I’m a either great conversationalist and/or a motormouthing Maynard, depending on who you ask.
With my talkative friends, male or female, there’s usually a good rhythm of give and take in our conversations. However, I also have two men in my life that are both on the silent side.
They’re both smart thinkers, and have interesting things to say when they do feel like talking. But they are a bit reticient and don’t babble easily.
Both have said that they actually like my motormouth tendencies. “It’s like tuning in to a pleasant and interesting radio show”, they say. “But interactive. You talk about what we see around us, so, a listening is a bit like an highly personalized audio tour. And when I want, I can join the conversation. And otherwise I just listen with a whole ear, or half ear and that is fine too”.
Are these guys saying the truth, or are they just trying to flatter me?
Are they just tuning out the sound and thinking stuff like “I like the way her face moves when she talks”?
It seems to me that it is tiresome to be with a talker. I wouldn’t like to spend time with myself. I would constantly intrude on my own thoughts.
On the other hand, all of us are different. Maybe silent men do like to be with a talkative woman, as long as she talks about pleasant and interesting things and doesn’t try to “trap” the guy. Maybe they like to be prompted into conversation because reacting is easier then volunteering.
So, silent men, tell me how you feel about talkative women, and why?
I’m a silent type, and a man, and my answer to your first question is generally no. If I’m in a one-to-one social situation with a talkative woman, it’s usually fine. Talking is a key part of being social after all. However, many social situations aren’t one-to-one. In a group situation, people tend to end up in small groups. The conversation is then led by the people who are naturally talkative, and they tend to do the bulk of the talking. If the conversation is interesting, that’s fine. If it’s uninteresting to me, I’ll be politely attentive for a while and then wander off and find some distraction. Or at least try to find something distracting about the present situation - if it’s a meal, I’ll concentrate on the food, for example. However, what’s annoying is when I’m in a situation where I can’t politely wander off and no distractions are on offer. It’s a mystery to me why people like listening to gossip about people they don’t know. I’d really rather not be stuck in a situation where I have to listen to talkative people exchanging office or hometown gossip while I have to sit with them and try not to look bored.
The one-to-one social situation where I sometimes dislike talkative people is when that situation has a topic, and the talkative person wants to talk about whatever’s on their mind, whether it relates to the topic or not. If we’re at an art gallery, and you want to talk about the art we’re looking at, that’s great. But if we’re there to look at the art, why on Earth would you think I’m interested in hearing about your sister’s cat?
I think it mostly depends on how compatible you are with the talkative person.
I have been known to engage in long bouts of silence and, when I’m feeling social, I do enjoy spending time around a talkative person who doesn’t mind carrying the conversation and allowing me to participate at a rate I’m comfortable with. That being said, if the subject matter being discussed isn’t something I’m interested in then my mind will immediately ADD off onto something I find more interesting.
If your silent friends continue to spend time around you then I would say that is more than enough evidence to prove they are sincere.
I get annoyed by anyone - man or woman - who talks nonstop.
I talk when I perceive there is a genuine need for me to convey verbal information, and I sort of expect the same from others. Motormouths tend to get ignored by me.
I think the answer is a definite “sometimes,” “maybe,” or “it depends.”
If what you are saying really is pleasant and interesting (and not just a rerun of things you’ve said to them before), then that’s a big point in your favor, and they may indeed be attentively listening and liking to hear you talk.
If they can join the conversation when they want (as opposed to, you never let them get a word in edgewise), that’s another big point in your favor.
Making interesting conversation isn’t easy for everyone, and if you can do it in a way that assumes a lot of the burden yourself while still keeping the other person(s) involved, that’s a good skill to have.
As a “silent man,” I have been in situations where I’ve been with a talkative woman and I genuinely enjoyed and appreciated their talkativeness. I’ve also been in situations where I just wished they’d shut up. It depends on things like what mood I’m in, how I feel about her, whether what she’s talking about is interesting to me, etc.
I have a co-worker friend. He isn’t the silent type, but I wouldn’t say he is real talkative.
One day he and his wife gave me a ride home. His wife jibber-jabbered the whole way. A constant stream of consciousness that sounded borderline pathogical. But my friend just acted like everything was totally normal.
