Signs you've been a doper WAY too long.

I had a dream a few nights ago that my house was being burglarized. I yelled at the guy in the front of the house and he went away, and then I went to the back door to lock and close it so nobody else could get in (in previous dreams I’ve had people get in through the back door because I forgot about it, so in every dream since then, if I remember, I lock the back door as well).

And when the ordeal was done, what’s the first thing I think of?

“I have GOT to post about this.”

I was still asleep at this point, needless (I hope) to say.

And yes, this is on top of all the times I’ve delayed writing papers so I could post, or gone to dopefests when I should have been studying, or read the boards when I really should have been sleeping. I friggin’ dreamed someone tried to break into my house, and what’s my first thought? Call the police? Run after the burglar?

No. Of course not. Because that’s what a sane person would do.

The dope has already infiltrated my life.

Now it’s infiltrated my sleep.

Is there no escape?

When you return to AOL chat after months and months of chat in the #straightdope, even though you love 95% of the people there, you just need a change of pace.

(I haven’t dreamed about posting in here or Fathom in over a year!)

Nope, no escape… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

To reply to the thread title…

My friend started an ESDMB (Extension of the SDMB) on her desk at school…

My HTML consists of typing commands in brackets and then changing them to the pointy <> things…

Heck, when I type something in Microsoft Word, if I want bolding, italics, underlining, etc., I type in the VBulletin commands…

Whoo… I really need to get a life…

walks off to another thread

Well, I heard gunfire right outside my window once and my first line of action?

You guessed it.

I tell the people in my instant message boxes, “Brb. Gunfire.”

Not totally Dope-related, but ummm, yikes!

That’s happened at least twice to me, lel. Ere, I mean, people I was IMing with telling me they had to go because there was gunfire. One of them said: “Shot. Gunfire. Brb.”

She returned a few seconds later to inform me of a key misspelling.

I got it worse than you, 'Punny. I dream that I’m just surfing the boards, just like normal. Nothing notable stands out… just normal, boring surfing.


[sub]Do you ever read the TMI thread in your dreams?[/sub]

I once dreamt I was Cecil! Really . . . .

I’m not btw :slight_smile:

With all the crazy-ass stuff that you’ve done, you mean to tell us that you dream of surfing the boards? No, I can’t believe that…

<Head explodes>

Yes, my post count isn’t as high as some, but I lurked for a couple of years before registering.

Anyway, one sign that I’ve been following the SDMB far too long occurred just the other night. My wife and I were talking about something unimportant, and she made some statement that I just couldn’t believe. So I replied in classic SDMB fashion:

“Cite, please?”

She just looked at me and said, “You’ve been following the Straight Dope far too much.”

“I got it worse than you, 'Punny. I dream that I’m just surfing the boards, just like normal. Nothing notable stands out… just normal, boring surfing.”

—Omigod. What if you’re only dreaming that you’re on the boards right now, and none of us really exist, we’re just characters in your dream?

Well, Eve, did you take the red pill or the blue pill?

Me, I figure that when I can sort out things like “jarbabyj’s posting? This’ll be good!”, I’ve been doping way too long.

You know you’ve been a doper too long when…

… you talk about being a doper and going to a dopefest to meet other dopers, and you wonder why people are looking at you funny… you no longer remember the other definition of dope/doper(/dopefest?).

… every joke you tell involves long explanations about how you were in this one thread started by iampunha, when someone said the funniest thing…

… you can’t go more than an hour without being reminded of something you once saw on the SDMB.

… you post a thread on your exciting news before ringing your parents or even emailing your friends to tell them.

… you write an email to your friend, and whenever you mention a name, you bold it.

… you don’t yell at people who make you angry anymore. You just stand there clenching your fists thinking “Wait until I call you out in the Pit, you jerk. I’ll show you!”

… you spend quite some time during the day thinking out how to word your OP, despite knowing you’ll forget every well-rehersed word by the time you sit at your keyboard anyway. Or you plan threads when you can’t sleep at night - and when you wake in the morning, you run to the computer to make your threads reality.

I’ll stop now, before you all offer to chip in and buy me a life.

The dope has me.

I’ve woken up at 3 AM with something I HAVE to post.

I say “Cite, please?” to graffiti. I’m not kidding.

When I’m bored, I think about threads I could start.

I’ve almost said “I think I’ll stay home and Dope tonight” to people who don’t know better.

For a while, I kept having dreams that I opened a thread I started and saw this:


I am just forever trying to use vB coding in email.

I use Doper’s screennames a lot in conversation, too. That gets me some looks!

I also use the term “IRL” a lot–IRL.

You ditch your friends to have dinner with people you met on the internet.

DaLovin’ Dj

Hey! People I met on the internet are my friends! So there!

Your best friends are in your cell phone’s phone book by their screennames.

I sent a memo on the internal email system at work and I called it “Engraving costs. A bit long.” I nearly added “possible TMI”.

I intend to send a follow-up memo: “In which Redboss further investigates engraving costs”. Or possibly “Fuck You, Engravers!!!”


And I really do dream that I’m posting. I actually am writing posts in my dream!!

shockedly yours,

OMG! I’m not the only one. :slight_smile:
::Scrolls through phone book…Becca, Brett, blur:::
I also dream of Dopers. Some I’ve interacted with off the boards, but some I haven’t.

I say “eep” when I drop something. [sub]Thanks tiggeril[/sub]

I called a coworker a “fuckwaffle.” [sub]Thanks jarbaby[/sub]