Middle aged guy, 53. There is everything right and nothing wrong with women initiating things.
+1 ==> she hints and flirts conspicuously
+5 ==> she overtly propositions me or asks me out, verbally, without vagueness
This is too funny.
How do you think we feel? We never know if it’s only sex, or a relationship (with sex). And it doesn’t matter if you are conventionally attractive, because if you’re hot, you wonder if it’s because of that, and if you’re not, you wonder whether they thought you’d be easy because you are ugly.
AHunter- LMAO.
I wouldn’t think so, but I have found myself very quickly falling out with any woman who aggressively pursues me, even though there’s no objective reason for this to be so.
Of course, a lot of that might be that it’s easier for me to attract women I’m personally not attracted to. I guess it’s something about being hard to get.
NETA: It’s almost as if those women are the ones who enjoy the chase.
But I have actually thought about this lately, and I wonder how many of these people who like to have women ask them out are themselves high on the attractiveness scale? And I wonder how many women find it attractive not to be chased. Does having to make the first move make you feel the guy is not confident enough? It could rationalization of your desire for the guy to make the first move to show the attractive trait of confidence.
Yeah, I know. I’m too analytical for my own good.
I have been involed with several women who have made the first move.
**Love 'em!!! **
To be honest, it has always weirded me out just a little bit. I know it shouldn’t, and I’ve responded positively to a booty call once when the woman initiated it, but, overall, I generally feel more comfortable as the pursuer.
I think a woman making the first move is a beautiful thing, because then I know she’s legitimately interested.
Most guys are quite clueless that a girl is interested if she just does what a girl considers obvious (laughing at your dumb jokes, the odd light touch, smiling at you, stuff like that). Sometimes we pick up on that but it’s so much easier when a girl is overt like that.
I am also one of those need-a-whack-with-a-clue-by-four guys*. When we finally got together, my current SO was deeply frustrated by my lack of clue that she liked me in that way. Her “hints”:
Unfortunately these have also been the behaviours of women who have seen themselves as Just Good Friends too… 
That aside, I’ve been on the receiving end of several approaches from women I found extremely attractive, and have always been extremely pleased. Sometimes it’s just been a hookup, and sometimes a relationship. Keep on doing it ladies, some of us are idiots!
*I once picked up a woman in the street without realising it. I thought we were just sharing a taxi and was really surprised when I got out at my house and she thought she was coming in for the night. Don’t think my then-girlfriend, who was asleep in bed, would have approved though.
I’d have to agree. You’re waaaay over-thinking this one.
I wish I could cite this, but at the library where I used to work I once came across some scholarly book (fairly old, from the '80s or even '70s) about dating behavior. The author claimed that women usually do make the first move, and that a man who thinks he initiated things is often actually responding to the woman’s opening move.
For instance, a man might say that he first met his girlfriend when he saw her at a party and asked her to dance. But the woman might have noticed the man from across the room and decided she liked the look of him, walked over to stand in his line of sight, and started swaying her hips and glancing back at him with the hope that this behavior would inspire him to ask her to dance. From the man’s perspective he made the first move because he noticed an attractive woman and asked her to dance, but from the woman’s perspective she made the first move because she noticed an attractive man and set things up so he could easily ask her to dance.
Of course, a woman who does this rather than just asking the man if he wants to dance might more or less agree with “Donna” and believe that he would be put off by any overt first move on her part.
No, it’s fine. A few woman have overtly asked me out, or asked if I live around “here,” but only once or twice has it been awkward because I really wasn’t interested. Usually they don’t ask, though – they do everything but, for some reason, just like Catholic schoolgirls.
Well, if during our initial handshake, she passed me her panties… that might give me pause.
Um…good luck with that.