I killed three threads in a row.

If anybody cares, go to page two of MPSIMS and about the middle you will see the three dead threads with my name on 'em.

Jester, if you’re out there, I think that makes me super ultimate thread killer extraodinaire.

I slice I dice, and I can even cut through a hammer. (only 14 easy payments of $19.95)

blahblahblahblahblah

Ah, but HannibalV has you matched just a few threads up. I guess you’ll have to share the gold medal podium.

We’ll use this one as a tiebreaker. If it dies here, I win. If it doesn’t, HannibalV has to buy me some ice cream. Either way I’m a winner.

Darling…that is nothing to be ashamed of. After many senseless thread murders to my credit, I’ve come to the conclusion (for the sake of my fragile ego) that my post is just sooooooo inspired/amusing/informative/thought provoking/whatever that no one can think of anything further to say. I’ve just summed it all up.
It’s either that or I’ve ruined the thread for anyone else. ahem…sniff You see why I favor the first option.

Would you like some recoginition? An award, perhaps? I’m all for people feeling good about their accomplishments. If only I could think of something witty so you could put it in your sig and wear it like a medal. But…unfortunately, I’m not so bright.

For what it’s worth, I think you did a splendid job of killing those threads. I’m proud to be in your ranks. We could have used you back in September…
:smiley:

struuter, you are my new best friend.

If you can think of somehting that I can use as my sig, I would really appreciate it and I’d be honored to use it.

steeljaw, wear it like a badge of honor. I feel your pain, as I have laid waste to many threads myself, tossing their empty, lifeless shells along Straight Dope Boulevard. Sort of a Kevorkian touch, I guess. It takes a special breed of Doper. Welcome to our ranks.

Like our darling struuter sez, we could have used your services back in September. (hi struut! :))
Hey, at least you didn’t get anything on you in the process.

“steeljaw - when that guy gets his teeth into a thread, it’s gonna die. (Unless it can chew it’s leg off.)”

[sup](please make appropriate gender change if necessary)[/sup]

New best friend? Really? Now I’m honored.

Well, I can’t find a decent sig myself…which is why I made poor Ogre work on it for me…but I found something for you to tide you over until I’m properly inspired.
And it is fitting to your quest to become a true thread killer–a hero. Use it if it pleases you. I’ll remember you when I come across something truly wonderful.

Here you go:
‘Whoe’er excels in what we prize,
Appears a hero in our eyes.’
Jonathan Swift

Or some sex. Which is always popular. This one’s from John Ray.
‘A maid who laughs is half taken.’

Steeljaw has proven himself as a great hunter able to take care of a family. Having killed three threads he has earned the right to take a wife.

:: cuts up the carcasses of the killed threads, hands the choices bits to the elders and the heart and brain to steeljaw ::

Eat the heart to gain the courage of the thread and the brain to gain its wisdom.

:: passes the ceremonial pipe ::

:sniffs, wipes tear from cheek:

I’ve never felt more a part of the SDMB family as I do today. Who knew that a tragedy like three dead threads could bring everybody together like this?

What is this “September” thing everybody is talking about? I kind of feel like I should have been there. I took a break for a while in August and started posting again in October or November. I’m starting to feel guilty.

I’m gonna try out my sig for the first time here today. Let’s see how it goes. Just remember this is only a trial run.

:returns to devouring heart of thread:

Nice sig. I told you I wasn’t very good. You picked the best one by far.

The September reference is the monster thread that we battled for weeks. particlewill ended up taking home the head of the beast. But I must say that we who were there fought bravely amid fearful and dangerous conditions…not to mention how cold it was, but that was just me.

You would have been a welcome addition–and if circumstances ever rise again for such talents, we’ll know upon whom to call.
:smiley:

I’ve had that feeling myself. Like I was the Patron Saint of plague carriers, not Nothing.

Plague? You’re supposed to tell people if you are a plague carrier. And I’ve been married to you for three years… OH, the shame…

:wink:

YOU MURDERERS! sniff

Has one of us killed your thread, Nukeman? If ever I have, please accept my humblest apologies. I try my hardest to kill my own thread (I’ve already done it today, as a matter of fact) when possible.

And I think I speak for most of us when I say that killing a thread is not unlike hitting a squirrel with your car. You don’t mean to do it…it just runs out there at the last minute and before you can think…thump
And you’re a murderer.

sigh

I wouldn’t mention this except it’s a sig … and it’s going to be out there on the boards with your name on it over and over …

but in the phrase “chew it’s leg off,” you might want to get rid of that apostrophe.

And will I kill this thread with this post? Will I?

Thank you, delphica, for pointing out my faux pas. As a special thank you, I’ll even spare you from the guilt of killing this thread. :slight_smile:

steelie, my apologies. (Oh, and, uh, you’ve got some aorta stuck between your teeth…no…the next one…yeah, that’s it, you got it.)

From my handy (at home, not at work) Written Word book:
“Possessive pronouns that occur before the noun have these forms when singular: my, your, his, her, its.”

yeah, well… Oops. :slight_smile:

As a killer of threads myself, I’m quite intrigued by a thread where all the thread-killers of the SDMB gather to see who is the ultimate conversational void.

There can be only one!

I dunno, I’ve grown quite used to seeing my post be the last one ever to a thread–especially my own. I’ll mud-wrestle you all for the title :stuck_out_tongue:

Well, if that’s not a win-win contest, I don’t know what is… :wink:

(Now I feel weird responding to this thread, after my dramatic proclamation, out of fear that it’ll look like I’m trying to be the biggest thread killer, and hence some sort of masochistic nut. Which I’m, uh, not. No, really.)