So, Charter Members, how do I get in?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

OK, so I was offline for near-as-damn-it 4 and a half years and missed the transition from free to subscription posting, but surely thats a minor detail?

I want to belong to the “Charter Member” cult. I hear they have some fantastic benefits, including a dental plan and free squid (I may have mis-heard that).

Are the rumours of the bathing in ass’s milk and vestal virgins true?

:wink:

2

{nelson muntz}HA ha![/nm}

See, first you send a small gratuity to all Charter Members (somewhere in the order of five figures each), then we take a vote and see if we want you in our exclusive club. Good luck, and I’ll be waiting by the mailbox!

3

Well, see, here’s the thing.

One of the benefits of being a Charter Member is the ability to time travel.

But in order to become a Charter Member, you need to be able to go back in time.

So it’s a bit of a quandary, you see.

4

The truth of the matter is that getting the Charter Member tag was a one time thing. You had to sign up for a paid account when they first started. In addition, you have to keep up your paid status to not lose the tag. Bottom line: it’s too late and there isn’t a thing you can do about it.

The good news is that Free Posting is Coming Soon!!!111!. It was promised to start in June or July of 2008. I know that time is running short but they only have a few more bugs to work out before they can flip that switch. It’s going to be awesome.

5

You misheard slightly. It’s not that you get free squid. It’s that the squid gets free you, because, you see, this is the squid.

Again, you’re close. You bathe in something that comes from an ass, and the vestal virgins laugh at you.

6

I, alas, missed the opportunity to join the ranks of the Glorious Few (The True Prophets and Guardians of the Light (and Darkness)), but I am curious how precisely one bathes in a vestal virgin.

(And don’t get me started on ass milk. I want no part of that. Oh, that wasn’t what you meant?)

7

Holy crap, no one told me about that!

Ahh… just like being back at school :wink:

8

That is all true but I notice that I keep my clothes when I time travel. Maybe samarm could hide in an oversized raincoat that I am wearing to travel back the the day (for a hefty fee of course).

9

It’s a lot like using Dippity-do.

10

You probably don’t want to know. It involves the reincarnation of Elizabeth Bathroy and an assortment of utensils.

It’s all part of the Squid’s grand plan.

11

Those rumors are totally false. We get hookers and blow.

Not as high quality as the stuff reserved for the moderators, of course (and they also get whips and jackboots), but still a decent perk.

12

The first rule about the SDMB Charter Member Cult, is that you do not talk about the SDMB Charter Member Cult.

13

In Soviet Union, squid eat you!

14

As a Charter Member, I’m popping in to post this as it is the requirement of Charter Members to post in all threads asking about Charter Membership.
Plus it reminds those who aren’t who to send the money to.

15

Roger that. My last dividend check paid for enough hookers and blow that even kunilou had to take a break.

16

How many more of these people do you think are going to keep falling for that “Just get under my oversized raincoat and you can be a Charter Member too” business anyway? We all know what’s in there.

17

C’mon, guys! Cthulhu was working undercover here, remember? “Mariah”? Geez…

18

I propose a new status for those who want to be Charter Members but missed their chance. “Belated Charter Member” or something.

19

You holding your breath, too?

20

Hey, you are the one who said “Cthulhu.” I never said it. Until now. Ooops…