So I took a cab to see my brother, the imam.
But my brother had escaped to England and was recovering from a sex change operation.
So, I bought a used flying carpet, and headed back home.
But turbulence brought me down into the waters of the North Atlantic.
So, I looked around for a friendly dolphin who’d pull me to shore.
But Flipper was shark chum.
So I hitched a ride on a passing cod boat.
But then I saw that George Clooney was the captain… and right on time, the perfect storm struck annd capsized the boat.
So I swam away to avoid the whirlpool from its sinking.
But, in avoiding Charybdis, I encountered Scylla.
So I said, “Yo, Scylla - how 'bout not eating me, huh?”
But Scylla just let one of his blimps loose towards my head.
So, I asked Scylla if he’d like a copy of The Watchtower, and he fled screaming.
But then the Sharknado appeared.
So, I started singing “Farewell and adieu to ye fair Spanish ladies…” and the sharks hastened away, fearing I was Captain Quint.
But then the spirit of Ed McMahon appeared to me in a vision.
So I swam home to check my mailbox for a check from Publisher’s Clearing House.
But my mailbox had been stolen by a gang of ninja hoodlums.
So, I got a couple of handguns from my safe and went after the ninjas, because damn it, tampering with the mail is a federal offense!
But pirates killed the ninjas before I could catch up.