So, I get up this morning. The sun is shining brightly, birds are singing, yada, yada, yada. I’m already in a less than happy mood, as the night before, I had declared my undying love for the only man I have ever met whom I could even possibly fathom spending my life with, and got less than what I expected for a response. (Oh, you like me a lot? Well gee, thanks. I pour out my heart to you and you say, “cool” and then, “I like you a lot.” Jesus tit.)
So, as I said, I awake, glance at the clock, I’ve overslept. By an hour. So I couldn’t shower. That was nice. I enjoyed that.
I throw on some clothes, pull my hair back, jump in the car, and I’m off on my hour-long drive to work. I have to stop for gas. I pull up to the pumps, and only one regular unleaded pump is functioning this morning. Another car pulls up on the other side. I was there first. We both get out of our respective cars, I reach for the pump, and whom should happen to snatch it away at the last moment, but my old high school computer science teacher, whom I still, to this day, feel a burning hatred for. He says, “gee, were you going to use this?” I reply, “well gee, yeah, I was.” He says, “oh…ah well, you always defer to your elders, right?” Whatever. Jerk.
So, I buy the more expensive premium instead, being in a hurry and all. I continue on my way.
I arrive at work, somehow I made it on time, I jump on the elevator, and this fucker stands in front of me and wedges his gargantuan ass right up against my abdomen. Gee, I’m so turned on just thinking about it. Thanks a lot, asshole, I could barely breathe with you crushing me up against the wall. I got to ride 17 floors like that, the perv must have really enjoyed his position, considering how many people had exited and how much space he had in front of him. Creep.
I get to my office. I work for about an hour. Then, we have absofuckinglutely nothing to do for the next two hours. So, I sit and surf the net, not really being able to concentrate on reading anything, nothing was entertaining me, so basically I sat and stared at the monitor in a daze, clicking links randomly.
I go to lunch, my friends could only stay a half hour, so I’m left alone for the rest of my break. My mind turns to the events of the night before, and I’m reduced to a sobbing mess in the middle of a crowded restaurant. I love it when that happens.
I go back to work, my eyes red and swollen. I sit down, and the office assistant brings me a letter. It’s from my ex-landlord’s lawyer. I’m being sued. This launches another bout of crying, and everybody in the office is staring at me. Nobody asks if I’m okay.
The end of the day finally comes. I look forward to just curling up in my bed immediately upon returning home. I ride the shuttle bus out to the parking lot to get in my car and drive home. My car’s air conditioner is broken and it was 94 degrees with insane humidity.
I stop by my parents’ house on my way home to have supper with them. My grandmother is there. She says, in a bright, cheery voice, “Mishell! I’m sorry to hear about your cat!” My cat? Yes, my cat was dead. MY GOD DAMN FUCKING CAT IS DEAD. My father wasn’t even going to tell me. He was going to wait for me to ask where my cat is, hoping I would assume he was outside. Thanks, Dad.
So now I’m home. I go to lay out my clothes for tomorrow, and I find I don’t have anything clean. So now I have to stay up and do laundry.
This was probably a very lame rant. I don’t have the energy to make it more entertaining. I just needed to blow off a little steam.
