Well, wouldn’t you be grossed out if bengangmo propositioned you?
Well, dang. I am disappointed.
3 pages of what someone did to rank out his sister, and no spinoff thread about ‘What kind of crap did you pull on your siblings while growing up?’
I sense much potential wasted!
What argument? No, seriously, what the hell are they arguing about? I lost the thread of it quite a few posts ago.
I don’t really see a difference. They both seem gross to me. (I.e., putting your finger in a cup of something gross vs. putting it inside you.) I suppose tasting something gross would be worse because well…you’re tasting it. This just seems like backwards rationalization to me–that is, society has a double standard, therefore there must be a good reason for it. Meh.
And as mhendo points out, why is sex equated with something gross?
Well I would like to point out for the record that I don’t find sex in anyway gross…but I don’t particularly relish the thought of stirring someone else’s porridge, and I think we have all heard the story about scabby sally.
It seems that I phrased what I wanted to say badly. I may be a little bit misogynist, but I kinda view sex through the window of
Guy = doer
Girl = done to
even if the lady is the one that initiates.
Having said this, I don’t think its ok for guys or girls to sleep around, and while I am not against casual sex per se, I do think sex requires more of a commitment from both parties than “I saw the partner in a bar and they were pretty”
I wish the young woman had thought to deflect this in her Facebook response. Maybe if she had said, “nice photoshop job there, loser” instead of “TAKE THIS DOWN RIGHT NOW” it would have saved her some grief.
Recognizing the fact is a start, at least. Although the “little bit” constitutes a somewhat modest self-assessment.
Could she ask FB to remove it?
But it’s a moot point now. What happens in cyberspace, stays in cyberspace. Forever. She’s learning that now.
The brother went too far posting the image of the list. He should have tried something similar but on a lower intensity. Like maybe PMing the guys on the list and telling them what it said instead of just tagging them.
From a viewpoint of pure evilness, though, the boys action was a masterpiece. You usually don’t see this level of nastiness outside of long, bitterly-contested divorces.
That’s not misogynist; it’s just old-fashioned. Or perhaps “technically correct” if your view of sex is strictly a vanilla penetrator/penetratee deal.
And I personally find the whole idea of lists (from either gender) disturbing because it’s too impersonal. I’m too wedded to the idea of sex being in the context of a relationship and find quick hookups unappealing, and the thought of breaking it down by individual act seems either far too callous or far too casual for my liking. But then I’m pretty old-fashioned too, in my way.
Which, in many contexts surrounding sex and gender relations, are almost indistinguishable from one another.
No, not even technically correct. Your assumption that penetrating means “doing to” and penetrated means “done” is, itself, a product of the same narrow silliness about what sex is. You claim, in your second paragraph, that sex should not be impersonal, and yet you are willing, for the sake of this part of the debate, to reduce it to the act of penetration, and to portray women as nothing but the passive recipient of man’s “doing.” Pretty inconsistent, don’t you think?
Thing is, the sister’s “list” is her fantasy. There is no evidence she was actually doing anything with anyone. Assuming this is real and not a hoax, the “list” looks like the sex fantasies of a young girl, not an actual ‘trophy list’. The issue of her sexual behaviour simply doesn’t arise, because it is all very hypothetical. She isn’t having promiscuous sex, she is merely fantasizing about it - something I’m reasonably certain every teenager does.
Would anyone here not have been totally humiliated to have one’s teen sex fantasies published for all the world to see? I certainly would have been, and I’m a guy.
Her mistake was to write them down.
The brother’s actions were beyond dispicable and the only excuse could be that he had no real idea how nasty a prank he was pulling.
I don’t agree.
It appears to me to be more of a “to do” plan than simply a fantasy, because of the details – specifically the “Deadline 4/2010” at the top, and the apparent checking off of completed tasks (the scratched-off items 2, 5, and 9, together with specific dates beside them). This reads like a systematic effort to complete the list.
It’s true that there is no direct evidence that she did anything, although the comments from the tagged Facebook participants do not reflect any particular disbelief at the reality of it. Obviously the whole thing could be a hoax. But taken at face value, it doesn’t read like simple never-to-be-consummated fantasy.
If she wasn’t doing anything with anyone, why the “he ate me out! Awesome!” update?
Seems more in the realm of fantasy to me. Inventing a list past sexual conquests is the sort of thing I can picture a teen doing very easily with a bunch of people she’s got the hots for, more so that actually recording a real list of sexual conquests. Assuming of course that it isn’t wholly a hoax.
As RNATB aptly observes:
Obviously we’re speculating. To me, it reads as real. If the girl was fabricating, she has the misfortune of fabricating in a very realistic fashion.
Why write up such a list at all? Who is the intended audience?
It is clear (again assuming no hoax) that it was some sort of ego-gratification involved. Though there is no proof one way or another, people who have real exploits are less likely to need “props” such as this list to gratify themselves.
I am going to go out on a limb here and assume that the exploits in question were not particularly gratifying.
Just to clarify, you think it’s more likely that she wrote up a list of people she would like to participate in various sexual activities with wholly as a fantasy, even though she went so far as to annotate that list to reflect imaginary or actual exploits?
Yes, exactly.
Put yourself in her position. She’s allegedly a teenage girl, supposedly growing up in a household we have been told is terribly restrictive.
Which is more likely - that she’s actually having lots of sexual encounters, and sets out to cooly list them (carefully keeping and updating the list accurately), or that she has an active fantasy life and her idea of fun is creating props like this?
Absent evidence, there is no reason to assume she’s telling the truth on a list she made, apparently, for her own benefit. Of course she may be, but far more likely she isn’t.
I could see that, Malthus. I mean, look at the types of people who get their panties in a twist over “hit lists” or violent short stories that teens write–and none of that is true either. Well, not usually.