We have a 911 dispatcher/EMT who talks like Mush Mouth from the Cosby Kids cartoon, and is also the most abrasive and egotistical person I know in the county. I refer to him as Super(something I won’t repeat) to my wife.
The neighbor wife across the road is a retreaded hippie turned Martha Stewart wannabe. She’s known as CindyTheFlake.
“Psycho Pete” - he had some mental health issues.
We recently reconnected on Facebook. I said “hey, Canadian Pete” and he replied "Whatever - I know everyone called me Psycho. :eek:
:smack:
At work there’s a young woman who always walks very fast and has a very heavy foot-fall for being quite small. She’s Stompy. At the pub the guy with the high-pitched voice is Squeaky Dave. The guy who always has a carrier bag full of odds and ends is Bag Man.
The same guy is also know as Timmay (ref South Park) to a couple other buddies of mine.
I have had the great good fortune of working with several guys whose main talent was coming up with some stellar nicknames for co-workers, bosses, customers and such. Sadly, most of the names don’t translate without the specific people named and the relevance at the time of the nickname involved.
The only one that comes to mind as one that does translate well was the old gal next door whose arguments with here milquetoast husband were audible at our place and probably on down the block. She became “The Breeze From The East.”
Just in case these do translate well enough, here are some jewels fron “back then”:
Frosty
Widene
The Capo Wide Load
Ace of Diamonds (her shape)
The Phantom Pooter
Medusa
Muy Macho
Buck (female office supervisor)
The Great White (grey-haired president)
There is an administrative assistant at my work who is a very nice lady and very attractive - and very, very short.
… her unrevealed nickname is “The Sex Dwarf”.
Came about this way: my assistant and I were talking about some papers we had to get to this person, and my assistant could not remember her name - after uming and ahing a bit, she said “… you know, that sexy dwarf”. I nearly died, all the worse because I knew exactly whom she was talking about from that description - but you could never, ever say it to her face.
We did a version of this once with strangers. My entries I’d never share with the individuals were:
Mrs. Peachbottom, a slim older lady who wears a lot of tight pants emphasizing her assets
Two-tone, a gentleman with a really startlingly different shade of toupee atop his real hair.
I had a job where the boss-of-the-bosses was this fat, overweight lump of a man. He looked like a skinny man had stolen a large pillow by stuffing it up his shirt and tucking it in. He had no clue how to manage or to do any of our jobs, he was just a dick. So his nickname was Fatty McUseless.
My husband has two friends named Pete. One is just Pete, the other is kinda creepy, so he is Prickly Pete.
I do this most often to fictional characters - recently, the cast of Stargate : Universe - but sometimes in real life. I had the displeasure to meet the most boring, droning awful, socially ignorant lump of a man on the face of the Earth a couple years ago, and escaping a conversation with him was next to impossible. I dubbed him “Pip”, after the Ben Stein-voiced character from Animaniacs.
We do it to people on TV whose names we can’t remember too - that Cylon on Battlestar Galactica was always “Poor Man’s Kevin Spacey”, and we could never remember Tigh so we just called him “John McCain”.
There’s this guy with broad hips and a wide ass and, though married, gives off a definite gay vibe. He’s Tinky Winky.
Then there’s the woman who works as a receptionist in a cardiologist office. She is, therefore, qualified to dispense medical advice, and at one time expounded insufferably on the topic of the advisability of eating eggs due to cholesterol. She would go on and on about how many “visible eggs” one could eat a week. We called her Visible Egg for years.
We used to have a regular patron at my branch who I referred to in my head as “Porky Pig,” not because he was pink and fleshy and bald (I am all of these things, too), but because of his stammer, which was spot-on.
A friend and I often share what’s going on in our respective dating lives. I usually refer to the women I meet with nicknames.
Beauty girl
Rat girl
Girl scout cookie girl
NPR girl
Pigtail girl
Candy girl
etc.
There was a guy me and my friends would occasionally run into who would lie about hiking. He said that he
– Hiked with a 50 pound bag (and shrugged it off as being “only” 50 lbs)
– Between everyone in their group carried the parts to an entire grill
– Hiked 20-30 miles a day
– Would sometimes be hiking down a mountain in the fog and would be stepping onto the next stone without being able to see the stone through the fog.
So behind his back we called him “lies about hiking guy”.
My ex girlfriend is quite small on top, but has of late developed something of a big butt. Another friend now calls her Wizbit behind her back.
A friend of a friend has a slight case of scoliosis, and has forever been branded in my mind as “Question Mark Casey”. To the extent that I have to think about her name before I say it.
I’m horrible at giving perfect strangers on the spot nick names. Mostly derogatory, and not nice. I’d like to keep that to myself, because I’m not really proud of it. Mostly of the Biff and Tad persuasion, for the douchy frat boys out there.
The best man at my wedding is known as Grimace by pretty much all his friends. We’re trying to stop, but it’s hard.
When I was in college in the 80s I was involved with various fandom-type things like the film club, the gaming club, etc. There was this woman who I kept running into tangentially who had extremely poor social skills (she liked to talk VERY LOUDLY, for one thing, didn’t have much tact) and was *obsessed *with Star Trek. I mean obsessed the the point that she would be obnoxious about it, and would fly into rages when people disagreed with her about some point of Trekdom. The ST obsession was fine (I had plenty of friends who were, and I kinda was at the time too), but the poor social skills, loud talking, and general air of “teh crazy” that surrounded her earned her the private nickname of “Trekkie Weirdo.”
Funny thing was, when I compared notes with my SO at the time (currently my spouse) and mentioned this woman in general terms, he volunteered, "Oh, yeah. I know who you mean. I call her ‘Psycho Woman.’ " Of course he we was talking about the same person.
I kinda wonder what happened to her–if she finally settled down and learned some social skills. She wasn’t a bad person, just…offputting.
