hi steeljaw, I too was there in September, I too ate knisch, I too strove in vain to kill the thread…but you can’t kill this one! Second page on a Sunday doesn’t count!
right, since Struuter didn’t bring food this time, nor her cloak, who wants drinking chocolate, cookies and pizza for late night snacks for the night watch? (I’ve brought snausages for you DW, it’s full moon tonight).
Sorry, but I’ve been working on my intolerance of silver by gradually drinking increasing amounts of colloidal silver every day. Of course, that wouldn’t help me against a silver bullet. Not that I’m trying to give you any ideas! (damn, I can feel my teeth growing, too)
Hey! After letting the dogs out again, I just noticed a rainbow around the moon! (It’s a little overcast here.)
Oooooooo…creepy. Maybe it’s a (gulp) thready omen…
“Steeljaw–by Ginsu! Order now, quantities limited.”
Hey, I feel your pain. Don’t worry about it. (modest toe shuffle) I just tanked Chief Scott’s 3600 post party thread.
Yep, a popular, witty poster; hell, a horny sailor pleading for outrageous board sex!–I respond and the thread crashes like a pigeon hit with buckshot.
The answer is no. No you won’t. I will kill it. And then, I will eat hordes of peanut and jelly sandwiches in celebration of my victorious conquest.
At first this started out as something that I was ashamed of, but now, now it is different. I have acquired a taste for thread blood and that taste is insatiable. I will kill every thread, and every person who gets in my way. So beware, steeljaw is on the loose and his jaws are feeling particularly steely today. Steely and deadly.
I always thought that Jester was the killer of threads. No, it’s steeljaw.
I’ve inadvertantly cut down some healthy threads before their time as well. I like to think that my innate wisdom is so profound it leaves people speechless.
HEADING TO THE MIDWEST?! Gadzooks, I thought it was already here. DW, it is unbearably cold here. Even though the sun is shining, shining with all its might.
And I’m freezing.
If killing threads were a federal offense, I would be serving several lifetime sentences by now. Therefore, I object to your self-proclaimed status as “super ultimate thread killer extraodinaire.” I, quasar, the thread assasin, am the sole propietor of that lofty title.
If you have participated in threads boasting my presence, then you should have surely noted that a ridiculous amount of my posts are of the thread-killer variety. Or maybe my posts are just ridiculous and that’s why they are obviated. :rolleyes:
In any case, if you want to kill a thread, this simple tactic will suffice:
Mention the word fart in your post and then proceed to say something complementary in reference to their divine, ecstasy-inducing nature.
Something among the lines of: sensual gaseous emanation or magnificent anal fragrance. Somehow, most of the SDMB population suffers from some sort of “fartphobia,” a behavior-altering chemical imbalance that prompts them to neglect posts containing the word fart, when expressed in a “praise-a-fart” context.
In short: Praise a fart, kill a thread. This method is guaranteed by the way. Or your money back.
And yes, I declare this thread officially deceased.
What is a fart? A Magnificent gaseous ejaculation that gallantly escapes from the gravitational seduction of the oppressive anus that holds its ethereal essence captive inside its cavernous interiors.
steeljaw, I’d give you a little peck on the cheek as a morning greeting, but I think my lips would freeze to you…bbbbrrrrrr.
As for flatulation…you won’t see me talking about that. I steer clear of flatulation discussions as a rule. Pretty much just avoid the whole subject of flatulation. So, don’t worry about me…
I was only thinking of you. How could I presume that you’d want me attached like that? Having me draped on you would certainly detract from your ferocity…
You realize you’re doing just fine. What you’re feeling now is a perfectly natural development in emotional strengthening. There are phases in thread killing, you know. The first is guilt, or “Oh my god! I’m a thread killer! Look at the lifeless forms that lie in my wake!”
The second is anger, or “Aha! I thirst for the blood of innocent threads! Look at the lifeless forms that lie in my wake! Bwahahaha!”
The third is forced indifference (it comes from realizing that you don’t kill as many threads as you thought you did), or “If it dies, it dies. Who cares at this point? Anybody have any fudge?”
The fourth is denial, or “I don’t kill that many threads. Other people kill more threads than I do. I just…have a way of speaking for others.”
The final stage is acceptance, or “Yes. I’ve killed some lovely, healthy threads. It happens. It’s natural. I can’t blame myself or others. It’s all part of life.”
And then you eat the fudge. It is probably the most important part in the healing process.
