You start typing things like “technolology”.
You get personal e-mails from across the States from posters with less that 8 posts…
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Smilie and you smilie alone (with my contempt). – missdavis
You’ve made more than 850 posts in only four months.
Uh-oh…
>< DARWIN >
__L___L
friends send you e-mails telling you to shut down so they can call & actually talk w/ you.
alternately, they send e-mails & you call them back on your cell because you just can’t shut down quite yet.
(and no, dammit, i will not get a second line!)
You have two phone lines and a modem on both.
– Sylence
Another day, another attempt to cross Niagra Falls on a tightrope. . .
You are speaking to someone, mentally “type” the words you are saying, and for a momentary flick, think to push some kind of “enter” button at the end of your sentence.
When you laugh, you mentally picture the letters “LOL”.
MaryAnn
I’m sorry you didn’t win, mom, but I’ll give you a constellation prize! -Greg
People call you Mr. Computer.
Relatives won’t talk to you unless it involves internet, like what’s happening to me right now. 
…and remember, duct tape fixes all your problems, big and small.
People with mIRC will understand this, but I’ll explain for those that won’t. With mIRC, to do an action like *soandso yawns you have to type in /me. So you know you’ve been online too much when you start thinking ‘me has had too much to drink’ or ‘me has to pee’
When are you going to realize being normal isn’t necessarily a good thing?
You actually check out the Toiletcam. :o
Neil, Neil, orange peel!
…And then wonder how to get rid of the cookie so no one’ll know you did check out toiletcam.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Smilie and you smilie alone (with my contempt). – missdavis
When my husband and I speak in actual life we no longer say “It cracked me up” we say “I was ‘loling’ all over the place!”
LOL, (of course!)
Love stinks! (Yeah, yeah!)
Yeah, only a real loser would do that. Get a life, you slobs!
Uh, never mind.
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.
I feel your pain special! 
“You both can suck my used tampons, you goat-raping, rat-stuffing inbred sons of a syphillitic gutterslut and a one-eyed midget named “Klaus”.”
–NTG
Heeheehee…me does tha…
Er…I do that.
::Ahem::
/me clears his throat and walks away…
Eschew Obfuscation
you sat there nodding and smiling as you read
all the posts in this thread.
like me!
John Larrigan
“82.35% of all statistics are made up on the spot”–Vic Reeves
{nod. nod. nod.}
I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about (looking around innocently).
Here is another way to prove that you have been online for too long. When you go to the store to buy something, you find yourself thinking “I could probably get this cheaper on E-Bay”.
Shadowfox
“Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.” - Procrastinator’s motto.
Your daughter hunts you down in your chat room when you ignore the phone, emails, and ICQ messages she sends. 
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
You have over 3300 messages posted on this MB.
But who the hell would spend that much time?!