Hey, tatertot, no need to explain anything to me. Even if you did explain why you needed to be away, I still wouldn’t have the whole picture. Part of you ‘being the grownup’ means you have to make choices so that you can be in the best possible space to be you, so you can be in the best possible space to be a mom. If that means away, it means away.
I wasn’t questioning your decision to be away, just wanted to mention the idea of looking for other alternatives if that one doesn’t work well. I know how hard it can be to step back off your track and look to see if your life is headed the right way, especially when you are steering relatively blind (and often at high speed!). I have seen a lot of people suffer needlessly because they made a decision and stuck to it blindly, even though it wasn’t working, and even though the decision was made before the new situation developed fully. I was only trying to remind you to stop and listen to yourself now and then, feel out how your current choices are working, and be willing to change direction if needed. That’s all.
Again, hang in there, and feel free to email me if you like. Or not - absolutely no pressure!
I think, In my humble opinon, that “it’s a grownup decision” is far more mean than telling them the story. they are going to want to know. “it’s a grownup decision” can lead to more and more questions later on, and then making them pissed off because they’ll wonder why you didn’t tell them when they asked before.
my parents are in the middle of a MESSY and nasty breakup. my mother has been cheating on my dad with my neighbor (who is also married) she lied to me about that for months, and that made me wonder why my parents were really getting divorced. I finally heard about it through my sister, that my dad, on his way home from work, saw my mom's van and my neighbor's truck in the parking lot of a motel, went up to the room, and they were in there sitting on the bed like nothing happened. my dad then found a used condom in the trash. Hearing this not from my parents, and from my sister made me bawl my eyes out, and went into an adrenaline-enriched stupor smashing anything that had no real value to me.
I've now, because my mom lied to me more than once about this, have NO faith, trust, or love for her at all. I hope her and my neighbor are happy together.
Part of you ‘being the grownup’ means you have to make choices so that you can be in the best possible space to be you, so you can be in the best possible space to be a mom. If that means away, it means away.