Clearly one of those “LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!” pieces of information. Not a visual this man can handle…
Sneezing and putting half my brain fluid on the inside of my motorcycle helmet.
A couple weeks ago, I was bent over the sink, innocently brushing my teeth. And then I sneezed. I had been working in the yard a lot over the past 3-4 months and at the moment of sneeze, my back siezed up.
I had to go lay down flat for about a half an hour before I could stand up straight again. Went to the doctor; many muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatories later… I’m still having minor spasms, but they’re getting better.
Stupid sneeze.
I’d also have to say that the worst time to sneeze is while driving. I fear the day that one of my sneezes will just happen to occur at the precise moment the guy in front of me has to suddenly slam on his brakes. Even worse is that I am a “power sneezer”, and if the energy from one of my sneezes could be harnessed I could light up a small town for at least a week. My sneezes sometimes leave me dizzy and seeing stars, a condition that is not good to have when you’re in heavy traffic.
Right after having a nosebleed. I sneeze out blood clots the size of grapes.
<shudder>
Speaking from experience, I can say…
During a Pap smear.
You or the doctor. Either one sounds nasty.
Damn, Beadalin, that made me wince!
For me, it’s worst to sneeze mid-stride. 'Cause I’ll pee. Just a teeny bit, but that’s just too much.
blink
blink blink
oh… gad…It hurts to think of it… I had broken a rib, and work with a lot of dust around. I had to learn Zen sneezing. Being a rather exlposive sneezer to start with, this had to be learned immediately.
It starts… oh sweeet Jeeeezus i’m going to sneeze… Tighten all muscles uniformly (to distribute load?) close eyes . open mouth and lungs wide. Allow sneeze to happen without making a sound, keep lungs empty till series passes. relax slowly. Wipe sweat from brow and tears from eyes … instruct co -workers to stop laughing and go away.
While applying make up or while changing someone’s poopy diaper.
I had an acquantance whose sister wrecked “because she sneezed”. Bear in mind this was a very young driver at the wheel of a huge ass SUV, who was talking on the cell phone and trying to light a ciggarrette at the same time. Yeah, it was the sneeze.
After I read that, I asked my husband (who always asked permission to sneeze (trying to be silly) until I started saying “no”) if he’d ever been in so little control of a vehicle that a simple sneeze would cause an accident so severe that he had to be cut out of the vehicle (the SUV mentioned above was TOTALLED). He responded by admitting he used to, after sneezing in the car, mention that he used to dream that one day he’d die in a wreck he caused while sneezing. It apparently freaked the girlfriend of the time out, so he stopped saying that.
I must admit I was a bit relieved to not sneeze during the ‘pushing’ part of labor.
And sneezing while throwing up in the tub and evacuating the escape hatch on the pot is no fun at all.
If you have sciatica sneezing can be extremely painful - been there done that …
Blocked sinuses and sneezing are no fun at all …
Sneezing while your cat is asleep on your lap - don’t even go there
During sex is just funny. It’s afterwards that you want to avoid, if you’re female.
He’s on top, we’re cooing and generally glow-basking when ACHOO!
Everything in my bits, including him, went flying out. I got happy fluids four feet away.
I think we laughed for an hour, but it’s not something I want to repeat. He also likes making me laugh. It does approximately the same thing, but at a fraction of the distance.
Yeah, it wasn’t pleasant.
My sneezing style involves a great intake of breath before the actual sneeze, and that wound up warning the doctor enough that she sat up and pulled out the… whatsit, scraper thing. So at least I didn’t end up with an internal stab wound.
Total TMI. FOR REAL:
The speculum shot out and fell on the floor. We had to start the whole process over, once everyone (me, doctor, med student) were sure I was done sneezing.
It’s a little weird to hear a doctor at Planned Parenthood say, “You know, you think you’ve seen everything, and then a surprise comes along.” Thanks, doc.
Terrorist holds gun up to your head.
Says “If you sneeze, I pull the trigger”.