In the spirit of “Ask the ________ guy.” I am starting this.
I hope to be able to answer any and all questions, as long as they fit the bill. Heh.
Anyway, I will provide exactly what the title says:
Smart-ass answers to dumb-ass questions.
So go ahead, ask away…
There has to be something that you have always wanted a snappy come-back or a smart ass answer for.
Hopefully, I can con Wally and some other like minded ilk to come in here and help me.
So let’s get it on!
Okay Lexi, heres a pitch right down the middle
Why do you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?
“Bones, help that man!” – “Damnit Jim, I’m a doctor not a doc…I’ll get right on it.”
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
Lexi, if I stick feathers up my butt, what am I, if not a chicken?
(I’m feeling strong today. I’ll do it!)
i here theres 3 wordz in teh englisch langiuage thjat end in -GRY. i only know angry & hungry. wutz the 3d won?
h3lp m3 out h33r dUd3!!
Defect borg:
“Refutile is sistance. Your ass will be simulated”.
WallyM7 on Coldfire:
"Yeah, he knows a little about everything because they have a good prison library."
Why can’t I cook my Thanksgiving dinner for 375 hours at 4 degrees?
Chrome toaster:
Would you be a toasted chicken sandwich?
Coldfire:
You beat me to it, and I also lost our bet over bedboys new ID.
**Id rather be no one than someone with no one **
Babar: you’d have to start cooking it at Holloween… (ok, that might be wrong, but you get the idea!! 
**Id rather be no one than someone with no one **
How much wood could a woodchuck…oh, never mind.
Imbibo, ergo sum.
How can I use a barometer to find the height of a building?
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
NO! What is it? Where is the little spanker?
Esprix
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
Lexicon,
I have one for you.
Why did you start this thread?
:::::running quickly to the shelter of the closet::::::
Why does ice freeze at 32 degrees?..no! wait! That’s a pretty good question…
:::::headed off for GQ::::::::
Yours truly,
aha
Ice DOESN’T freeze at 32 degrees, silly…
it’s already frozen.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
Why do 24 hour Walmarts have locks on their doors?
“Bones, help that man!” – “Damnit Jim, I’m a doctor not a doc…I’ll get right on it.”
Dear Smart Ass Answer Guy,
What is the best martial art?
Glitch
What becomes a legend most?
Dr. Watson
“Victim of a rare pre-modern, post-constructionist disorder which manifests itself in deconstructionist, post-modern angst of a vaguely Viennese variety.”
“That’s impossible! Cartman doesn’t know a rainforest from a Pop-Tart!”
“Yes I do! Pop-Tarts are frosted!”
An individual with severe psychological problems, or very kinky, or both.
One can only hope…
Putzgry. It means someone who likes to piss off wally and get flamed unmerciful.