Um, ex is the shithead, not you. I’m still accepting applications for toy boy. 
If he’s buying, order something expensive and ask the waiter for champagne. Ask for Dom; his presence is called for.
More Advice You Shouldn’t Read:
There’s a price to be paid for fucking with your head; make sure that this prick pays it. If he cheaps out or pulls a bone head move (wouldn’t put it past this idiot to be calling to ask for gifts back or something) make sure you order red wine. It stains better when you splash it in his face. Also, parking close to the entrance for a fast getaway might be wise. Hey, its not like you liked Chinese food anyway…
I’m a little suprised you still agreed to have lunch with Shithead. I hope lunch is at least a little fun and/or interesting for you.
Tell us how it goes.
woo hoo… I’ve never been a boy toy… 
Your ex sounds like a bad movie. Why do you keep pressing rewind?
So?.. How was lunch?.. We are dying to know…
Seriously, if he’s such a prick, why bother?
As it is, I cannot make complete heads or tails from your timeline, but it seems as if he’s given you the confirmation e-mail you desired with instructions to get to the restaruant.
He finally e-mailed you at 11:00 for a lunch date and you went? I would’ve stood him up and told him I didn’t get his e-mail until the afternoon.
You realize, of course, that shithead is looking for a little afternoon delight? That’s straight from Chapter 3 of The Charming Rogue Manual, subtitled How to Get Laid without Really Trying…
I must get me a copy of this manual… Being a new boy toy and all…
Okay – back from lunch – yeah, it’s two hours later.
No actual propositioning – but when I went to give him a kiss on the cheek goodbye, he turned it into a kiss on the mouth.
And that is how you are going to leave us?.. No juicy details?.. Come on… we want to know! What did he order, what did you order? What did you talk about?.. Any mention of further ‘dates’?..
This guy, who you’ve already dubbed “Shithead,” sounds like a real jerk. He’s jerking you around and being a jerk in general.
If I were you, I’d block his e-mail address. Aren’t there other things that much more worthy of your emotional energy?
Spill it, woman! We’ve been twisting in the wind here for hours!
Sorry – my boss wants to talk budgets – back later.
Those things never work out anyway, so talk to us instead… This boy toy wants to know if he has been replaced already…
Wait - didn’t you tell him you didn’t want Chinese and didn’t know the location of the restaurant. You ended up with Chinese anyway, after all the other offenses?
It seems like he’s trying to see how far he can push it. throw him back.
StG
That was the most bizarre budget meeting evah. I’m all prepared to do battle as necessary, but okay, we could cut back a little here… Nope, his figures were already higher than what I would have asked for. I am so not used to TPTB being willing to spend money.
Anyway – lunch.
He pulled up just after I did, I went to give him a quick hello kiss on the cheek – he turned it into a hug and a couple of kisses in a more mouthular area.
We went into the restaurant, he thought long and hard about whether the table offered was okay but decided it was, sat down and started talking, the waiter came by and I hadn’t even looked at the menu yet. Turns out he’s been going to this place for years, knows the owners, etc. He knew what he wanted, I picked something out.
Lots of talk about my new job – last time I saw him was right before I started here. He seemed genuinely tickled about how much butt I’m kicking and how happy I am.
We talked some about what he’s been up to. (He’s more or less retired, not particularly by his choice.)
I asked him what it felt like being a grandfather, and we got into a whole thing about his relationship with his son. Complicated issues – it’s also about his son’s relationship with his (the son’s) mother (bf’s ex), etc. – I pointed something out about that that hadn’t occurred to him, etc.
So we’ve been there over an hour at this point – he says okay, you have to go back to work (correct) – I’ll be coming over to see my granddaughter every Wednesday, can we have lunch again (I didn’t answer one way or the other), he pays the bill, we go out, he’s looking at the stickers on my car (the “Peace” one is new, he likes it), I go to give him a kiss on the cheek, again, it turns into a full hug and a mouth kiss.
This guy was not and is not “kiss-worthy”.
He’s not even on the same planet as ‘sponge-worthy’*.
- I can only hope for the OP’s sake that he’s hung like Dumbo’s trunk so that he has at least one redeeming quality.
Mental status report:
I spent my drive home (an hour plus) meditating on my New Year’s Resolutions:
- Get a new job. (check)
- Lose 20 pounds (I’ve lost 15 – but still have three months, so I’m on track.)
- Not get my heart broken. (So far so good – let’s not backslide now.)