Sneevil, come here. A word.

The BBQ Pit
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In this thread http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=604867
you made the following comment (among other completely asinine, stupid comments. You really have to read all of it to understand why I’m so upset at him.)

Bolding Mine.

Sneevil, let me give you a list of the truly horrendous things done in the name of Christ. Actually, it’s just one thing.
Procreation, specifically, your parent’s. I’m sure they were religious, and probably thought they were doing the world a favor by creating you. They were wrong, God, they were wrong.
You see, you are a waste of space, a waste of air. In the morning after you drag yourself out of the sheets, so stained with your own cum from the countless hours you spend jacking off that they are stiff as cardboard, do you look in the mirror and think to yourself “How can someone as stupid as myself even survive?” Do you blame your survival on God. Hon, he has nothing to do with it.
Was it a big day for you when you realized how to turn on the computer? I bet it was a huge occasion when you first registered, thinking to yourself “I will impress all of these foaming-at-the-mouth-evil-athelists! I will show them the way, the light, the truth!!! They will worship me, rever me, put me on a pedestal of light! YES!!!”
Let me tell you, you messed with the wrong people.
First off, you are self-righteous. Do you realize how disgusting and annoying you are? You are a sniveling asshole. You give Christians everywhere a bad name. I am actually very happy that in your eyes I am considered a cultist. I would never want to be associated with you or your kind.
Secondly, it takes any fucking idiot to rub together their two brain cells (I know, I know, you are very proud of them. Why, just the other day, they worked so hard you were allowed to read your Bible!) to post on this board. But it looks like even those two cells are failing you now, because the world can see what a complete half-wit cretin you are.
You are a mindless douchebag, one not even fit to spit on.

So, here is what you need to do. First, turn off the computer. Then unplug it. Now, you are going to need to people for the next part. You lay down, and get your friend (Yes, it has to be a real person, not your blow up doll. Ok, ok, you don’t have any friends. Hire someone off the street, you and I both know that you do that on a regular basis. Yes, your regular whore would work.) Ok, once you have a “Friend”, lay down and have that person pound your head repeatedly with the computer. That way, you’ll kill two birds with one stone, you’ll kill the computer, and hopefully yourself. Now, if you survive, it could only be an improvement. Anything is better than the way you are right now. If that is the case, feel free to come back and post some more.
You are undoubtedly an ignoramus, a simpleton, and nobody, not even the Great Cecil Himself will ever, ever change you. Your brand of ignorance, quite frankly, is too strong to ever be eradicated.
I only pray that you never find anybody to procreate with. That would be beyond horrible, because the only woman who would willingly choose to sleep with you probably would be from the very, very, very shallow end of the gene pool.

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standing ovation

What a nice rant…truly remarkable.

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10

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Ok, we’ll go that way then:
Since when aren’t religious leaders allowed to use their opinions as a “moral standard”? Seems to me like they do that all the fucking time. Sure, they veil it in the Bible on occaision. But there’s only, say, 5000 different interpretations of the book, each colored by the opinion of the interpreter. Hell, some of them barely even resemble the Bible anymore.

But that doesn’t make any difference to you does it? No, your shit-for-brains approach is to come in here, Bible blazing, and say our society doesn’t have the right to create moral standards.

I’d tell you to go haul your pathetic donkey-swilling fundament out of out society, but you’ve probably done this already yourself. How’s the view from whatever rock you just crawled out from under? I hope you’re having fun at the bottom end of God’s crapper. He’s a damn big guy; you must be up to your neck in shit already.

How does it feel to be immersed in holy feces? On seconf thought, you probably don’t mind, since you’re full of shit already.

Go back and mingle with the earthworms. And you know what’s great about being an earthworm? You can go fuck yourself.

I have a scalpel; do humanity a favor and use it to remove that tiny little prick of yours.

I’m going to sleep–I have no more time to waste with a cockwasher like yourself.

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A good rant Pepper, though I’m not entirely sure Snivel is worth it.

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He may not have been worth it Freak, but it sure felt good.

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Oh, my Goddess! I’m posting a fucking twenty! And I don’t say fucking lightly or give that twenty lightly either!

