Ken Cuccinelli is the Attorney General for the Commonwealth of Virginia. The AG’s job is to be the top cop and people’s lawyer. He is the last, best defender of the citizenry. He bravely stands between us and tyranny. He boldly represents the rule of law.
One of his first noble undertakings upon taking office earlier this year was to advise state colleges and universities they lack the legal authority to protect gay employees from discrimination. Boom! Rule of law baby! I, for one, was glad to see the homo-tyranny in art and theater departments across the state come to an end. There is only so much “jazz hands” our fragile educational system can take, and if we ever want to see the Southpark Movie adapted for the stage, its going to take someone straight to do it!
But this week he took another courageous stand. He protected us from the dreaded “Bosom of Virtus”. Lest you think this is some metaphorical threat, I am here to tell you this is a real bosom. Or half of a bosom. It has been mocking us for decades above the noble words of our state motto, “Sic Semper Tyrannis (Thus Always to Tyrants)” on our state seal and flag. Nothing is more dangerous to the Commonwealth than the left tit of a Roman demi-god. This nefarious image has permeated our culture and it is about time someone has stepped in to end it. Attorney General Cuccinelli has provided us with a new seal in which the offending boob is covered.
This is personal to me. I must admit I have had a “problem” with the state seal all of my life. As a young man of 16, I remember getting a glimpse of the state flag while driving by State Police Headquarter on Route One. I rushed home and while I won’t tell you what happened when I got there, my vision soon started to fail and I needed glasses within a year.
Once, my mother found a state flag under my mattress. I was so ashamed.
Recently I took my family to one of the many wonderful state parks in the western part of the state. When we entered the park we were greeted by a lovely young lady who was a park ranger. She welcomed us and answered our questions. I was barely paying any attention, and she finally said, “Sir, my eyes are up HERE!”. I had been staring lustily at the state seal on her shoulder. It was an awkward moment for everyone.
So now another threat has been eliminated. I hope localities pick up the mantle and carry it forward. These are desperate times. Can we really risk the continued existence of “Licking Hole Road” (real road - and possible band name!) in Hanover County? Will we continue to tolerate “Bumpass, VA”? Ken Cuccinelli, we turn our hopeful eyes to you.
Maybe he should just replace her image with that of a wild-haired mustachioed actor with a dagger in one hand and a pistol in the other, standing triumphantly over the prostrate form of a bearded gentleman with a bullet in his brain…
It’s not like we got any real legal priorities here in the Commonwealth.
The Attorney General doesn’t have the authority to do any of the things Da Cooch wants to do. He cannot rewrite university admission rules, nor bring suit against gays to keep them from applying. He isn’t given authority over the Seal, or Flag of the Commonwealth. Pesky legislature is the only ones who get that power from that darned Constitution.
Too bad he never studied law, or anything like that. He might have known about it.
Isn’t he supposed to be a pro-respect-for-the-flag type guy? Isn’t he against flag burning? How in the hell does he think he can deface the flag/seal because of some personal determination he’s made – that’s pretty much flat-out admitting that other flag defacers are right, unless he’s claiming that he has supernatural power.
The attitude is infuriating; the action itself is comical.
Someone needs to tell him that when the wind is just right, the flag becomes like one of those fold out pages in the back of MAD magazine. Then the state motto says Sic Sem penis.
This must be corrected immediately. Think of the children!
I truly don’t understand this sort of thing. I didn’t get it when Ashcroft did it, and I don’t now. I mean, does this man truly believe that an exposed breast in any context is offensive? Is he that cut off from the Western world’s artistic traditions?
Nudity aside, that is one of the cooler state seals I’ve seen. Vermont’s looks like they tried to cram in an advertisement for every single agricultural product produced anywhere in the state. I’d much rather some naked chick stabbin’ a dude.
I actually have no problem wit them covering her breast - just use the same seal with a covered breast. In his version, the tyrant is getting back up - and he appears to be looking up her skirt.
I prefer the version where Virtue has clearly won the fight.
on the top of the New Jersey state seal (and on the State Flag) we have a horse’s head.
To remind people of the part the Mob has played in NJ history http://www.njleg.state.nj.us/kids/seal.asp
Somewhere in this mess there has to be room for compromise. Maybe Cuccinelli could work out a power sharing arrangement with the Sexual Libertine Party, where they could run unopposed every other election and Lady Virtus could go around topless.
