Because you’d be freezing it, silly-ass.
Originally posted by Lexicon:
Is this how it goes?:
Kinky… you only use feathers
Sick: you use the whole chicken
Drop it off the top onto a bus-stop, then count and see how long it takes the cops to come up and Rodney King you. The number of years you will spend in a federal pound-me-in the-ass prison is inversely proportionate to the number of floors in the building. 15 feet per floor times n equals height of building.
If I hadn’t, I never would’ve gotten to hear you ask a dumb-ass question.
So they can lock them when they see you coming.
Wu Tang Fu
That music sure makes me want to blow my brains out.
Monsters. Faeries. An honest lawyer. Something from Microsoft that is easy to use and has no bugs, and other things that do not exist.
bump
That’s easy. The real trick is using the height of a building to locate a barometer.
And if anybody figures that out, come tell me! 
You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment."-Bill Hicks
“You should tell the lies, live the truth and expose yourself.” - Bill Clinton
You know these are all great dumb-ass questions, but I had other ones in mind, stuff that you run into in everyday life.
I shall provide the following example.
Dumb-ass question- Can I speak to your manager?
Smart-ass answer- Okay, take a shit in your hand… now rub it on your face. Betchya feel pretty stupid right about now, huh? And no, you can’t speak to my manager.
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
Oh you mean like, <asked at a bus stop> “What time did the last bus leave here?”
What would happen to me if I said, “Shut up” to the Pope?
Don’t be sexist. The broads hate that.
Guy at drive through: Can I get that to go?
(Hey Lex and company.
Just checking the hangout before crashing - it’s been an exhausting two days)
About the same time your brain left your house… about half an hour ago.
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
If a nimrod like you ever meets the pope, I am sure the gods that be will suspend your talking priveliges for the enitre episode and triggering the holocaust.
*I need to make it clear that my replies to these ?'s are not directed at the dopers who posted them, rather at the hypothetical dumb-ass who asks them… so don’t get hurt, you know I love you!
No sir, I’m afraid I can’t give you this order to go. I believe that you are entirely too stupid to talk with your thumb in your ass, let alone drive with food in your car, so I can’t let you have this to go. Sorry.
Excellent Lex.
Here’s another:
Guy comes in from outside, soaking wet. Other guy asks: “Is it raining?”
Here’s one
Why did you come home drunk?
or
If I told you to jump out the window would you do that too?
No, it’s not raining so hard that the car that didn’t drive by didn’t splash me by driving through the puddle that wasn’t there making me even wetter than your wife at my bachelor party.
[quote
Why did you come home drunk?
[/quote]
Well, I couldn’t very well stay the whole night at your sister’s house, now could I?
No, but I’d consider tossing your portentous ass out, though. And don’t think I’d open it beforehand, either.