When I sneeze, I really sneeze hard and sometimes this can happen with virtually no warning at all. Usually this is harmless, maybe it will happen when I am standing around at work, or giving a presentation (my voice sounds really funny immediately before sneezing ). However, there is the rare moment when I sneeze when a sneeze is the last thing I want to do- such as having a mouth full of food, a bloody nose, or what happened earlier today-
I was peeing, and like many guys, was doing it standing upright. Normally this presents no problems as I have good aim and always clean up any errant splashes. However, in the middle of an after-work pee today I unleashed this huge sneeze which caused my entire body to jerk violently. :eek:
First time I’ve ever had to clean pee off of the ceiling in the bathroom :eek:
Any other dopers have similar sneeze-related mishaps?
I was sitting in a study area at college once, sharing a table with a complete stranger. I was just getting over a cold, and I suddenly sneezed like crazy, spraying wads of mucus through my fingers all over the table. At least it wasn’t a good-looking girl.
funny you mentioned the bathroom sneeze.
a few years ago a coworker kinda staggered out of the bathroom, he had a bruise beginning smack dab in the middle of his forehead. when i asked what happened, he said he was using the urinal. he had a rather bad cold and was using the pipe leading to the urinal as a head rest while he went.
a sneeze snuck up on him and of course his head whipped back on the ahhhhh; and clunked right into the pipe on the …choooooo. he staggered back a bit, still managing to aim (apparently he did not let go), and was hoping not to pass out. he said he def. saw stars.
we all had an instant picture of him passed out on the floor like a bizarre water feature. i still laugh.
he had quite the bruise when the colouring came in on his forehead.
It’s wise to do everything you can to keep from sneezing if you’re running to the loo for a sudden IBS attack. Sometimes, the old butt cheeks just can’t clench enough. Allergies + IBS = Icky mess.
Pretty much any situation is bad for me. I have this weird sneeze that makes me hyperventilate for about a minute or so (particularly bad when I’m driving as I get a little dizzy). If anyone’s around they immediatly start talking about CPR and whipping out asthma inhalers. I’ve stopped large conferences cold with my sneezes…
Everything you’ve heard about the Tokyo subways at rush hour is true. In comparison, sardines get luxury accomodations. If you have your hands at your sides, it’s simply not possible to bring them up to your face. You’re packed in that tightly.
Which brings us to sneezing. If you can’t bring your hands up, you’ve got the choice of nailing the person next to you directly in the face, trying to face downward and getting your shirt (and probably the shirt of the person in front of you) soaked, or facing skyward and giving the whole train a shower.
There are few feelings more unpleasant than a cool mist on the back of your neck coming about five seconds after hearing some unseen commuter let fly.
In college a few of my friends and I were at a restaurant having a late snack after a really nice lecture given by a fairly well known artist. In walks my photo professor and the artist, they see us and come over to say hello. I had just taken a bite of food and so I was going to just smile and shake hands when achoo, I sneezed and sprayed food all over the artist. Made quite the impression I did.
My worst TMI sneeze actually happened just the other night, and my husband and I are still chuckling about it. Stonebow was sitting in the chair at the desk, and I had walked by on my way to wash up for the night. We were talking, so I stopped and sat down in his lap, astride him, actually, facing him while we chatted. The two older children were sitting up on our bed, talking with us. A couple minutes into the conversation, I felt a gigantic sneeze coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was one of those eye-bugging, head-reverberating sneezes. It was loud and forceful.
Now, I am a mother of 3. In other words, I’ve had big fat babies weighing down on my pelvic floor and bladder. Do you people know what happens when moms sneeze? Of course you do, and it did. Sitting right there in front of him and the children, I sneezed and peed on my husband. He didn’t realize it at first, but the look on my face clearly told him something was amiss. Then the, “Jesus Christ! Are my pants wet?” was blurted out. I was so embarrassed, and I apologized profusely. We consider it our once and only foray into “water-sports”. :o
The uh…forces generated by the contraction of abdominal, pelvic, and well…associated muscles in the female are nothing to sneeze at…I was definitely impressed by my wife’s “Super Whammy Koegels” to the point of near tears when she had one of those wall shaking AHHHCHOOS during an intimate moment.
But I could go for one of those little feminine kerchoos…
During high-school, a classmate of mine was kissing his girlfriend when… Well, he didn’t actually sneeze, but someone else who was with them made a comment with the intent to make him laugh and ruin the kiss. However, while he did manage avoid laughing, he did snort. :eek: Immediately, he broke off the kiss and quickly turned away. I have no idea if his girlfriend ever found out how bad it was; how close she came to being temporarily fused to her boyfriend by the huge, thick mass of snot that hung from his nose to his chin. :eek: Truly horrendous!
). However, there is the rare moment when I sneeze when a sneeze is the last thing I want to do- such as having a mouth full of food, a bloody nose, or what happened earlier today-