Single parents dating: when the kids embarrass you

I have a new/old girlfriend, whom I’ll call Sara. We were together for a couple of years after high school, then after parting ways - twenty years ago - we had no contact at all until a month ago, when we reconnected. Sara has a ten-year-old daughter, “Ann,” who has never met her father; and, Sara hasn’t dated much at all since Ann was born.

Sara has been reluctant to have me spend time with Ann - that is, she’s slowly easing us into it. Ann has ADHD, and Sara has basically been afraid I’d spend a little time with them, Ann would act up or go nuts over something, and I’d go running screaming the other way. I’ve been telling Sara there’s no way that’s going to happen, of course.

I met Ann briefly a week ago, but tonight was the big test: I went over to their place for dinner. I think Ann is a great kid. She was on the hyper side, yes, but I think it had to do mostly with being around her mom’s new squeeze, after being told all about me. I thought Ann was just being a kid, but Sara was obviously embarrassed a few times during the evening.

The best part of the night was when Ann came out of her room with a paper airplane and threw it a couple of times - she was aiming it at me. She finally just brought it to me, told me to open it and read the inside, then ran off giggling back into her room. So I read it, and started laughing; Sara asked me what it said. I told her she really didn’t want to know, but she insisted. So I held it up for her:

“Marry my mom!”

Sara turned beet red.

I thought it was awesome! :smiley:

Anyone else have cool stories like this, as the parent or the date?

Sounds like you passed the test :smiley:

Aww, so sweet!

My story is a bit different than that and totally embarrassing.

I introduced my squeeze to my daughter after we had been dating for six months. They have gotten along famously since that time and he’s a really positive influence in our lives.

He also happens to be of mixed race and ethnicity.

Two weekends ago the three of us were far outside of town and we weren’t exactly clear which train would take us back so we asked a man standing on the platform for directions. We boarded the train and my daughter (six years old) said, “are you sure we can trust that man?”

I asked why and she replied, “well, he’s black and black people are bad.”


I was about to explode when my boyfriend calmly asked her where she had heard that (her father’s friend) and whether or not her black friends were bad (no) and if she knew that he was in fact black (really?) and they discussed evaluating people on their characters and why that kind of statement is stupid, etc. the whole way home. In the end, my daughter did not become a racist but I will never forget that cringe-worthy, die-right-here moment.

“Sometimes mom farts in her sleep.”

Thanks, kid.

Well, now. Ann seems to have an agenda. Tonight, when her mother was out of the room, she asked me if I plan to marry her mom. I shrugged and said “Maybe. We’ll see what happens. Probably not right now, though.” She seemed satisfied with this answer. :slight_smile:

I don’t have kids of my own yet, but I think I embarassed my mom a few times while she was dating. I distinctly remember her having someone over for dinner when I was 8 or 9. I was crawling around under the table and being a bit hyper, and she turned to our guest with a laugh and said “You realise this is all for your benefit.”