[QUOTE=OneCentStamp]
Any discernible wood? That’s often a good sign.
[/QUOTE]
Doesn’t matter. His MIL is sick. Give him time, he’ll get wood with twickster. The hug is an excellent sign. 
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett]
You’re what, 18? I probably thought the same at your age.
[/quote]
I’d be offended, but you’re right. 19, for the record.
Oh, good Og, tell me you’re kidding. No, wait, I know you’re not, because you’ve already said this. Well, given the responses in this thread, with any luck I’ll find a girl who feels the same way, because they obviously exist. Then again, given my luck in this area…
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett]
You’re what, 18? I probably thought the same at your age. Not putting you down or anything because of your age, but you’re going to have some very cool and very shitty dating experiences in the next coming years. You’ll get more experienced with the opposite sex and you’ll find that games are ALWAYS part of it.
[/QUOTE]
Well, I’m 52, and I think games are for assholes, but that’s just me. Obviously. :rolleyes:
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett]
You’re what, 18?
[/QUOTE]
I’m 30, and I’m squarely behind Captain Carrot on this one. Games can go hang.
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett]
You’re what, 18? I probably thought the same at your age.
[/QUOTE]
Damn, I’m 45 and I’m just now getting it. I wish I knew about this stuff when I was 18. It would have saved me a lot of anguish.
Knowing that it’s a game that I can learn to play suddenly makes dating fun.
[QUOTE=twickster]
Well, I’m 52, and I think games are for assholes, but that’s just me. Obviously. :rolleyes:
[/QUOTE]
Well, hold on a second. Let’s define “games.” I think there exists a disconnect here.
I’m not talking about shit like telling someone to call you when you’re not going to answer. I’m not talking about dating multiple people while stringing everyone along. I’m also not talking about lying to someone for your benefit.
These types of games are “head games” and are played by dishonest assholes.
The games to which I’m referring are subtle things like not e-mailing the next day. Or not showing your hand prematurely. Keep feelings mysterious for a short while and let them naturally progress. Other guy things like knowing not to bring a woman a single red rose on the first date, knowing how to dress, being chivalrous, paying for the meal on the first date without discussing it. These are games; especially paying for the meal. You’ll find out a whole lot about a woman in that instant. If you don’t think that’s a volley, well…
[QUOTE=tdn]
Damn, I’m 45 and I’m just now getting it. I wish I knew about this stuff when I was 18. It would have saved me a lot of anguish.
Knowing that it’s a game that I can learn to play suddenly makes dating fun.
[/QUOTE]
It can be fun – I enjoyed dating different women, especially in my 20s. Got my heart broken a couple times, broke a couple hearts. Learned a lot.
I hate next morning thank you emails. Here’s the response I’d like to use:
[QUOTE=Fantasy Grossbottom]
Hey, thanks for that email, that made me feel good. But now I feel pressured by etiquette to respond, which annoys me, because in truth I haven’t thought much about last night. You met my minimum requirements obviously but so what? We both know you sent that email to give me a greenish light. Definitely not a red light, am I right? And when I respond, I’m supposed to give you a green light. That’s what you want.
And I have no idea what color my light is. None whatsoever. I mean if you want to sport fuck, sure, okay, green light right now. But I’m older and wiser in the ways of the world, and many a romp in my life has become a full-on bunny-boiling clusterfuck in about five seconds flat. Psycho quota: filled. Or worse, you’re just a sweet but not-to-me-interesting girl and I’m sorta lukewarm, and if I green light you and then cut you loose in a couple months, you’ll feel really used and I’ll feel like a total dick.
So what color is my light? I don’t know. It’s yellow, it’s off, the power is out. I wasn’t blown away last night but I’m not in a hurry either way and I’ll have a little time coming up so let’s see what happens? I guess? I dunno man, it was like twelve hours ago, stop bothering me. This isn’t a good start, you know…seriously, I’m a dude that needs a room of his own. Don’t fence me in. This whole email is premature. I could have just blown this off and not responded for three days and then acted like I was all busy and out of town and shit. But instead I’m telling you what you should hear: let the wine breathe, kid. Allow me time to ruminate, let me process, let the flavors come together. If you don’t hear from me in five days, probably best to just write me off. I’ll give you a call maybe, but the odds of me calling improve the more intrigued I become, intrigue which by the way you are steadily murdering by green lighting me this early. But I like a woman that orders veal, so whatever. See what I’m saying? I’m pondering this shit over here in my own slow way. Some people call this game playing but it’s really just what happens when you meet a non-desperate guy or girl who is in no hurry to screw things up. Be cool, have a good weekend.
