Simpsons Throwaways and Tossoffs

When Homer is sleeping at work and the radio plays some 1930s jingle

Radio Presenter; ‘its 1939, ice cream costs a nickel, and a hot new jazz tune was top of the charts…jazz tune starts’

Homer; (in a start)‘1939? I’ve got to warn everyone about hitler, and get to the ice cream store’

LEnny and Karl walk in

Lenny; 'whats the matter homer?
Karl;‘yeh did you travel back in time again?’

Homer; (still worried) ‘shut up!, you haven’t even been born yet’

number 2’

Homer’ Lenny, tell Mr Burns i’ve gone home to work on the contest’ - actually talking to a photo of lenny

number 3

When Apu is trying to get his wife pregnant and is outside talking to homer who is barbecuing.

Apu: “So when did you plan on having children?”

Homer: “Plan? Children just happen.”

Bringing the thread back, just after Family Guy premiered, the Simpsons reran a couch gag where the whole thing turned into a musical extravaganza – looking very much like the Family Guy opening. The fact that it was a reuse of the gag was their saying, “we did it first.”

Skinner: As a POW in 'Nam I was kept in a tiger cage and forced to subsist on a thin stew of fish and seven kinds of rice. I keep trying to find it in the States but they just can’t get the spices right!

Lenny: Ow, my eye! I’m not supposed to get pudding in it!

Frank Grimes: I live in an apartment above a bowling alley … and below another bowling alley.

Bart, watching the Thanksgiving Day parade and not recognizing any of the cartoon character balloons complains that it wouldn’t hurt if they used a character from this century. As he’s saying it a Bart Simpson balloon floats past.

The X-Files episode has some great ones, like when Moe runs past with the killer whale. Then, of course, there’s Leonard Nimoy buying a hot dog.

Geeky Teenager: “What do you want on your hot dog?”

Nimoy: “Surprise me.”

It’s just the way he says it.

That Leonard Nimoy line is a freakin classic. My favorite quips are the sayings on signs as the Simpsons enter buildings:
Springfield Franchise Expo: Where all your non-sexual fantaises come true!
Springfield Church: Priest carries less than $20 cash at all times.
(I can’t remember the context of this next one, but it was on a sign)
Today: --Event everyone was attending–
Tomorrow: Closed. Spraying for roaches.

Well, I’m having a hard time distinguishing throwaways from actual, factual jokes, but here goes…

I liked the one where Otto is going to marry Becky–

“We’re cyanide, a loving tribute to Poison!” You know…cyanidte being a form of poison and such.

And from that same episode (I think?), Skinner chaining shut the globes because of a lack of funding for geography.

Homer, at one point, was reading a magazine called “Blue Pants Weekly.”

The church marquee also once said something like “Evil Women: From Jezebel to Janet Reno.”

The holloween episode with Pierce Bronsan (sp?) as a robotic house.

House: “Marge is a wonerful woman. You sure are a lucky man.”

Homer: “Luck. Ha. Luck had nothing to do with it. I knocked her up. She’s stuck now.”

I thought of 2 more (apologies if they’ve been posted already):

Random scene where Homer is in the bathroom shaving his shoulders and singing a song about it:

“I’m shavin’ my shoulders…I’m takin’ it all off”

I forget who says it (Lisa?) - “What possible motivation could the church have for lying to us?” Cuts to scene of Rev. Lovejoy dumping the collection-plate contents into a coin sorter.

The episode where Bart falls for the Reverend’s daughter cracks me up.

Man: “I keep telling you, the light would work better if it pointed out to sea!”

Captain McAllister: “Yarr, shut up! I know what I’m doing!”
(large yacht crashes into the rocks.)
“Yarr, I hate the sea, and everything in it!”

And the Bobo episode is my all time favorite.

Kent Brockman: “This moldy old bear could be anywhere. It could be in your house. You could be staring at it right now, waggling back and forth, perhaps being held up by a loved one.”

Homer: “Maggie, I’m trying to watch tv. Put that moldy old bear down.”
(pauses)
“Moldy? Old?.. I’m gonna get something to eat!”

In the episode with Jessica Lovejoy, when she confesses she took the money, Rev. Lovejoy says “To the little girl’s room.”

In the Biblical stories episode, when Lisa and Milhouse are put into the pyramid, one of the objects is the globe of Isis (later seen in the museum episode). I also love the chocolate bunny on the pulpit in the too-hot church, slowly melting.

Speaking of the Jessica Lovejoy episode, probably my favorite line in the entire show is when Bart attends the Sunday school class and the teacher has passed around a supposed replica of David’s sling (i.e., a slingshot). As the teacher bends over to examine the contents of a footlocker, Bart is extremely tempted to snap off a round at her waggling butt. He then says;

“Must … avoid … sin. Make … it … up … to … Satan, later.”

It just doesn’t get much better.

In the “Terrible Family” episode where Lisa is concerned about the family’s soul because Homer is stealing cable television, driving back home from Sunday school, Bart mentions how they were learning about Hell. Marge admonishes Bart that he shouldn’t say that word and he retorts;

“If we can’t say “Hell,” how in the Hell are we going to talk about Hell?”

and Homer replies;

“The kid’s got a point, Marge.”

Cracks me up every time.

The preceding scene where the car is full of flames and the rest of the family appears as demons to Lisa is pretty d@mn funny too (as it were).
In other news;

“Doh!” “A deer” “A female deer.” Is always good for a chuckle.

When the simpsons fall asleep in church, and wake up to the Apocalypse. Lisa starts floating toward heaven when homer says;

“And where are you going missy?”

and pulls her back down. Then they walk down into hell and Homer says;

“Ooooooh, smells like BBQ…Aaaaaaagghhhhhhh they’re out of hot dogs.”

"Max Power never apologizes.

I’m sorry, Lisa, that’s just the way it is."

PS: Welcome aboard(s), G-Unit!

The next line is what makes that scene:

“We’re cyanide, a loving tribute to Poison!..We need a ride home!”

Immediately before that:

Marge:“Why aren’t we ascending into Heaven?..Oh, right, the sins…”

Speaking of shaving: In an old one Homer finishes shaving his face. He is clean shaven for all of 5 seconds before the stubble grows back.