Snowboarder Bo: Enough with the fucking quarry

[Morgenstern]

Maybe Polerius will come along and help others with this little gem.

@Polerius

Below is a script for people who use Greasemonkey in Firefox or Chrome.

Replace any string on the SDMB. Especially useful for frequently occurring annoying phrases. (Especially powerful if you happen to know regular expressions, but still useful if you don’t)

Just edit the “var replacements = {” entry with things you would like to see replaced.

In the two examples below, the quarry-throwing phrase is always replaced by “LOL”. In the first example using a simple string, and in the second example using a regular expression in order to catch several possible versions of the phrase.

// ==UserScript==
// @name           Replace any string on SDMB
// @namespace      Polerius
// @description    Replace any string in threads on SDMB
// @include        http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/*
// ==/UserScript==

(function() 
 {
     var replacements = {
         "Let's go to the quarry and throw stuff down there"                              : "LOL",
         "Let's go (down )?to the quarry and throw (shit|stuff) (down|in) (there|here)"   : "LOL"
       };

     var allPosts    = document.getElementsByClassName('alt1');

     for (var i = 0; i < allPosts.length; i++)
     {
	 var kids = allPosts*.children;
	 for (var j=0; j<kids.length; j++)
	 {
	     if (kids[j].id.match(/^post_message_/))
	     {
		 var newHTML = kids[j].innerHTML;
		 //alert(newHTML);
		 for (var old_str in replacements)
		 {
		     newHTML = newHTML.replace(RegExp(old_str,"mg"), replacements[old_str]);
		 }
		 kids[j].innerHTML = newHTML;
	     }
	 }
     }
 })();