware of people making fun of you, and your reaction is to be thrilled because you’re the center of attention? If not, you’re not my reviled cow-orker.

The OP may benefit fromStrong Bad’s Methods for Dealing with the Office Dullard. On a more constructive bent, have you ever tried changing the conversation to something else when she talks about her cats? Maybe ask about her family or what’s good on TV or in the movies or something. 'Course, there’s not too much you can do for her in a professional environment.