First of all, I must apologize to stargazer at my totally eraneous affront.
That being said, I was the one damaged the most by the exploding cow. It lead directly to my falling into the trap I had set for Tygr.
This is a snowball fight not an excuse for throwing a party. After my revenge, I might consider taking up your offer but not before. My honor:) is at stake here.
Now about that magical force field…
::despite being currently 500 miles from home, he quickly realizes he leapt into the wrong hot tub, and dives into the party tub the next snow fortress over.::
Well…it was dark and I was cold and, damnit, snow fortresses look alot alike. Now, about that drink…
Oh, and I bought along a few snow balls in case Wolverine tries anything funny!
Ooohh…is that a knot in my back?
Zambonis (Zambonii ?) are notoriously slow. They are also made for ice, not snow. Thereby, Spritle eventually shows up.
[truth be told, he was out all day Wed. taking 10 week old son to get MANY shots!! I don’t know who was in more pain, son or mom.]
Hmmm… Drink of my choice? Masseuse? NO NO NO NO NO!!! This is a snowball fight! there will be plenty of time for partying when I whup up on y’all!
<<Spritle begins ordering the ACME Earth Drill>>
Good luck spritle. I tried to order a microwave gun to melt the snow fortress, but what with the holidays and all, amazon.com claims it won’t deliver before Xmas. Damn this e-commerce!
Pity about the shots, I go through that tomorrow with my 6-month old. She recovers quickly, mom - not so quickly. Maybe if those inside the fortress don’t surrender we can threaten to vaccinate them. Bwa-ha-ha-ha…
:: pcubed sets up giant speakers aimed at snow fortress. plays <insert your least favorite band name here> at full volume.
if you can’t beat 'em, annoy 'em.
:: pcubed packs well-insulated cooler with snowballs. slinks off to Austrailian outback to settle score with those Survivor weenies.
::Wolverine travels back in time to before snow fortress was built and said magical force field existed.::
::Puts himself in crygenic sleep along with an arsenal of snow balls.::
::The Present. Wolverine wakes up inside of force field ready to do damage.::
I got you now stargazer!
oh no, don’t add more snow to the walls of my snow fortress! Whatever will I do? :rolleyes:
hmm, maybe I’ll hire Wolverine as a contractor!
::While stargazer is being sarcastic, Wolverine sneaks up from behind and gives a lengty whitewash worthy of any political campaign.::
My name is Wolverine, and you killed my sense of pride.
::Louder, with more vigorous rubbing of snow.::
My name is Wolverine, and you killed my sense of pride.
::Shouting, with full force rubbing in of the snow.::
My name is Wolverine, and you killed my sense of pride!
::As he runs away, Wolverine turns around quickly launches out one dreaded, yellow snowball.::
THWACK!!
Ah, now that I’m done with the revenge business I don’t know what to do.
::A howler monkey enters.::
“Ya know, you’d make a great Dread Pirate Roberts.”
Hmmm!
::watches current events unfold on closed-circuit 60" plasma-screen tv with digital stereo sound::
::mixes extra drinks for any other Florida dopers assembled in the 75 degreeF heat::
::returns to rocking chair and relaxes::
::readjusts bathing suit::
::picks small rock out of open-toed sandal::
::turns to AETBOND417::
Is this fight getting weird or what?
::mulls over possibility of getting hit with same FedEx’d snowball bomb, what with the time-travel and all::
Nah.
::dumps more ice over AETBOND417::
brrrr!
:hops into the shower to rinse the yucky yellow snow off, then jumps into the hot tub to warm up:
yeah, yeah, Wolverine, you got me back fair and square. Now come join the party already, willya?
And cheers to screech-owl and the other Florida dopers!
::digs into snowball stash set aside for Wolverine::
Damnit! You knocked over my drink.
Whap! whap! whappity! whap! whap! Oops…I think I hit the monkey with that last one…
Let’s see, we’ve had:
[li]Time travel[/li][li]Howler monkeys[/li][li]Trebuchets[/li][li]Hot tubs (both regular and decoys)[/li][li]Snow fortresses with magical force fields[/li][li]Mini-trebuchets armes with snowballs sent by Fed-Ex[/li][li]Lots of booze[/li]
Nope, sounds like an average SDMB snowball fight.
Suddenly, everyone in the “impenitrable” fortress hears a rumble in the distance. Actually, it’s more of a feeling. The source can’t be located, but it seems to be getting closer… closer. MY GOD! WHERE CAN IT BE COMING FROM???
The Earth begins to split apart beneath the fortress as Spritle has fitted the Zamboni with a big honkin’ drill bit.
Spritle, meanwhile wonders if his calculations might be a bit off and he’s actually tunneling directly underneathe the heated olympic sized swimming pool.
Wait’ll they get a load of me! Heeeeeer’s Spritle!
:: Blearily awakens upon hearing his name. ::
Huh? Wha? Geez, last I remember was my 12th Black Russian and the lovely Inga’s soft hands…
:: Sees time machine and Zamboni-drill ::
Oh, did somebody start up the snowball fight again?
:: Looks at Inga, then looks though force-field and sees Wolverine howling in frustration and beating his fists impotently on the outside of the snow-fortress. ::
Hey, Wolvie! 
Sorry, buddy, but Inga here has gotten me past such petty concerns as pounding yer narrow hiney into sno-blivion! I’m gonna let one of these other characters step up and give you your due thrashing.
Hey stargazer! Great party! I’m gonna have to figger out how to show my appreciation…
Now, where’d I put that mistletoe…? 
::Spritle has missed the Olympic-sized swimming pool, but he drills right into the time machine and suddenly disappears.
He finds himself in the 14th Century, the most bloody boring century in the history of Earth. And he’s drilled through the important bits of the time machine, so he’s STUCK.::
OUCH!
::Spritle plans his cunning return::
::sits soaking in the Hot Tub, personal masseuse working away at all her knots, sipping a Mimosa
::smiles at stargazer’s foiling of everyone else’s attempts to attack the impenetrable snow fortress
“Thank you stargazer, for allowing me in here. That hell out there was too much for me to handle!”
::swoons and returns to her massage and mimosa::
Hmmm… Who is that I see?
What an interesting twist of fate this is.
'Scuse me, Mr. Wells, could you do me a bit of a favor?
::Finally, allows himself to relax and enjoy the Hot Tub and masseuse::
This is so much better than a snowball fight.
No, not really.
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
::Melpomene, spritle, and stargazer get quick snowballs in their faces. Wolverine runs off laughing.**::
Wait, spritle’s still back in time. I had meant for that to hit Tygr.
::The mighty Chicken Lover arrives, armed with magical forcefield-penetrating snow. Laughs manically and heads for stargazer’s fortress…::