Yeah it depends what flavor of motormouth we mean here.
Some people have great social skills, and can bring interesting topics and insights such that others enjoy the conversation even if they are not doing much of the talking.
I’ve dated at least one woman who belongs to this group and it was great.
But more often it’s people who just don’t stop, and plough on oblivious to whether other people are interested. In fact, others try to interject, and keep being blocked out. I don’t like people like that, either as friends or for relationships.
It really depends on the nature of your talkativeness.
My sister has a friend who I think she may have been trying to set me up with. (I never asked and she never specifically said so, but she did make sure that we would both be visiting at the same times and that Annie would give me a ride home.)
Now Annie is a very nice person, very intelligent and interesting. But she is a TALKER. By which I mean she just literally NEVER SHUTS UP.
I am, by nature more taciturn. I take somewhat after my father, who made a point of thinking about what he was saying and on a couple of notable occasions was observed falling asleep in the middle of a sentence that he was speaking.
So when I would ride home with Annie, a typical 10 minutes would consist of approximately 9 minutes and 45 seconds of Annie talking and 15 seconds of me trying to respond, but getting nowhere. If by some crazy set of circumstances, we had developed a relationship, I would have gone insane inside of a week.
I like talkative women. I tend to be quiet, but if you hit on a subject that interests me, good luck shutting me up.
Talkative women seem to eventually hit on at least ONE of those subjects that gets me engaged.
Actually, I think introverts and extroverts make good couples for this very reason.
I also agree with the OP’s friend’s analogy. I do enjoy listening to my past GFs ramble even when they are not hitting on a subject that doesn’t gets me engaged.
Finally, an OP that I’m uniquely suited to answer (see my username). My guess is that they are being honest. People can be quiet because they are just not talkative, or because they are shy. In my case it’s both. So in situations where I do find myself around people, I greatly prefer to be around talkative ones. If they are interesting-talkative, that’s great, but even it they are inane-talkative, that’s still eons better than the awkward silence that would result of me having to be the one leading the conversation.
You really have to put yourself in the shoes of a shy person. We dread social situations and often I’ll spend ***hours ***trying to think up things to talk about when I know I’ll be meeting someone new. Like a stand-up comic, I’ll have a whole set of material, but in reality I usually find myself using it all up in less than 5 minutes. Being around someone I know is going to carry the conversation is great because it takes all that pressure off.
I am a relatively quiet man and like some of the other posters said, it depends entirely on the content of what the woman has to say. If it’s meaningful, good, chit-chatter from her, fantastic. That would be great.
If it’s “I am talking just for the sake of talking, or to fill up the silence,” then that could get annoying very quickly.
I do not consider myself good at conversation. Upon first meeting I am very quiet. Once I get to know someone, and they get to know me, I can be very engaging verbally, but I gotta warm up. I would never describe myself as a silent type. Others might describe me that way if they haven’t spent quality time with me.
But I do like talkative women, as long as they let me in on the conversation. It is a quality I find attractive, a turn-on. However, I don’t like to be around people who talk non-stop, never letting me get a word in.
I think part of liking talkative women is that they draw me out of my own thoughts, I become more outward focused, which is a good thing. If I am with someone who is not talkative, I feel like we are both up in our own heads, so to speak.
Other posters have commented on the quality or subject matter of the conversations, that’s not usually a factor for me. I don’t want to be someone else’s editor. The more discursive and variable, the better!
Disclaimer: Naturally, I would run away screaming if they were chattering away expressing any number of thoroughly objectionable opinions. I have been known to hold up a defensive crucifix or lit candle and proclaim, “Back demon!”
I’m a guy who is silent until I get to know someone then I won’t stfu, but it also depends on my mood I tend to be a little quieter at work the first hour or two in the morning. I love to bullshit with people and I can do it all day, I love talking to my female coworkers as well, as long as I find the conversation novel or interesting. When my female coworkers talk about stuff that is more mundane to me like fashion or how to style their hair and nails, that’s when I feel like I’ll go crazy if they don’t stop talking.
