Thought experiment: get a reasonably attractive male, and a reasonably attractive female. Have them approach random strangers of the opposite sex and ask them for no-strings sex.
What will the female’s success rate be? What will the male’s success rate be?
It’s not sexism to observe that men have, in general, greater upper-body strength than women do, and this observation is not negated by the many female weight-lifters you might personally know.
Equally, it’s not sexism to observe that when it comes to random propositions for anonymous sex, women will be much more successful seeking it from men than men will with women.
I just don’t see why she needs to be castigated or taken down a peg at all.
That isn’t sexist. What is sexist is to say that if a woman decides that she’ll have a lot of sex because she can that she’s slutty for giving in so easily. If men really have a problem with women giving in to sex so easily, they can just as readily just put the brakes on and not be willing to capitulate themselves.
Perhaps – it depends on what you view as the proper roles for men and women. Because men and women are different, a person can believe that they should respond differently without being internally inconsistent.
Note that this doesn’t mean they’re right, or that their logic can withstand any scrutiny at all; it simply means that having a double standard is not something ruled out by nature.
In any event, my comment was made merely to refute Eleanor Rigby’s. I take no position on the broader aspects of the debate.
Got it: sexually enthusiastic women are oppressed in our society. Argument; large empty space; barge pole; Slithy Tove, in that order.
Whereas, if a teenage boy had a list of girls, with acts he planned on doing to them, posted online, what could the reaction be?
a. “Go stud, go!”
b. “Dream on, loser.”
c. “We demand to know what is being done to protect our children from this predator!”
This was my take as well. People here seem to be acting like this is her “Boys I’ve Done” list when it seems to include elements of a wish-list as well. Who hasn’t mentally made a list of desired lovers and thought about what they’d like to do with them? Her big mistake isn’t that she wants more than one guy, it’s that she put it down on paper in an unsecured location. Although the dates she puts by some of the entries seem to indicate a somewhat serious ambition.
That said, I wish I’d been in a position to make such a list when I was a teen. Sigh.
I think someone did–I remember learning about it in psychology class in college.
Sure, but since we’re aware of why the double standard exists, why do we have to adhere to it? I just don’t see why we can’t just have proper roles for human beings.
One would hope the experiment could be broadened a bit to include number of orgasms achieved with said anonymous partners.
Agree with everything phouka said. Everyone’s on-board with sexual liberation and against playing games and wondering why their girlfriend has all these hang-ups, but ‘slut’ is still a go-to slur for girls and women (from other girls and women, though whether they take the cue from boys is up for debate). And what incredible bull about it being because women can find sexual partners more easily. Really? So all those girls pining away for boys who didn’t like them back in high school were delusional? Or does it just have to be sex with anyone, in which case boys can get it, too, if only they’d lower their standards as well.
And by this logic, women who can cum easily with a partner should get a slut-free pass, since theirs is such a rare situation. And obese or ‘conventionally’ unattractive women who manage to get laid a lot. And handsome men who have always had luck with women should be labeled sluts. And yet no one seems to be hating on George Clooney.
Anyway, it’s a shame for everyone. Boys who don’t want to fuck everything that moves and girls who do.
Yes, exactly. I don’t understand the necessity for a gender war here. I think it’s a sad commentary on the growing narcissism and aggressive retaliation that was discussed recently in some other thread. (Short summary: we have evidence that young people are becoming more narcissistic and more aggressive, with the aggressive behavior intensifying particularly in cases where they feel they have been wronged.)
What’s troubling about this situation is that a kid did a stupid thing, his brat sister tattled on him in true brat sister fashion, and rather than acknowledging that he was the dumbass hoarding beer, he blamed a) his parents and b) his sister. Then he committed an act of aggression vastly disproportional to the perceived wrong. His actions will have ramifications for his sister that can’t even begin to compare to the way her action affected his life. And he thinks he is totally justified in his response.
This is problematic, and also, I think, emblematic of a new social reality.
I don’t think she’s fallen at all. What I meant, and I can see how I wasn’t clear, was that teenagers are cruel mofos and if she is, in fact, engaging in those sorts of behaviors, it will get around quickly enough and she’ll destroy her reputation all on her own. If she’s not and it’s just a silly list then her reputation is destroyed without her having any fun. Either way, her brother’s a dick and a loser.
