Threadkillers 2001!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

It’s time.

Time for all Dopers to show their mettle, and do battle with the gigantic, horrific, evil-SOB-mother of all threads.

This here, for you newcomers, is a contest. Or, as we in the biz call it, a “thingie where people compete against other people n’stuff.”

The object? Kill the thread. It’s that simple. What defines “killing?” You have to have the last post on the thread for a period of at least 24 hours. If somebody else posts within that time, you have to try again, by posting again.

Other than that, there are no rules.

Be the last poster, and earn the respect, fear, and kudos of your fellow contestants.

Last year it was particlewill. He is now forever enshrined in the Threadkillers Hall of Glory. Who will be the Super-Mega-Threadkiller-o-Doom 2001? Who knows. It may just be you.

<opens up briefcase, pulls out hat with jingly bells, two spork guns, and a spare robe, just in case>

Let’s get it on.

2

Get it on?? I can’t get it off!

3

Oooh… sporks. All I’ve got is a case of duct tape, some grenadine and a box of Trojans.

4

I’ve just got the duct tape. It doesn’t allow the
same range of sensation as the trojans…

5

Of course, duct tape has its advantages. It’s hard to tie somebody up with a condom. Unless you try very very hard.

6

If duct tape can’t fix it, it’s beyond help. :slight_smile:

7

Nah, sometimes you need a tire iron.

Tie-er Eye-errrrn.

Tar arn.

T’arn.

Tar Eye-ern.

Dammit.

I can’t say “tire iron.”

8

The purple polka dotted zebras will get you first.

9

yeah, but what are you going to use to put it back together when you break it with that tire-iron. :slight_smile:

10

Model glue. The kind that smells like oranges and gets you high.

11

The proper pronunciation of tire iron is found in the following:

Tie her on the roof rack with duct tape for a shroud.

12

The next person to post shall be cursed by a thousand un-housebroken llamas who eat glue. :wink:

13

Gettin’ it off is easy, you just need some lubrication.
Lube it up real good, pull on it a few times and it will go off in no time.
Practice it often, practice makes perfect.

14

oooh! Now you did it!

15

Well some of us don’t need practice, we just put it on like it was nothing.

16

That all depends what the definition of it, is.

17

Actually, nothing fits rather well, it’s something that might be a pain.

18

And sometimes something is nothing or next to nothing too.

19

Something next to nothing…is nothing. It’s just a fantasy.

20

But sometimes fantasies are good.