Yes, I know that this is an odd question. How could I not know? But sometimes a change in perspective can lead us to new conclusions…
For the longest time, I assumed I lost it to my first love/kiss/screw at age XYZ. But perhaps this was mistaken programming. You see, I had always considered myself heterosexual, at least 90% so. Ergo, no matter what I had done with dudes would not “count.”
Further, according to my mistaken worldview, gays had anal sex. That was “their” sex, and unless they actually did that, they were not having sex with each other. I had never done that either, so I had never had gay sex. Simple.
But two pieces of information have entered my mind since then. One, my gay friend told me, “F*cking is something I do not do.” He said this almost derisively. I found out that many gay men just simply don’t like anal sex. So (and correct me if I’m wrong) a gay guy could say “I had him” even if he had only given him a hand job, for instance.
Two, remember the whole Bill Clinton thing, and the very wide definition they had for “sex”? If he touched her tits, that was sex, according to those rules.
Putting this all together, am I to conclude that I lost my virginity with a male my age–way back when? Or does the fooling around that young people do not “count” either? To me it was a pleasant, non-shameful experience, but I had never thought of it as “sex.”
Gay and straight dopers, please let me know what you think.