*Snicker* Should I tell her??

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

You know how a lot of Christians are prejudiced against each other? There are “right” branches of Christianity and “wrong” branches? Well, I’m not going to debate the correctness of any of this, I just want to share something terribly amusing that happened this morning and ask if anyone else agrees or has any suggestions on what I should say.

As I’ve ranted about in the past, I carpool with a very religious lady who is always looking out for new (and, in this case, not so new) Apocalyptic theories to latch on to. This lady is the daughter of a Methodist preacher and a former Methodist preacher’s ex-wife. This morning she was telling me about this wonderful old book she was reading written in the 1800’s by an evangelist named E.G. White. I thought, “That name sounds familiar.” She told me what a great book it was, how Mr. White had used Biblical numerology to prove the pope was Satanic and that the world was supposed to have ended in 1830. Methinks, “1830? That sounds familiar.” If this terrific evangelist used the bible to prove the world should have ended in 1830, she says, then we are on borrowed time!

She goes on to explain how the book proves that having the Sabbath on Sunday is an extension of Roman pagan sun worship and the Sabbath belongs on Saturday just as God told the Jews. I barely suppress a giggle at this point. Finally, she goes on to talk about another evangelist discussed in the book named William Miller. Tee hee hee hee. To make matters even more amusing, she begins speculating how this Miller could be an ancestor of hers because she has Millers in her family tree and he was from the Philadelphia area, same as her family. I just smile and nod knowingly. (Of course, this is the same person who thought Diamond Dallas Page, the WCW wrestler, was the son of her ex-husband.)

Once at work, I pull up the web to double check my suspicions. Yup, she’s reading a book written by Ellen G. White, founder of the 7th Day Adventists.

From [:

Apr 28, 1843 Although this date was not officially endorsed by the Millerite leadership, it was a popular belief among William Miller’s followers that the Second Coming would take place on this day. (Festinger p.16)
Dec 31, 1843 Many Millerites expected Jesus to return at the end of 1843. (Festinger p.16)
Mar 21, 1844 William Miller, leader of the so-called Millerite movement, predicted through careful calculation that Christ would return sometime between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844. He gathered a following of thousands of devotees. After the failure of Jesus to show up during this window, the cult experienced a crisis of faith and in the confusion began reinterpreting the prophecy and aggressively proselytizing. (Gould p.49, Festinger p.16-17)
Oct 22, 1844 It’s Miller time again! Rev. Samuel S. Snow, an influential Millerite, predicted the Second Coming on this day. The date was soon accepted by Miller himself. On that day, the Millerites gathered on a hilltop to await the coming of Jesus. After the inevitable no-show, the event became known as the “Great Disappointment.” (Gould p.49, Festinger p.17)
1845 The Second Coming according to the Second Adventists, a group that formed from the remaining hardcore members of Miller’s cult. The Second Adventists were the forerunners of the Seventh Day Adventists (Kyle p.91)
1846 Another Second Coming according to the Second Adventists. (Kyle p.91)
1849 Yet another Second Coming according to the Second Adventists. (Kyle p.91)

To a lot of rabid fundies, 7th Day Adventists are about on par with Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, etc. So should I tell this proselytizing pastors’ daughter and wife that she’s reading and preaching the enemy? And if so, what would be the funniest way to do it?

(This morning she was telling me how distraught she was over the Alaska Airlines plane crash and she couldn’t sleep until she read from this book because it brought her comfort. So I’m thinking tomorrow morning I should ask her, “So, did you read any more of your 7th Day Adventist book?” That might be enough to set her to sputtering. Or should I just wait and see what happens when she gets to the end of the book? Do you think it would have a bio page for Ms. White?)

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

[url=“http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/home.htm”]The Kat House](http://members.home.net/criskity/end2.htm}A Brief History of the Apocalypse[/url)
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2

Tell her Ellen G. White was the founder of the 7th Day Adventists, when she gets going on this book. Tell her that her father would be appalled that she was reading that book.

Give her printed copies of your research from the web right after telling her.

Do you really hate her?
Give her name and address to the 7th Day Adventists, and tell them she is interested in their teachings,after doing the above.

3

Ooo, hate is a strong word, I’m just sick and tired of her thinking she so dang smart. I’m just evil enough to want to burst her holier-than-thou bubble.

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

The Kat House
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4

Side note: My brother sent some religious nuts to my house, telling them I was interested. He lived a half a block away at the time. He used to think it was funny.

Every time he moves I send them a letter giving them his new address. He wonders where they get his new address all the time. Who had the last laugh there?

I’m only your wildest fear, from the corners of your darkest thoughts.

5

It’s well known that “wrong branch” Christians can’t use HTML codes, either.
How do you think real Christians do it?

[heal the sick] Christopher Reeves [/heal the sick]

Hey! It worked during the Super Bowl!

Smilies, smilies, in a post
Which one do I hate the most?
Smirks and frowns and evil grins
Rolling eyes that really spin
They stick their tongues out if you please
Who the hell first thought of these?
Smilies, smilies, in a post
Which one do I hate the most? – Neuro-trash grrrl

6

To answer the OP question : abso-freakin-lutely.

So many Christians do not understand that it is not their place to judge others. It is Gods, and by judging they put themselves in that place. Christ said judge not lest you yourself be judged, and also let the one without sin throw the first stone. This is not taught enough in our churches nor preached in private enough to one another.