- GB.
[/quote]
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett]
Well, hold on a second. Let’s define “games.” I think there exists a disconnect here.
[/QUOTE]
Excellent point. Well played.
It’s not about how to hurt people. It’s about gaming the genetics to make two people very happy.
I suffered a lot of hurt in my past because I figured that my failures were some intangible and unfixable flaw in my being. I was wrong for dating. I was a bad person.
As it turns out, I was just unfamiliar with the terrain. I didn’t know the subtle clues that told me how I was doing. And I couldn’t flip the switches to build attraction. I was all about “Uh, hey, uh, you wanna, like, go out or something? No? Oh, bummer. Wow, I’m a loser.”
So much more useful to be educated about how things work.
[QUOTE=Grossbottom]
I hate next morning thank you emails. Here’s the response I’d like to use:
[/QUOTE]
So, you spend a lot of time dating Mrs. Palm and her five daughters? 
[QUOTE=tdn]
So, you spend a lot of time dating Mrs. Palm and her five daughters?
[/QUOTE]
No, how does that follow?
[QUOTE=Grossbottom]
No, how does that follow?
[/QUOTE]
I’m just busting your balls. Had you actually sent that e-mail, I’m betting you wouldn’t have gotten “dude ur hawt” as a response.
Social filters serve a purpose.
Since my last post I went and grabbed some lunch. I made six new friends, had a nice cheery hello with the very sexy Julia, and had a nice little conversation with the unattainably hot Nicole. Julia and Nicole never used to say hi. They wouldn’t even look my way.
Having Game doesn’t mean pulling the wool over people’s eyes so you can rip them off. It’s about how life is one big-ass party. I’m the host, and you’re all invited. Tell your friends.
I should add that in my old way of thinking, I would have spent last night holed up in my apartment wondering why I wasn’t meeting any women, and bemoaning the the fact the “Women should just like me for who I am.” Instead, evil Adolph Hitler me was out, and getting hit on by girls half my age and ten times my beauty. And in the end, I walked away from them. Like “Hey, talk to me when you bring your cute friends over.”
Game. It’s what’s for breakfast. 
[QUOTE=Grossbottom]
I hate next morning thank you emails. Here’s the response I’d like to use:
[/QUOTE]
On one hand, I sorta understand what you are saying about pressure and whatnot.
But on the other hand, this smells of overanalyzing things to the point of ridiculousness.
So you have a date with someone. And it was a pleasant enough affair. I don’t see how a two or three sentence email the following day is supposed to mess your shit all up. First of all, if you have the attitude that this is just a casual meeting between two acquaintances (and not a prelude to marriage or anything major), then why should you even be flattering yourself by thinking this email means anything more than “thanks for the free meal, bub”? Almost as bad as the starry-eyed git who thinks that just because a guy has sex with her, that means he’s IN LOVE, OMG!!!. Um, no.
Secondly, I don’t know about you, but it doesn’t take very long for me to figure out my level of interest for a person. One date (plus the conversations and/or emails leading up to the date) is more than enough time for me to know if this person has potential or not. If I have to think long and hard about it, then it’s probably not to be. If I like them after the first date and they send me a next-day email, that’s not going to cause me to not like them. If I don’t like them or I’m indifferent and they email me the next day, it’s not going to change anything either.
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett]
Well, that’s a good sign. How much eye contact was there?
[/QUOTE]
Yes, in a true “I like you and want to see you again” hug— contrasted with the “I’m hugging you now, but in five minutes I’m going to totally trash you in the post-date wrap-up interview” hug— your corneas should actually peel apart as you separate.
Twickster, I wish you the best. I don’t think you sounded desperate at all. But I just have to ask who else is entirely over this thread? 
Who bothers with that? Next day email is a green light to move ahead and ask for a second date. Maybe Emily Post sends thank you cards for lame, sparkless dates but I’m pretty sure most of us don’t…at least not after you set off your first stalker who misinterprets your friendly gesture.
The followup email is a direct query: “I had fun…did you?!”
Sometimes I feel that way. Other times its just sort of a wait-and-see thing.
[QUOTE=Purplkid_Caterer]
Twickster, I wish you the best. I don’t think you sounded desperate at all. But I just have to ask who else is entirely over this thread? 
[/QUOTE]
Oh, I’m pretty much there. This is one of the snarkiest, nastiest threads I’ve seen in MPSIMS. 
I’ve been feeling fairly picked on, but didn’t want to wuss out and ask for it to be closed. Maybe I should.
[QUOTE=twickster]
I’ve been feeling fairly picked on
[/QUOTE]
Sure, and unfairly picked on as well.