So I guess I'm going to hell.

A few years back, I teased the office manager about the beads hanging in her rear-view mirror. 'Cause, you know, young ladies get those beads by flashing their boobies to large crowds of rowdy young men 'round Mardis Gras time, which is in fact where she got the beads.

I didn’t say it, but since I’m a guy with all my guy parts, I couldn’t help but imagine her doing so, and wishing that I’d been there when she’d flashed said boobies. It didn’t help that she was pretty cute, and very friendly- hence the good-natured teasing.

I just got an email from her, after not hearing from her for over five years. She’s decided to become a nun.

I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in God. But for some reason, I’d rather see my own sister topless than a nun. And I don’t want to see my sister topless, 'cause that’s just wrong.

Ack! Nun boobies are all I can think about after reading that email! And I certainly don’t want to get into the habit* of thinking about nun boobies!

I just know I’m going straight to hell, and I don’t even believe in it!

*[SUB]Oh, come on. You knew I was going to make that joke.[/SUB]

Welcome! Allow me to show you some of our latest model hand baskets. I trust you found the path well maintained? We always intend to keep it neat and orderly…

Are you gay? No? Ooh, you are not going to like Tuesdays.

Mmmm, nun boobies.
You KNOW they wear sexy, sexy things under that outfit… Yeah, “Nuns gone wild”. Keep the head-thingy on and sloooooowly slide that robe thingy down over her shoulders.

Maybe I should be posting this here

I’ll save you a seat by the fire, because I always thought Sally Field as Sister Bertrille was hot!


Oh. You’ve been married.

Twice huh?

Need a job?


Wow, all the nun joke punchlines just came cascading back!

Nothing twisted or even wrong about fantasizing about nun boobies … or other nun parts, really. The big boys all say there are Internet sites devoted to those fantasies. I understand that nun fantasies are fairly common among my RC friends. My wife’s brothers all went to a Catholic school; just recently, we found out they all had serious crushes on the same youngish math teacher-nun. Some impure imaginings were revealed.

And since there really isn’t a Hell (except the one in Michigan) you won’t end up there no matter what you imagine.

This does raise the question, though – when someone handed her a rosary, did she … um …?

She knows you know how she got the Mardi Gras beads; she is offering you the chance to persuade her out of the nunnery, or at least out of the habit. I say, go for it.

Boobie flashing is a naughty habit. Get with her and give a real religious experience before it’s too late for her!