Knock her down a peg or two Gr8Kat.

“Solos Dios basta” . . . but a little pizza won’t hurt.

7

Gr8Kat, I’d tell her. I really don’t think it matters what your motive is. It will probably shut her up and it will hopefully make her think about what she really believes.

I used to call myself non-denominational but now it’s anti-deniminational.

My Jesus fish can beat up your Darwin fish but forgives it instead.

8

Thanks for fixin’ the sig, Padeye. You were givin’ squids a bad name.

I love OpalCat.

But if you vote me “Smiley Master”, I’ll hunt you down, slit your stomach and dance upon your steaming entrails.

Yer pal,
ChiefScott

9

Gr8Kat–I think you should tell her in the Southern Belle way–the mean kernel of truth surrounded by so much sweetness that you look like an angel and she looks like an idiot!
To wit,

“Oh, honey, I have been so interested in that book you were telling me about. I know how important it is to you that you truly follow Christ. Isn’t it just amazing to find someone who teaches truth so well?”
(She’ll be all puffed up by now and nodding and agreeing!)
After you told me about how much you just LOVED this book, I took a few minutes and looked him up on the internet. I know you’re going to want to read the rest of his material. All you have to do is call the Jehovah’s Witnesses and they’ll be so glad to give you some material on the founder of their faith. They just LOVE to visit and talk about the Rev. Miller!

Then you can smile sweetly! Just keep on smiling while she sputters away!

Have fun!

10

Chief Scott, you are one sick puppy; I like that in a Squid!

Gr8kat, I’m Christian, and after reading your post all I can say is:

“Lawsy, Lawsy, Lawsy, umpteen million Christians and you get tweedle-dee, the wonder-dummy!”

Christians like her give Christians like me a bad name. Sigh. We come in all shapes, sizes and mental capacities.

VB

The ways of cats and little girls are mysterious.

11

Tweaking religious people can be fun, especially when you can use their words against them.

I don’t know how wide-spread this is, but in my area there are lots of television commercials for free, no obligation (except for that little not burning in Hell part) bibles for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I had a bad though after seeing them for the first time. What if…

Me: {dials toll-free number}
CJCLDS: Good afternoon.
Me: Hi, I was calling about the free Bibles.
CJCLDS: Certainly, my son. Would you like one?
Me: Just a moment.

(yelled to an imaginary person supposedly in the room with me) Yo, Putrid! How many Bibles do we still need for the burning? Three? Cool.

(back to the phone) Can you send three of them?
CJCLDS: click

-BrainWeasel

Squeaks from BrainWeasel’s Cage
http://brainweasel.home.att.net

12

Which one is worse; the person who looks down on others or the person who takes pleasure in knocking down others?

Just be honest with her. Let her know what she’s reading and let her know that you do not enjoy those kind of conversations. Be kind, but firm. You’ll feel better about yourself and eliminate a problem at the same time.

You can stand tall without standing on someone. You can be a victor without having victims. -Harriet Woods-

13

If you really want to stir the pot, tell her that if you add up all the Roman numerals in the name “ELLEN GOULD WHITE” (counting the W as 2 V’s and the U as V), you get 666!

But where were the Spiders?

14

I’d do it. A nice blunt “so you’re joining the Jehovah’s Witnesses, hmm” should do it. :slight_smile:
– Sylence

If a bird doesn’t sing, I’ll wait until it sings.

  • Tokugawa Ieyasu
15

Proof Barey is Satan:

Take CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR–change all U’s to V’s
CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR–take out all letters except Roman numerals
C V V L D I V–convert to Arabic values
100 5 5 50 500 1 5–add them

666

Tell your friends.

“War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.”

16

That’s Barney, of course.

17

I am neither Barey nor Barney, thanks.

Yer pal,
Satan

18

I’m probably worse, but it’s just been a long 5 years working with this lady and listening to her twisted, bizarre religious beliefs. And I admit, I’m a little afraid of her. Not only has she tried to have God “curse” co-workers in the past, but I’m afraid she’ll start trying to tell me I’m disabled because of my lack of faith or because my dad was a bad person (sins of the father being visited on the son or some such nonsense). I just wanted to take advantage of being able to beat her at her own game. Sigh I probably won’t say anything, though. I am afraid of incurring her wrath, of her shooting the messanger for telling her, no matter how nicely, that she’s made a big mistake.

She may not be as smart as she likes to think she is, but she’s no dummy either. She’ll probably figure it out and let the matter drop. I’ll just have to be content with chortling softly to myself.

(Can I share this story? This morning she came in to work about 10 minutes late with the excuse that she was downstairs visiting with the receptionist. A few minutes later, the receptionist called me to see if she was coming in today because the receptionist hadn’t seen her yet. See why this lady makes me nuts enough to want to do something evil to her??)

Gr8 “Thinks evil thoughts but too chicken to act on them” Kat

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

The Kat House
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19

Go get her Gr8kat!

And I agree with the 'you liked them so much I looked them up…Do you know that is the founder of the seventh-day adventists??"

Make sure she isn’t driving next to a cliff at the time though!

-Frankie

“Mother Mercy, can your loins bear fruit forever?/Is your fecundity a trammel or a treasure?”
-Bad Religion