Squeeeeeeeee! Eee’s a wittle squishy cutie patootums, yes eee is!!
Ahem.
Seriously, what they said. In your shoes I would probably continue to try to BF morning and night, with bottles in between. By doing it just twice a day you can keep your options open without having to stress about whether or not it is working “well enough.” I found the pain stopped mostly around month two, except when the nipples cracked, and then it was another week of misery each time.
Celtling took both with no problem, but my body rejected the pump completely so she had to have formula when I was away from her. I think she actually preferred BF - contrary to what the LL purists will tell you.
And yes, formula does get expensive toward the end. At first you get by with about a can per week, but then it gets harsh as they grow and eat more. I found that the soy formula went on sale at WallyWorld about once per month and that was my cheapest option. I’d try to stock up but they got wise and started putting only one or two cans on the shelf. So I’d go by on the way to and from work every day of the sale. PITA but it was saving me about $100 per month, so I did it.
In short, it’s a matter of finding what works for you, and do that. This is going to be true for the next 20 years or so; early acceptance will save you a lot of pain. No matter which way you go there is somebody out there who will judge you for it as well, so work with your child, consult your spouse, and then get on with it.
LoL! Another tip: We had to go with the soy formula because she was lactose intolerant, but an extra added bonus - the poop isn’t nearly as foul as what the milk-based produces. I highly recommend the soy.
I have to say I’m impressed with the gubmint in that a lady came from WIC before they let me be discharged from the hospital and she ran the numbers even though I told her I was sure we didn’t qualify. (We don’t.). But what a great job - you get to tell people who don’t know that they get food gor their babies!
We used pacifiers with both babes (the Australian word is “dummy” but in our household we called them “plugs”, as in “For crying out loud, stick a plug in the noise hole and make that thing shut up!”). My cousin is an ex dental nurse and she’s pro-dummy because she said she’d seen countless kids who’d ruined their teeth through finger sucking, which is a far more difficult habit to break. As it turned out my kids spontaneously rejected dummies while still in infancy - it was great while it lasted, and over too soon.
We stressed out about the breast feeding thing too - the bunlet was a biter, and it was just too painful. And we didn’t have enough milk. So, pumping and supplementing with formula (more like 60% formula) for us, and so far he seems fine. Don’t sweat it, you’re not a terrible mom etc.
How are you pumping, though? Not all pumps are equal - we got a Medela and that really worked, whereas the hand pumps… not so much. The side of the shield matters, too.
I seem to recall some sort of subsidy in america for breast pumps? Not sure, but we got ours for $400 new (second hand is fine for these) and it was the best money we spent on the guy.
It’s complicated. THANKS OBAMA breast pumps are supposed to now be covered, but what my insurance covered turned out to be nothing that was a serious return-to-work breast pump. Something about grandfathering plans in and I don’t even. Theoretically I might be able to get some back on what I spent, but “I” in this case is actually my very generous mom, so I don’t know how they’re going to feel about that paperwork. Gonna submit it though. (The thing is that for “full coverage” you have to get it through a durable medical whatever supplier, which are more expensive than you could do at Buy Buy Baby with a good coupon. Or in this case Target had a really good sale on the Medela Pump in Style Advanced. Which is my personal nemesis at this point. I swear to god it says “REDRUM REDRUM”.)
(Just realized I’m not with my group of friends - “Thanks Obama” is ironic. It cracks me up how the crazy ass bitches on BabyCenter are all spitting poison at Obamacare but are very happy to have their free breast pumps.)
My oldest is adopted and therefore wasn’t breastfed - been there with the guilt and the public shaming and still have the emotional scarring. He’s sixteen and … sixteen (he’s just emerging from the larval stage, I hope), but healthy and intelligent. And yes, formula is really expensive. If you are a Costco, BJs or Sams Club member, check them out - sometimes the formula there is cheapest. It does however, pass - the diaper and formula stage. They find other ways to drain your wallet, but those go away. (Sixteen it seems to be the former diaper and formula bill in frozen pizza - at 13 it was shoes - he outgrew shoes every few weeks, soon - car insurance).
I have to say, previously I would NEVER have said anything to a woman who was formula feeding but I have to admit I had an internal judgment. Because, you know, the vast majority of women could breastfeed if they white knuckled it through the first few weeks, or had appropriate support, or whatever. And that might be true. Probably is true. And beforehand I gave lip service to “you do whatever is best for your own family” but I don’t know that I really bought into it. I have been truly and absolutely humbled.
And if ANY of them bitches has the nerve to speak to me about it, believe you me I am prepared and will exact vengeance.
(At the same time you have to remember that I’m the one who went to the babywearing group’s meeting last week for help, and they were SUPER helpful, but I was deeply embarrassed about pulling out a bottle there. Even though it was breastmilk in the bottle. Because you want to not care about what people think, but you totally do. And no, nobody said anything. And yes, they were all really, really nice. And helpful. But I still felt I’d somehow brought shame on famiry. And then because I’m socially awkward I left early and didn’t make any mom friends which is half the reason I went. But anyway, they were really nice and really helpful. Gah.)
Careful with that… people tend to think that “soy milk” is similar to “comes from an animal milk”, but it’s very, very different from a nutritional point of view; I’d try the formula first, since it’s supposed to be formulated specifically to be as similar to “comes from Mommy milk” as industrially possible. I’m not calling soy milk bad, just pointing out that they are more different than many people IME think.
Oh, and my oldest was in the NICU with a nose tube and after that refused to learn to nurse because it was too much effort. Even bottle nipples needed to be modified to flow faster. I timed her and once she drained a bottle in 45 seconds. She got that from her mother because I like to relish my vittles while Wife wolfs hers. And is surprised she’s always dyspeptic, not thinking that wolves like to puke their dinners and re-eat them.
I really feel like the pendulum has swung back to where women are encouraged to feel judgmental about formula-feeding. Like I said earlier, my mother fed both me and my sister with formula, and we turned out just fine, but every time we went to any sort of birth class or anything like that, they would talk to us (and talk to us) about how great breastfeeding was, and how formula feeding Just Really Wasn’t The Thing. Even my hospital room had a big poster about how colostrum was The Perfect Food for your newborn!!!
…Unless the newborn was my newborn, who was very large and who did not, in fact, thrive on colostrum and who needed formula, and I immediately felt like a complete and utter failure because I had failed at the most fundamental job of parenting: feeding my child. Only, of course, I hadn’t failed, because she got formula and she was (and is) just fine. But I have never forgotten how horrible that felt, nor that I was encouraged to feel that way by all the messages I was getting around me. (Fortunately, our pediatrician was extremely nice and non-judgmental.)
Don’t know if it was in one of your early pregnancy threads or somebody else’s, or maybe I do this in all the pregnancy threads, but I remember telling somebody to keep some of those ready-feed bottles of formula in the house, no matter how bitchin’ a breastfeeder you expect to be. Because there is no worse feeling in the world than having nothing to feed your hungry newborn at 2am.
My experience is that the gut-tearing misery eventually goes away… mostly… but the desire to save other new mothers from the same experience never does.
