Zoe to Mal in Firefly - “Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing”
Agent K in Men in Black - “Ma’am, the FBI does not have a sense of humor that we’re aware of”
House (in response to “couldn’t I get pregnant some other way - like from a toilet seat or something?”). “Sure. Of course, there would have to be a guy between you and the toilet seat, but yeah.”
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!
Childish, I know, but it always makes me giggle.
“Son, you have a panty on your head”
Roseanne (in the episode where Dan’s insane mom - hilariously played by Debbie Reynolds - shows up and is trying to kill him) - “Don’t call the hospital, Dan! They could take any one of us away!”
The whole last season of that series was horrifically bad, but Debbie Reynolds single-handedly redeemed that one episode. “I’ve fallen in love with the (giggle) burying him alive idea!”
Anyone who quotes Fandango is a friend of mine!
" I’m not a weenie!"
" If you say “Ferris Buellar” you lose a testicle."
I’ve always thought that would be an awesome bumper sticker.
The only funny line in the entire series, and it was the first joke in the first episode. Oh, the time I could have saved by changing the channel after that…
I’ve always found the whole thing about popular culture where people can without a hint of irony wear a mass produced and very popular t-shirt that proclaims their individuality amusing.
So the line where Brian says to the crowd that they are “all individuals” only to have them parrot back the line in unison, followed by the lone voice saying “I’m not” has always cracked me up, and I find myself hearing the lines in appropriately ironic circumstances every frickin’ day.
Chandler: And there’s Daddy!
Monica: That can’t be your father
Chandler: Believe me, I’ve been saying that for years!
ETA: Chicken pot, Chicken pot, Chicken pot piiiiiieeee is a great call. I agree with everything Ol’ Gaffer said. In a medicre show, that one episode is a masterpiece.
“It’ll be like waterskiing.”
“WATERSKIING!?!??!!”
Hancock - when handing out assignments at work, I sometimes stammer, lean in and say, “Oh-uh… Good Job.”
Men in Black II - “Let’s make it happen, Cap’n!” has become a personal catchphrase. My kids are picking it up from me.
From that same movie:
“Everybody freeze … everybody down on the ground.”
“Well, which is it, sonny? If’n I freeze, I can’t rightly drop. And if I drop, then I’m gonna be in motion.”
There are also too many from the Simpsons to list here.
Oh, Idlewild. Anybody who quotes *The Impostors *is a friend of mine.
“I fuckin’ knew it!”
“All right. But dogs *can *look up.”
–exchange between Shaun and Ed in Shaun of the Dead
Lord John Whorfin: Where are we going?
The Red Lectroids: Planet Ten!
Lord John Whorfin: When?
The Red Lectroids: Real soon!
I die laughing every time I hear these lines.
Also:
John Bigboote: John O’Connor, break the window!
John O’Connor: Why me, John Bigboote?
John Bigboote: It might be booby-trapped!
John O’Connor: Oh.
Thanks IMDB!
From Ghostbusters, just before the big showdown at the end:
“Let’s show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!”
They’re from New Jersey, Phil. They’ve seen butts before.
“Too slow, Chicken Marengo!”
Yeh! I still giggle whenever I think of those lines.
“I’m not dead.”