Drops snowball in pants for not using preview first!
Wait a minute, where did all the booze go?
:: pcubed returns to human form, somehow ended up in a snowbank. regrets the whole elf business, really regrets the splinters on (censored) that resulted from the elf business.
:: pcubed has raging hangover, wishes it wasn’t snowing quite so loudly. vaguely recalls tipping swedish guy to perform unnatural acts on fellow doper. swears off hot-tubs and liquor, well, at least for a few hours.
:: trudges off to town hall to check the permits for stargazer’s fortress. orders giant Acme magnet, will suck rivets out of steel beams reinforcing the fortress once he figures out a way to circumcise -er- circumvent the forcefield. calls Geordi LaForge, he’ll know.
Oh, stargazer, you’re in for it now. I TOLD you to use the teflon rivets!!
::hops off snow making equipment and checks to see when the bar opens::
haha, I thwarted you again! Who says I used steel rivets? I used magic glue. It’s as strong as… as… as Superman! And none of that wimpy kryptonite weakness, either! (gimme some credit, willya?) And you only put the itching gelatin stuff in the decoy hot tubs. I’ve got all the others under lock and key!
My masseuses (masseusi?) and I are up here having a good time… gin fizzies, hot toddies, various states of undress…
The invitation’s still open… 
Shows up late, (as usual) and begins administering I.S.A.'s* to anyone near him.
*(I.S.A. See here for explaination.–> http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=50585 )
::tosses gloves, hops into hot tub::
aaaahhhhhhhhh! A little schnaaps, if you please!
Decoy hot-tubs? Sheer genius.
I did have some luck down at town hall though. It appears that your contractor used an inferior grade of snow, leaving it suceptible to snow-rot. Won’t last 30 years I tell you! Who’s laughing now?
:: pcubed grabs small dog, ties sawed-off antlers to its head with black thread.
I pummel and pummel and pummel and pounce.
And does it do damage? No way, not an ounce.
I hit them with floozers, cambarbles and loofers
I smash them with humquats, jefastles, and ploofers
Yet they throw, they throw, they throw, and they throw
They throw that gawd-awful deep yellow pee snow
I’ll show them how to win a big snowball fight
I’ll show them I will, show them this night
:: pcubed slithers off to buy a big microwave gun. Let’s see the snow fortress withstand that!
Wha…? A FedEx package for me?
::reads aloud::
Merry Chriskwanzkah to screech-owl from Tygr.
Hmmm?
::rustle, rip, tear, ow, damn paper cut, stupid strapping tape::
BAM!!
SPLOT!!
<image of screech-owl with snow on face>
thoughts censored
more thoughts censored
Should’ve seen that one from a mile away…
::I walk out of the house and fall inthe snow, get up and I get bumbarded with ten snow balls, to have only one reply::
Me:Winter Sucks!
Staggering out of the bar, Spritle spies something on the ground…
Whatsh thish here? Keysk, keysh to the Zam, Zamb, Zamboni. I guesh I’ll take her for a little shpin.
Hummmmmmmmmmmm
Ish that an impenitribble shnow fortresh I shee up ahead?
Spritle hits the accelerator and, with one eye closed, heads in the general direction of the fortress. He can be heard saying “I love you, man. You’re my besht friend in the whole world.”
Yes, Spritle combines the two worst drunks in the world, the one eye drunk and the “best friend” drunk.
::sits gazing at the wall around the hot tub, wondering how long she’s been sitting in the warm water
::suddenly recalls Tygr’s request for more Brandy and leaps out of the tub, charging out into the snow
::emerges from the Lodge and is smacked with one of the snowballs meant for Bob Saget and realizes she hasn’t put her warm clothes back on over her swimsuit
::turns and heads sheepishly for the Lodge, chugging Brandy as she goes::
Yay, spritle’s coming to see me! 
What’s yer drink of choice? I’ll have it ready for you when you get here. And which gender do you prefer for your masseuse?
And hey – whatever happened to Coldfire? I mean, he got hit with the first snowball. I hope he’s not planning an attack or something, because I’ve got his deluxe suite all ready for him. oh, Coldy…
oh, and Tygr: sorry, I don’t do the massages myself, but there’s still enough going on here that I don’t think you’ll mind.
Melpomene, get on up here!
What do you two drink? All I have to do is snap my fingers. 
::Hears stargazer calling her name and frantically throws on a robe and some slippers, heading out to the other Lodge, calling out-
“Draw me up a nice Black Russian, will ya star?”
::Races to the Lodge, masseur tagging behind::
snap
ready when you are, Melpomene!
::Awakens from his fortress of solitude, aka the shed. Protected from others attacks he has but one thought on his mind. Revenge.
He leaps up and puts on his stealth gear with the invisibility cloak. Wolverine then heads outside.
Luckily, Tygr was passing by the shed and fell quickly. Some recently prepared yellow snow pummeled until Tygr fell into a state of crying. Feeling pity, Wolverine left to go get revenge on stargazer.::
While stargazer’s force field is permeable to light, I doubt it is to air. If it was permeable to air, water could be dumped from above and frozen over the castle. Instead, I bet there is a pipe somewhere that pumps air into the compound. If I could crawl in there, stargazer won’t know what hit him.
her. I’m a her, not a him. Just so’s you know.
And you’re forgetting about my magical powers! Pipe? I don’t need no stinkin’ pipe! It’s a magical forcefield, not glass or plastic or something. I control what gets through and what doesn’t, so your stealth garb is no good anyway!
And why do you want to exact revenge on me? I’m being nice and inviting everyone up to my fortress for a big hot-tub-and-massage party, with open bar. That includes you! Come join us!
now, getting back to the party… who’s here already?
newbie enters and looks around snowball battle field
quote:
I’m being nice and inviting everyone up to my fortress for a big hot-tub-and-massage party, with open bar. That includes you! Come join us!
Hmmm seems to me that security is very lax!
turns to leave
(gets pummuled by snowballs)
no, see, the forcefield is controlled by me. Y’all can come knock on it, and I decide who gets in and who doesn’t. So it’s VERY secure.
I extended a general invitation, but I don’t have to let anyone in if they’ve been nasty to me! Of course, if they make the appropriate recompense…
Hell, as long as everyone promises to be nice to the other partyers and not to launch an attack from inside, I’ll let you in!
(geez… when did I get so powerful? And where’s Tygr?)