The very definition of mundane and pointless, but I just had a sneezing fit, and it occurred to me what a bizarre, surreal experience they are. I mean, I can’t think of any other routine thing in life, besides perhaps orgasm, where everything else absolutely stops, you have a strange little seizure, and then everything is normal again.
Add to that the fact that I’m a photic sneezer, and you get a guy who suddenly stops the conversation, starts sniffling and getting that distant sneezy look, and desperately looking around for a bright light to facilitate the sneeze, then has a massive convulsion…and picks the conversation back up like nothing ever happened.
I generally don’t mind sneezes (I sneeze constantly, but am rarely ever actually sick with a cold and never have the flu), but I’m pretty sure one two weeks ago landed me in the hospital!
I already had a herniated disk in my back from a sports injury and it was aching, but one massive sneeze in the shower caused me pain…it was an “Oh fuck, that hurt” moment. I was more or less ok during the day, although in more pain that before the sneeze. By the evening, though, my back and leg had tensed up into severe back spasms, I wasn’t able to sit or lie down, so I couldn’t sleep, which led to exhaustion and a couple of black outs when I tried to stand. Ended up in the hospital with a diagnosis of herniated disk, a lot of sympathy from the doctor and pain killers and a rather amazing little muscle relaxant that knocked me out cold for 16 hours straight.
Now I hold by back or lean against the wall when I feel a sneeze coming on! They scare me a little - I never want to go through that again!
I injured my sternum falling down the stairs in February. Sneezing was suddenly extremely painful. A few weeks after my injury I got a head cold. I discovered I could ward off the sneezes by concentrating on my breathing and anticipating the excruciating pain they would cause. I got through the head cold with only 2 sneezes. Then later my seasonal allergies came on, and I discovered those sneezes were sudden and irresistible. There was no way I could breath or concentrate that would make them abate. Each sneeze was spectacularly, immobilizingly painful. I’m better now, but I suggest avoiding sternal injuries if at all possible.
Minimum of 3 sneezes for me. I think I’ve made it to 12 or 13 a few times. By then, I’m usually out of air and worried about passing out, and everyone around me is laughing hysterically.
My Wife used to say ‘Bless you’ before my sneeze was done. It would stop it. I hated that. I actually asked her to stop that. Some times ya just need to sneeze.
Ahha aaa “bless you”. Err. Grumble.
I also can get the sneeze to work with a bright light. My FIL would always sneeze when he came out of a tunnel.
I have a co worker that is just over the top. She sneezes 10-12 times in a row. The first few times it happend I went over to see if needed to call 911 or something.
Me, too. Last few years, I’ve averaged ~10-15+ sneezes per ‘event’, and maybe once/week or less. Its has gotten to where, when I feel the tingly-trigger for sneezing coming on, I look for a seat/wall, and prepare for battle. Nothing I can do to reduce the numbers, and seems that trying to be more forceful does nothing at all to get that trigger gone. It is pretty scary sometimes, actually.
Afterward, my hands/feet are usually numb/tingly and my heart-rate is way above normal for few minutes. Not to mention my hands/face covered in snot with it being rather hard to get to a sink to clean up as I am off-balance somewhat due to light-headedness and such. I would not be surprised if I die from sneezing someday due to systemic overload/shock - at least that is how it leaves me feeling more often than not
A few years ago I boarded a flight from Orlando to home. I sneezed literally the entire two hour flight. I kept apologizing to my cabin mates saying it was just allergies and I wasn’t contagious. When it was finally over, my torso was actually sore. I’ve never had a “sneezing fit” like that again although I can string 10 or12 sneezes in a row pretty regularly.
Definitely TMI:
I’m kinda wondering if this is just me, but I remember a couple of times when I had a sneezing fit one of the sneezes pulled a muscle in my groin.
To be exact:
right between my bumhole and scrotum. I’m not entirely sure even if there is a muscle there. x 100
I landed myself in the hospital this way too, with a ruptured disc that had to be repaired surgically.
I already had a severely weakened lumbar spine due to weight, poor posture, poor muscle tone, etc, but it was a sneeze in front of the PC first thing in the morning that took me down.
I was afraid of sneezing for a LOONG time after that, and managed not to sneeze for about eight months straight after that particular incident. Now I’m with those who say they rather enjoy sneezing; I’m careful about which muscles tense up.
I’m a photic sneezer, too, but my sneezes are oddly contained. They dead-end somewhere north of my nostrils. There’s no AHCHOO, more like a squeaky ehgkchhht’uh. It’s a ridiculous little sound, especially coming from a rather big guy. My family makes fun of me for it, but at least I don’t wind up with snot all over my face.
George Carlin had a great bit on sneezes taking the number one priority slot when they arise.
IIRC:
“Ever notice how when you have to sneeze, everything else stops. You can be standing there, taking a piss and your brain yells out: STOP PISSING! WE HAVE TO SNEEEEEEZE NOW!”
