I mean I always knew that I had some serious problems with food and self esteem and my weight…but it seems my family has noticed too. I recently lost a good bit of weight in a pretty short period so I think they have been really worried about me.
Let me begin by saying that I have an appt with a counselor set up for next week, so I do intend to work on my problems. I just came here to kind of openly admit it for the first time. I suppose I need to get comfortable talking about it since I assume the sessions will involve a fair share of it.
I have starved myself for extended periods and I have battled with Bulimia off and on for about 4 years. I know there are some messed up and deep rooted issues at the heart of all of this but I am not sure what they are exactly. I certainly have a ball park, but it seems so exhausting to even think about fixing myself at this point.
But I do want to be healthy, so…wish me luck…and thanks for letting me open up to you guys.
Even if you are a bought and paid for captive audience 
Good luck to you. I hope the therapy helps.
waves hand
Recovering anorexic here. You absolutely CAN recover, although personally I believe its an ongoing thing (ie I never arrive, I continue to recover). The only reason I mention it is I know how alone I felt when I finally started addressing my eating disorder. So you are not alone!
For me, talking about it openly also demystified it and took a lot of the . . . I dunno, allure? That’s not the right word but talking about it was sort of like exposing roaches to light, they run b/c they know they’re going to get squished.
Feel free to PM if you want to, its been a long time since I was in active recovery but as I said I work it all the time 
Best wishes to you for success. I’m glad that you’re recognizing and dealing with these issues. We want you happy and healthy!
Hiya Mint Julep,
You can do this, don’t worry. It’s gonna take some strength and willpower, but you can do this.
all the bestest,
K
Hi Mint Julep – I am pulling for ya. I’m a recovered compulsive binger. Never purged the traditional way, just with exercise. Recovery takes work, and time, and pain, etc., but it IS possible, and I never thought it would be, for me. Good for you for getting help.
I know you said you were posting just to get it out there, but if you will accept a recommendation for good books to read, I shall give one: A woman who I will love to my dying day is Geneen Roth. I attribute a great part of my recovery to her “guidelines” and to her philosophy. I highly recommend her first four or five books. It’s very common today, but she was one of the first people to talk about the link between emotions and eating. Her book *When Food Is Love * is a wonderful, wonderful book. One thing I love about her is she has truly done it and been it all – anorexic, bulimic, a binger, fat, skinny, etc., and she says that nothing weird that a person does around food ever surprises her because she’s done everything. She makes you realize you’re not alone and that you’re also not that weird.
Good luck, you CAN recover, but it’ll be a struggle.
I’m a recovering anorexic and bulimic. It’s hard, and you need to remember it’s not just an ED, it’s also a self-confidence issue that you need to address.
Good luck–and if you need to talk about anything whatsoever, my email’s in my profile, so drop me a line.
Good luck. I have no experience with this sort of thing, but I’m always impressed by the guts it takes to confront a problem this way. Good show.
You have courage to post a thread about this, and I’m pulling for you all the way! My sister was anorexic when I was a kid. I don’t remember a thing about it (she is 10 years older), but she got help and is just fine now. I know it won’t be easy, but if you ever need to vent, we’re here.
Good luck and stay strong!
I think recovery is possible and even likely depending upon your mindset. Therapy and all that is great, but you are the master of your mentality. I personally went through a “phase” of eating restriction and my weight went down to dangerous levels. Now (22 years later) I suppose the only vestige of those symptoms is that I weigh 120 and sometimes think I’m getting a little fluffy. I’m just guessing here, but stop and think: When did what others think of you become so important? Is valuing what others think of you one of your underlying thoughts? If so, it’s a dangerous one and one which I recommend jettisoning. Doing so for me has changed my life in so many ways. Caring what you do to others, caring that they are comfortable and safe that’s one thing… caring what they think of you? Slow suicide. Just a thought, and one that worked for me. YMMV.
Thank you all so much…Contrary, I will be referring back to this thread and IM’ing or emailing you guys as I begin treatments if you dont mind. And tesseract I will be picking up your book rec. this weekend. I really love to read and I will take all of the help that I can get. Oregon sunshine, I think you hit it on the head. When did I start to base the value of my worth on my looks and the opinions of others? I think the scary truth is around age 7 or 8.
As for the rest of you all, I cannot tell you how much it means just to read supportive comments. My eating issues have been my secret for so long and I did not want to share it with anyone. I felt like a broken and malfunctioning human that would be whispered about and stared at.
Thank yall so much!
Mintie, I’m pulling for you too! It takes courage to face what’s at the root of such a destructive way to live. You have that courage, which will also give you the strength to conquer it.
All the best to you.
Hey, Mint Julep, you’ll get all the support you can stand here. And I love your username, BTW.
Good luck. It seems odd at first that someone wouldn’t know s/he has an ED, but the line between normal and disordered eating seems to be shifting, to the point where purging and crash dieting are just regular steps in feminine development. It probably wouldn’t be therapeutic at this point, but I’d recommend the book Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters to others- it goes into ‘the frightening normalcy’ of women hating their bodies.
Actually we are pretty sure we are normal. In my case I truly saw myself as fat. It’s amazing what distortion games the brain can play.