So I gave eharmony a try

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I did a search on the boards, and I know that some dopers weren’t too thrilled with eharmony. But I was in an adventurous mood, and got a subscription. I’ve barely started with the communication stages of my matches, so it will be a while before I can come up with a definitive opinion on the site.

Do I expect to find Ms. Right through this service? Honestly, at this point I’m interested in meeting other people and am kind of curious about the people I will meet through this service. Plus it is kind of fun picking out the type of questions that might seem a bit obtuse to ask in person. If the match gets offended, what’s the worst that can happen? they ignore me. oh well. Then there is also a chance that they will be comfortable enough to be honest.

I know that there could be a discrepancy between what I know about the person through the site, and what they turn out to be if I meet them in real life. I guess the fun in this is seeing how close my gauge of the person’s character is to the real thing.

2

Heh. Heh heh.

I guess that makes sense. You don’t really hear much about incubi hitting on the buddhist chicks.

3

I tried it once, and actually did meet some girls through the service. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t meet anyone I couldn’t have met by swinging a dead cat in a crowded room. There was no instant ‘click’ with any of them, and I’ve had way better chemistry in random eye contact moments in elevators.

I was underwhelmed, most of the matches didn’t have photos, and I got bored and stopped answering communication requests, and felt bad about that, so I canceled. I hope you have better luck.

4

I tried it once too, but I was only 21 and I found that most women on there weren’t looking for someone as young as I was. Oh well. I doubt I’ll try again, I’m doing alright meeting face to face, who knows - maybe I will.

5

I had good luck with Match.com. Went on a few dates, met a guy I thought would make a good friend, and ended up dating him. We’ve been going out for about two months now. I’ve heard a lot of people on these boards complaining about online dating, though, so I’m not saying it works for everyone. I think I had an advantage inasmuch as I’m female and not shy about intiating contact.

6

I tried eHarmony (seasoned online dater, here). I found it really crappy and cancelled 3 days into it.

I’ve had alot better luck with Yahoo Personals. Have met alot of really great guys, most of whom I am still friends with years later.

However…didn’t you just end a long-term relationship like 2 weeks ago? Maybe you need to just chill a bit for a while instead of spending $40/mo on finding the next love of your life.

7

Tried it over the summer. Three months at a discount.

Of the matches, I actually only got into e-mail contact with one, and she mysteriously stopped returning my e-mails after e-mail #2.(It seems to be a disturbing trend really. I get into e-mail contact with a girl and before it can go anywhere, they drop off the edge of the earth for no reason at all. )

I canceled my subscription to e-harmony and don’t regret it. I can get bupkiss for free, so why pay for it?

8

I tried eH about a year or so ago - got matched up with the same losers JDate found for me
eH keeps sending me “3 mo for the price of 1” or “3 free” emails on a regular basis. Even tho I have repeatedly clicked on “unsubscribe” at the bottom.
JDate doesn’t get it either. I haven’t paid them in over two years, yet weekly, sometimes twice a week, they send me matches.
When I think about rejoining, I remind myself that my photo & profile is probably being sent to some of these "matches’, and if anyone of them were interested in me, JDate would send me an alert.
Besides - I’m going thru my self improvement phase, so I’m not really in the right frame of mind to dive into a new relationship

that is, unless, any of you fellows are available :wink: :wink: :smiley:

9

My hair stylist just married her eharmony boyfriend, so I guess it works for some. My sister just bought a house with her Match.com boyfriend of three months so that works for some, too. Sister says Match.com is a much better investment than Curves, which for some reason, I find hysterical.

10

So … how you doin’?

And how far from Dallas, TX are you?

11

a good 3 plus hours by plane - I’m in NY

12

They’ve only known each other for three months and they bought a house? Wow.

13

Yes, and after that relationship, I hit the ground running. There turned out to be quite a lot that was mutually lacking for her and I, and combined with it being a semi-long distance relationship it helped me establish some more things I wanted to have in a relationship/friendship. I’m more interested in people who live nearer to me, and a little less flexible about what I’m willing to accomodate. I understand that kind of lessens my success rate with finding someone interested enough in me under those standards but frankly I’m tired of making the old mistake of having most of my attraction toward another person revolve around their attraction to me. I want to make it a point to surround myself with people in good company, who live close enough to visit/hang out on a whim.

I’m having fun meeting people right now, in spite of what happened. On the contrary, doing this helps me. I know some people would suggest a ‘waiting period’, but frankly considering how much time I spent alone anyway in the previous relationship, I feel like I’ve waited enough.

14

Yeah, tell me about it. :rolleyes:

15

Ok then cool, if you’re looking for more people to hang out with, that’s a swell idea. Have done it myself.

I think, then, you need to go to more “casual” relationship sites like Yahoo, Match, OKCupid, etc. Ones where other people are just putting their info up and hoping for what you’re hoping for - more friends in the area and perhaps a love interest.

eHarmony just always seemed too “serious” fo rme and not flexible enough. I want pictures, i want the guys to have my picture, i want an IM name, i want to control how it all goes.

Plus, it’s expensive :slight_smile:

16

Yep, yep, yep, I’ve been doing the eHarmony things for a bit (about four months or so). I would say that the ‘bad’ thing about it is that even though I selected matches within a 60 mile radius (there’s no one closer, honest), I’m getting matched with guys a lot further away. No, I don’t want a long distance relationship.

Also, too many guys want to email. who wants to spend six weeks emailing someone? I’m much rather meet as soon as possible to see if there’s something there (or the potential for such).

I got a 3 month for the price of one (which runs out the end of March) and probably won’t renew after that. I’m just not that impressed.

17

If you do find someone, are you going to tell us all about her paunch?

We really have to know.

18

phall0106, uh oh! That does seem a little worrisome. I too am interested in meeting people. Sure, a person’s profile might tell enough about themself to pique my interest, but the only way I’ll really know for sure is if I meet them. Because as much as I might enjoy talking on IM, email, telephone, etc to them the only way I’ll know if I click with them is actual real-life human interaction.

Oh well, I guess I’ll give it the rest of this month.

19

I watched a co-worker over his shoulder doing the eHarmony thing. I noticed three things:

  1. If you’re trying to sell yourself, TAKE A GOOD PICTURE. And no, the one with you slightly drunk, with your ex-boyfriend’s dismemberd arm around you doesn’t count. Nor one from the webcam at the office.
  2. If, in all the world, ‘your truck’ is one of the top three things you treasure…um…try to find a fourth thing. That’s just wierd.
  3. I coulda sworn eH threw a ringer in there. One girl that looked a LOT better than the others and didn’t respond to any email requests.

I’ve heard dating sites run hot n cold. One friend has a serious long-time relationship from eH, two others didn’t fare so well. At the same time, perhaps it’s value is to get out out there and not be nervous meeting other people.

20

USA Today article (linked on eharmony.com)

That is, of course, all types exept the types that the service excludes.