This poster is a total wank. A ribbon clerk. A peacock. A peanut. A boot-licker. Dweeb. Oh, Pepper me girl, we both hit this one on the head at the same time! I’m behind you 110 percent on eradicating his/her sorry ass from the board!

Waste of breath doesn’t even begin to cover it. Retroactive abortion wouldn’t even come close to deleting this slime.

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Byz, your praise and agreement means a LOT to me, because quite frankly, you are one of the best posters on the SDMB AFAIC.
And Myrr, you had an excellent rant as well.

But I forgot something in my OP. Something very important. So here it is…
:wally

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Pepper, great rant and, IMO, deserved. Although you could do without the :wally:. Just look at it, with it’s smile and wink. Almost seems as though you’re taking the whole thing lightly. (Which, judging from the OP, you’re not.) A simple “Putz” would be more fitting, I think. Or you could say that Sneevil is a weed in the beautiful garden that is the SDMB. A stain on humanity. A stain in your shorts? An unsightly wrinkle on the face of the earth. Or you could just tell Sneevil to sodomize his cat and get it over with already. In any case, terrific OP.

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Since I cut and pasted my post from the other thread–it being more appropriate to this one–one thing was left out. It is no longer expressly stated that I was referring to Sneevil, not pepperlandgirl. Not that this should be a great leap, but I wanted to state this for any who should wander in here unknowingly.

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Well thank you, sugar!

As for the flapdoodle:

You can take this as my personal mission: I will follow you, point out your folly, all over this board. I think you are a miserable twit that isn’t worth the very bits and bytes that might be used to store your sorry, lame opinions.

And, amazingly, you’ve evoked this out and out hatred in a matter of posts! I guess, in that, you should be proud. Most posters really have to work to get me so pissed off. But not you! NO! You were able to be such a stupid, lame, jerk that I ended up hating you within a few posts. I guess in that, you can be proud. But now you have to deal with me riding your ass.

Better not make any misspellings. Better not misquote anything. Better be very, very clear on every little thing you say. JFYI I’m so bitchy and particular. I have a vast vocabulary and almost 3000 books at my fingertips. I’m just saying you better be very, very precise. And clear. Because if the other posters don’t jump on you, I will. And I’m beyond a nasty bitch. Good luck, sniveling weasel. You’ll need it! I don’t think your God is going to help you. Frankly? I think He’s on my side.

Kiss of death to you,
Byz

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Jesus Byz, you are scaring ME and I’m not even the target of your anger.
Thanks God that Byz is a friend, not an enemy

Ahh, Sneevil, I feel very sorry for you. I’m small time. But now you have unlocked the wrath of Byz, I don’t think even your God can protect you.

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*makes Byz the first entry on the Do Not Fuck With List"

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Pepp, I swear, this is my mantra every morning. None of that “om nyrenge kiya renge” for me.

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Man, I always miss the fun stuff here at the SDMB.

Oh well. Pepper, I’m pretty sure you’ve managed to adequately express what I believe the feelings of many posters to be.

And Byz… well… more power to you, m’dear.

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I think I’ll refrain from flaming Snivel until he posts here.

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I don’t know why people are so afraid of me. Well, unless I don’t like you. Then I guess I can understand. :wink:

I guess we should just take bets on this slacker posting here. I’m thinking “never” or one of those sad, hit and run posts, like, “my God will flame you” or something.

I guess all we can do is wait. And giggle. Or sharpen up the fingers on the keyboard saying, “come on, tout, post… post… POST… so I can rip you up one side and down the other!”

But I know you won’t. You don’t have the balls.

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Maybe he’s just realized that he’s out of his league. In which case, he isn’t nearly as stupid as I thought he is.

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Freaky, my dear boy, I thought you were going to refrain from flaming?

Or was that pre-flame? Anticipating a wonderful feeling associated with the big event, eh?

Let the good times roll, right alongside Sneevil’s head!

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Feh, that wasn’t a flame. That was just an appetizer. The main course will be Snivel’s entrails. Accompanies by a nice red wine.