I find it very hard to imagine the man that in all other respects was attractive to me, yet still thought a gold chain was a good idea, you know what I mean? That indicates a larger mindset that would certainly be apparent long before that.
Ahem. “That’s funny.” (period)
Not so obvious. But when someone is too serious they are ridiculous or so ridiculous they’re serious. For example, being about business, finance, business, finance - and that’s all they ever talk about, and then they’re obnoxious around others and make a show of themself. Then you have the girl who literally makes a show of herself (an artist or musician) but then doesn’t talk about current events, technology, random observations, tv shows, anything - they just sit there self-absorbed.
J.D. on *Scrubs *had an issue with a woman he was dating who did this. I didn’t get it - she was hot enough that I’m sure I could have ignored that one quirk.
I can relate to that. In my young and stupid days I seemed to meet a few of those types. But worse than the ranters are the ones who make it their mission to try and re-ducate you, for your own good. Or rather, shape your opinions so they match theirs.
I present one Mr CW, boyfriend of mine when I was really old enough to know better. He fancied himself as being the last word on all things musical and made no bones about telling me that my taste in music was completely tragic. He kept buying me cds he liked and when I pointed out to him that musical tastes were a personal thing and mine were no less valid than his just because they were mine, he was mortally offended. Really, really insulted. That made me laugh, which also didn’t go down too well.
We split up that same night, if I recall correctly.
Hey, hey, that was a custom adopted long before I came around, and I’m old! In my day only huzzies asked men out! As I’ve evolved, however, I’ve asked my share of guys out and picked up the check and have a firm belief that once a dating relationship has been established, picking up the check should be a shared responsibility. If you bought last time, I’ll get it next time. I’m all about fair.
I had a similar experience when I was pretty young… like 19. I was dating a musician who thought my tastes in music were abominable and he had me listen to lots of other music. It turned out, however, that Alvin Lee and Ten Years After, for example, were FAR more musically accomplished than Jim Dandy and Black Oak Arkansas! He taught me how to listed to jazz, jazz fusion to be precise, and I bought CD’s (because this was in the days of albums - 1976) of Stanley Clark and Jacco Pastorious, et al that I still listen to today.
Excepting cases of legitimate mental disability/retardation, absolutely no one has bad grammar. They simply speak a different dialect. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with disliking such differences, of course, but that’s a personal preference, not a matter of correctness.
As for me, I don’t personally care about any potential partner’s native dialect, but it’s a deal breaker for me when they can’t alter their speech to fit the situation.
Aks has a long, distinguished history. Chaucer used it and ask both. Somewhere along the way, aks dropped out of the standard language, but it managed to persist, and so today it is present in, but not exclusive to, AAVE.
There absolutely is “bad grammar”. “It don’t matter” is poor grammar no matter your dialect. “She ain’t pretty” is poor grammar. “I don’t got no money” is poor grammar, grammatically incorrect. WTF are you talking about?? We’re not discussing “Ahnt” vs “Ant” for your mother’s sister or soda vs pop vs soda pop, etc.
This seems a Philly/ SE Pa. regional thing, which I’ve never noted in AA’s. Oft accompanied by “gaz” for gas, and “zinc” for sink.
Swearing,farting and tattoos are all turn offs in a woman to me plus inserting “Like” every other word,exaggerating their local accent,complaining about friends/family colleagues all of the time.
Similarly, taking freakin’ forever to choose what you want to eat. “Gee everything looks so good! I think I’ll have the pasta. No wait, the chicken. No … I don’t know. What are you having?” Gah! Just pick something! We can always come back again so you can try more of their food!
Not believing that I trust you. I briefly dated a guy who was like this. I had conversations with him that would go like this:
Him: (calling from work) Some of the guys from work want to go have beer after work. Is it ok if I go?
Me: Sure, have fun.
Him: It’s just a few guys and we’re just going to a bar.
Me: Ok
Him: There aren’t any girls from work going.
Me: :dubious: It wouldn’t really bother me if there were, but ok.
He would also go to great lengths to assure me he wasn’t flirting with the waitress/female cashier/random female passerby. I know, I’m standing right here. I would notice if you had.
I’m guessing he had a previous girlfriend with a huge jealous streak that ruined him.
Not only may you have your stated silly reasons, but I have arranged with Inanna that you be allowed two additional ones without penalty. She owed me a favor.
One of these three is inescapable.
Well don’t leave us hanging… which one?
LOL. He probably thought you didn’t care about him enough. It is tough being with someone that has a huge jealous streak though. I put up with it in my early 20’s, but not now, no way.
Well, then say “I don’t like Chinese food” when I suggest House of Chop Suey. If you agree to go, then say “Ugh! I hate Chinese” when we’re trying to decide on dishes, you are a twat (not YOU, necessarily, but someone who does this)
If you try to modify every single item you order, you MAKE it my business, by causing a scene. Saying “no mayo” is fine, but asking for the Veal Parm, but with pork instead of veal, hold the cheese, and the green salad with extra onions and tomatoes, but 1/4 lettuce, with half the dressing on the salad and half on the side, is a dealbreaker.
Joe
Haha. No worries. I’m pretty sure I’m a teeth snob because my mom is a dentist. If I didn’t get them for free, I probably wouldn’t have even go braces.
Grammar nazis are a turnoff. I have a Ph.D. in linguistics, and I say all kinds of things that would give Strunk & White the vapors. Other people’s grammar may give you an indication of other things about them, but it isn’t wrong and shouldn’t be corrected.
Picky eaters are a turnoff. Grow up already.
Not tolerating swearing is a turnoff. Grow up already. “Fuck” is the most versatile and expressive word in the English language. I love it, and I use it every day.
Read between the lines. They were going to a titty bar.
I don’t mind if a woman takes a long time getting ready to go out. If she wants to spend an hour getting pretty, I find that flattering.
But one thing I can’t stand – and I usually see this in older women – is what I call The Mask. It’s when makeup is apparently applied with a spackle knife. Do you really think that filling in those wrinkles with putty actually makes you look like you’re 22?
True, true. But it bugs me when people pronouce words wrong. Yes, it’s silly, and it makes me a shallow ass, but there it is.
There’s a woman at work who keeps saying “sonnometer.” For the longest time, I had no clue what she was talking about. Then it dawned on me that a sonnometer is a unit of measurement. There are 2.4 sonnometers in an insh.
If I catch her saying it again, I will be forced to strangle her with her own small intostine.