The gods of alimentary byproducts are out to get me.
Last night I had to plunge the toilet in the first floor powder room (ew). This morning Shiva decided to piss all over the carrier I use as his feeding station. I left paper towels soaking that up since I didn’t have time to do an actual cleaning. That’ll be fun to come home to.
(This is the same cat I was telling to shut up. He was in full voice again last night. Thirty minutes of wailing for no discernible reason. ARGH!)
Why do I have to cajole two of my three cats into taking treats? They’re treats! You like them. I know you do! So they can’t be in a pile here or there and NO DAD, THAT’S TOO MANY! I MUST BURY THEM! I finally figure out that my girl wants exactly three, which have to be on the ottoman, and my youngest wants four in the hallway. Meanwhile their older brother, who already ate his in what would be record time for another cat, is sniffing at the original spot his siblings’ were and looking at me as if to say, “Father, pray tell what happened to the six, wait–seven treats that were here exactly forty-seven seconds ago?”
Cats is weird.
“In ancient times, the Egyptians worshipped cats as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.”
And they let us know, every single minute of every single day. :smack:
An old family cat used to do that. Soon discovered after that trend began that there were crystallized kidney problems. That’s hopefully not the issue here.
If you happen to notice kitty spending an inordinate amount of time in the litter box, however…
Thankfully, I know it’s not that because his urine is (expensively) checked on a regular basis thanks to his IBD and (newly diagnosed) hyperthyroidism and the doctor wanting to keep a check on how various liver functions are being affected by his diet and medication via urinalysis. As long as they’re doing all that, they sift for crystals, too.
Last year’s X-mas present from The Greatest Wife in the World[sup]TM[/sup]
Oh, I thought we were gathered here to bitch about Sirius XM radio. They’re freakin’ killing me with The Who and the bloody Doors on Classic Vinyl!
Uh, other than that, August has been peachy so far.
Sirius XM FINALLY is allowing me to listen ‘outside of my car’. I can now enjoy Sirius on my Sonos box in my house. With no extra charge.
My firm is celebrating its fiftieth anniversary. They’re putting serious pressure on us to stay after work for a party out on a hot patio in the hot sun in hot fucking August. They want to take our collective picture out in the sun, too.
Seriously? Spend my personal time at a freaking hot noisy party during the worst of the dog days, so that my 45 minute commute can be pushed back so that I’ll arrive home just in time to fall into bed from heat exhaustion? I’m too old for this.
Oooh, bad luck, teela!
I’m not a wife person, but I like yours!
The luck does seem undependable, doesn’t it? Maybe after I evade the party-pressure and go home, some horrible catastrophe will befall this building and then the nature of the good luck will be apparent.
I’m not hoping for this, mind!
Tell them you’re sorry, but you already have something scheduled that night that can’t be canceled. You don’t have to tell them that what you have scheduled is peace and quiet. 
Well you can’t have her! 
The year before, she got me a copy of Good Omens, signed by Sir Terry. Last week, I had David Tennant sign it too.
But that’s the opposite of a rant, and has no business here.
I was almost ready to upgrade my SiriusXM subscription when I got that nice little email. 
I’ve enjoyed listening on my phone.
I’m especially glad that they parked Yacht Rock Radio on a relatively out-of-the-way station this year. Now if they’ll just keep Road Trip Radio on through the bulk of Labor Day week, I’ll be really happy.
When my husband and I went on vacation, I left my car safely in the garage for the four days we were gone. When we got back, I noticed a slight smell whenever I switched the air from A.C. to regular. “Must be the refrigerant,” thought I.
When I took the car in for an oil change, the mechanic discovered a mouse nest in my cabin filter. Said nest was full of fiberglass insulation from our garage ceiling and bits of chewed up God-knows-what. Even better, the regular air filter was being used to store dog kibble and sunflower seeds, neither of which are stored in our garage. The mechanic pulled out a huge wad of nest material from my dash as well.
The icing on the cake was the cause of the smell: Apparently Mickey was decapitated by my fan. He hath gone to meet his maker and left his scent behind. Who knew something that small would leave a stench that grand? With the recent heat wave, I’ve been dying to use the air but I REALLY don’t want essence of ex-mouse up my nose and on my clothes. Why can’t I roll the windows down? Because it keeps raining, that’s why.
Oh, did I mention we have four cats? Useless, the lot of them.
I once found a dead mouse in my heater vent. I didn’t want to touch it, so I vacuumed it up. A few weeks later I noticed a godawful stench coming from the vaccum. Turns out that the mouse was stuck in the hose, merrily decomposing. Lesson learned: next time just suck it up and grab the dead mouse with a paper towel.
No, no, you don’t want that. You’d be the obvious suspect.
But isn’t that what got you in trouble to begin with?
I get out of a lot of things with “Ooh, sorry. I’ve got a previous commitment.” If I want a longer version, it’s "Darn it! ::sigh:: I just knew when I said I’d help my friend move, something more fun would come up. Believe me, I’d much rather be partying with my coworkers, Boss…"
And shouldn’t we be spelling that word “Siriusly” for this thread?